Can I Vent?? - Bad Day
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| Mon, 07-25-2005 - 2:51pm |
I am full of worry and depression. I went to the depression board also, but have found that this community has much more activity so thought I would post here. I suffer from clinical depression and GAD. Like everyone I have my good and bad days. Today I am worrying about everything.
We are going to settlement for a house we are purchasing on Friday. Good news, right?? Would be if we had been able to sell the house we currently own. It is taking sooo long and it makes me worry about money. My husband and I can afford a mortgage but not two for very long.
I am preparing to send my oldest DD to kindergarten in a little over a month and we bought her school supplies last night. That was fun for both of us but now I am so worried about "letting go". I don't know how well they can keep track of kids these days with the teacher to child ratio. I am worrying unrealisticly about problems that will probably never happen.
My oldest sister who lives with my mom (who watches my kids at her home during the day, lucky again) is having problems with an old friend who she recently got back in touch with via the internet. He is e-mailing, calling, and basically saying some very heavy things. Stalking or phone harassement at the very least since she has told him she can't talk to him anymore. She has changed her number and now he is leaving messages for her on my mom's phone. So, I am worried about my sister, my mom and my girls as they are at their house during the day. This guy may be harmful (his sister even said so). Luckily he is in another state for now as far as we know.
I have been at my job almost 90 days and have been doing good on the work given but am not busy enough to not concentrate on all my worries. I also had to do a self-assessment for my boss and it is hard when you feel not so great about yourself.
To top it all off two of my best friends went out over the weekend (I am glad they get along and can hang out when I have to be home with my kids). But, my one friend told the other something I had confided in her that I was thinking of doing that might effect the other friend and now I all I could say to my friend is that I wouldn't do that. It is true. I thought it over and talked to a couple of my "close" friends and decided against it. Now I do not trust the friend who I confided in and we have kept in touch from a previous job for over fifteen years. I don't have many close friends and hate to have to cross one off the list.
Anyone who has read through all of this is very tolerant and I appreciate it. It helps to get things off my chest sometimes. Seems like today I am just letting everything get to me at once. I have taken the xanax the dr prescribed and don't feel as anxious just down.
Thanks for listening and I hope all of you are having a better day than I. Tomorrow is a new and hopefully better day.
Alison

Elaine
Blessings, Suz
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Thanks for the replies. I am feeling a little bit better today. I am looking forward to a night out with one of my girlfriends. It usually serves to take my mind off of things if only for a little while.
Thanks again for letting me unload. It really does help.
Alison