negative thinking/self hate

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2005
negative thinking/self hate
4
Fri, 08-05-2005 - 2:32pm
what are some of your ways to deal with the negative talking going on in your head and the self doubt/hate. I am still strugling day to day but am FIGHTING LIKE HECK. ELAINE
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
Fri, 08-05-2005 - 6:22pm

Sorry to hear that you're still feeling *down,* Elaine. You need to tell yourself that these are *feelings.* Your depression/anxiety is clouding your thinking & making it hard to tell what's accurate & what's not.


For instance, when I was in your shoes, I doubted my abilities as a mom. That still pops into my head every now & again, but I know it isn't true. When a negative thought pops in your head, beat it back with a positive thought that you know is true. It takes 11 positive thoughts to overcome one negative. Make a list of all your good points. Your many strengths, too. You can list all the negatives, but on another piece of paper. When you're done, throw the negative OUT!


Look outside yourself. Many of us have turned our blues around by helping others through volunteer work. I think it's just as valuable(though you might think it's a bit corny) to ask others you meet, how they're doing. Really mean it. Listen to what THEY have to say. Offer to allow someone to go ahead of you in the checkout line @ the super market. Allow a car to pull in front of you in heavy traffic. If you're a person of faith, pray. Read a religious text or an inspirational story. Try meditation. Try yoga. If you're fighting, that's great! Don't forget regular exercise increases the endorphins(feel good chemicals) in your blood.


Good luck to you. If you haven't already, consider the depression support board. http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-bhdepression

 

 


 



iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Sat, 08-06-2005 - 12:18am
Hi Elaine!

Blessings, Suz   Posts in this Community   

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-17-2001
Sat, 08-06-2005 - 12:27am

Elaine,


I was just like you.


i struggled through EVERY MINUTE. I was scared to go to sleep because I was afraid of what I would face the next day.


you are fighting and you need to continue. just keep telling yourself that you've made it so far so you have no reason to think that you won't continue to make it. Every day you are closer to getting better. Not as fast as you'd like I know.


my therapist told me that when the negative thoughts start to creep on to actually invision a stop sign in my head and that will help. I thought that she was weird but it really does work.


Also, my faith helped me more then anything. Pray as much as you want. I read the bible every night along with a devotional book every morning. I also pray as soon as I wake up in the morning before I get out of bed.


Take Care Elaine... I really care about you and I know what you are going through. It wasn't so long ago that I was in the same situation. I still have bad days but I am doing SO MUCH better. It just takes some time.


Hang in there and lean on us for support, thats what we're here for.


(((((HUGS))))

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2003
Sat, 08-06-2005 - 5:28pm
Elaine Despite our best efforts sometimes these thoughts come!
There is an excellent article in Ladies Home Journal about self-
I might also suggest self matters by Dr Phil or the 4 Agreements
that book helped me so much! Also keep a diary of good things
write anything good that happens during your day--- these when read
the next day give you a lift!! It is hard to keep trying but you HAVE TO!
Take care, Judy