I am so sad-Had a P/A today... :0(

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2004
I am so sad-Had a P/A today... :0(
12
Fri, 07-22-2005 - 12:14am
Hi gals,I am having a hard time tonite, I had a p/a today while painting,I think I stayed outside too long,and got way too hot. I tend to get panicky when I get too hot,and today was no exception. It was pretty bad to where I was having thoughts of 'I don't want to go to the emergency room'. That would be a major step back for me. So I went in, took a quarter of a xanax, I had already had about 3/4 of a .50Mg pill today, (my actual prescription is for 1 or 2 .50mg's a day, but I have never taken that because it makes me why to tired) I am slowly coming out of the p/a, but it is very hard, and I feel like crying. I am so frustrated because I haven't had one that bad for some time.
My dh was home, and did help me, but I feel so bad because I make him worry, and I know he is probably just plain frustrated with me, altho he did not say that.
And that bad thing is I am almost out of medication, and I have to be seen by the dr.in order to get a refill, which I am scared to go in,I am afraid of having a p/a while having to 'wait' at the doctors office, altho my common sense tells me that would be a good place to have a p/a,but still...So I don't know what I am going to do, I am even considering purchasing online, just to have some xanax on hand,but I really don't want to do that... :0( If you all could please think of me and send me some positive thoughts I would really appreciate it much. I hope to get it together soon, so I can be here for you all. hugs, shasta

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
Fri, 07-22-2005 - 12:52am
(((Shasta))) I am sorry to hear this. I know that when the PA's come out of nowhere, it can really rattle our feelings of safety. You have been doing so well. I know you can get back to that good place, but it will take some effort to relax & allow this fear to lose it's grip. Good luck & GBU! You know we're here for you. We care. E-mail me if there's anything you need. (((hugs))) jan



 

 


 



iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2004
Fri, 07-22-2005 - 1:14am
Thanx so much for your words of support and understanding,Jan. I was hoping to hear from someone tonite. I really appreciate it. I was just wondering, Have you ever had a p/a when you were at home just of of the blue? It is scary, and I am just trying to get past it and start tomorrow as a new day. I don't want to be scared to paint the house, just because this happened while i was painting...That is kinda how p & a can take over your life, the fear of it happening again. I cannot allow this to control my life anymore than it already is.
Jan-You are so sweet for replying, especially this late on your side of the states.
Thank-you so much! Love you! shasta
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-2005
Fri, 07-22-2005 - 6:41am

I'm so sorry to hear this Shasta. Your body was just telling you to slow down and drink lots of fluids. :( Is there any way DH can accompany you to the doctor when you go to get your refill? That might help.

Just take care of yourself and rest up. It's too hot outside anyway. Maybe you can do your painting in the evening as the sun goes down.

Many hugs to you!!
Kendra

Avatar for atober
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2004
Fri, 07-22-2005 - 8:32am

I hope you are feeling better today. It is terrible how these things can just sneak up on us. I have had anxiety at home over nothing too. I feel the same way about my DH. He is supportive to one extent but wants to know what is causing my feelings. I try to explain that it is nothing in particular but he wants something logical which p&a are not.

Anyway, hugs to you.

Alison

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
Fri, 07-22-2005 - 9:08am
Sadly, I must admit that I have been blindsided by an attack @ home. Home is my safety & it can release a ton of doubts & *what ifs* when I am struck. I don't want to be alone, but I know that I HAVE too, to get back where I was before the attack. It's impossible to know what causes these *out of the blue* attacks. Was it the heat? Was it the painting? It may not have been, but I feel for ya, gf. That will hang in the back of your mind until you can shake it. That's much like what Mia has been telling about returning to the gym. This is a very difficult spot to be in. Don't let it rule your life. Remember the shopping trips you made successfully. Don't forget crossing that bridge! *Accentuate the positive, eliminate the negative.* Don't forget we're here if you need to talk this out. It's nothing to be ashamed of, Shasta. Nothing to hide. We all have had these minor setbacks & for us to get back on the horse we just fell off of, takes alot more effort than those other folks who never enjoyed our anxiety *ride.* LOL Be kind to yourself. (((hugs))) jan



 

 


 



iVillage Member
Registered: 04-18-2003
Fri, 07-22-2005 - 9:59am

Shasta, I'm so sorry to hear about your pa. I've had them come out of the blue both at home and at work. I'll just be sitting, watching tv & wham! - there it is. Having been house bound for 6 months, it was hard because home was my only "safe" place. I wouldn't be surprised if the heat and possible being tired? were a part of it. My dh had something happen at work yesterday & I think that was the cause for him (see separate post). I've also had a full-blown pa in an MD office - it was embarrassing & makes me fear the MD, too. When I go, I take an "extra" xanax before I leave the house & I tell the pdoc that when I get there - just so she doesn't think I'm always this calm, lol! Make the MD appt. The bad thing with the internet drugs is I'm not sure how well they are regulated. I even read somewhere that it is illegal to buy them and wonder if people won't get in trouble at some point? I've considered buying online, too, but only if my doc won't prescribe something that works for both of us. I hope you're feeling better today. Your shopping trip was such an inspiration to all of us! Take care!

((Hugs))
Sheri Ann

Sheri Ann

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-12-2003
Fri, 07-22-2005 - 10:33am

Shasta, Im sorry about your panic attack, I can only imagine how frustrating that must be :((( . Unfortunately, I suffer most my panic attacks at home, while im sitting around watching tv, listening to music, or going to bed.
I think you should really try going to the doctor's office, it would really beneficial for you. my therapist always asks me, 'so what if you have a panic attack, what's the big deal?' and maybe she's right..the doctor might actually put you at ease if he/she notices that your heart rate and blood pressure are elevated. you should also ask your Dh to come with you, it could really help. I just don't know how safe it is to order pills from the internet.

Mia

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2005
Fri, 07-22-2005 - 10:53am

Hi shasta, I'm sorry to hear about your panic attack. I too internally fight with my self over whether to go to the er or not- i have been there twice in the last 13 years and don't want to take that step back either. but if i have to go i will.

My husband does not understand - when i tell him im having intense anxiety or a pa, he wants to know why- so he can try to fix it. it's not that easy, but that is a man's way.(usually).
I agree with painting in the cooler time of the day and definitely going to the doctor maybe with your husband. i don't know about the internet pills.

You are not alone- we all care about you and can really understand your feelings.
Elaine

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2004
Fri, 07-22-2005 - 4:49pm
To all my GF's,I just want to thank you all for your kind words and thoughts. You have no idea how much that means to me.
I think I need to talk to dh tonite, because before he left this morning he made some comment like 'get up early today'. I don't think he realized that I had a P/A yesterday. And I don't know about you, but the day after I feel just drained. So I told myself I am taking the day off, altho I feel a little guilty and anxious for even doing that.
But I am going to have dh read part of the workbook I have to maybe try to make him understand what I went thru yesterday. In one part it states: 'The PA that occurs out of the blue or wakes you at nite is physiologically indistinguishable from your response to such experiences as your car stalling on railroad tracks or waking to hear a robber going through your house'
That is about the only thing I have found that might be able to help him understand.
And he already offered to go back to my dr.with me. So I think I will make that appt.
(even tho I dread it so much-I am wondering if I would be more 'anxious' taking meds bought off the net-plus we really can't afford them)
Anyways,I am feeling a little better,just drained which is definitely better than that anxious feeling! And it is much cooler here today, so that helps! We had a thunderstorm last nite, and then I felt sorry for my kitty kids, Bailey & Gracie, because they were having anxiety! And I was treating them just as I would want to be treated while I am having a p/a! :0) So I was up late with them taking care of their fears, which helped to take the focus off mine, but I just felt bad they had to be so scared!
Well, Thanks for listening to my story and for all of your support and care.
I don't know what I would do without you guys. Thanx for being here! BIG HUG, shasta
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
Fri, 07-22-2005 - 7:50pm
'The PA that occurs out of the blue or wakes you at nite is physiologically indistinguishable from your response to such experiences as your car stalling on railroad tracks or waking to hear a robber going through your house' Whoa!!! I know exactly what this means. I have said for years that the ones that awaken me @ night are the absolute worst. Finally someone put it into words. Thx for sharing that, Shasta! Refer dh to me if he doesn't understand. LOL (((hugs))) jan



 

 


 



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