I"m bummed & hurt and that's putting it.
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I"m bummed & hurt and that's putting it.
| Wed, 08-10-2005 - 6:23pm |
Mild, P.O'd would also describe it. I had a massive blow out with my best friend last week, it's so long I can't even begin to tell the story. Well here I think we're making great strides to fix the damage and she drops another bomb on me today. She feels that things have not been right with us for a while, WELL DUH!!!! It's taken her 4+ years and a major fight to figure that out.
I feel that we've simply grown apart. It happens. We're in different places in our lives, at least I think so. There are some common factors, kids, husbands, cats

That's a shame, Danielle. I'm glad you brought it to the board. Maybe if we all stick our heads together we can come up with something. @ the very least, we'll give you a shoulder to lean on.
I have moved on from gf's in my life. In fact, I was dumped rather unceremoniously one time, cause her new bf didn't like me. Whatever! I am still here & her bf, well let me see... He is with the 3rd woman since he left her. LOL Gf's are no different than men. If it was meant to be, then it will be.
I don't know what it is that makes us think that if we could only talk face to face, everything would be alright. Sometimes it just makes for a more painful parting. In e-mails you can delete & re-write. Face to face, things may be said that would have been better left unsaid. KWIM? We love you, Danielle. I hope this passes soon. It's never easy to hear about a friend who's hurting): (((hugs))) jan
Hugs & Prayers,
Danielle
Hysterectomy & Alternatives
Host of Tuesday Night Anxiety, Panic & Phobia's Chat 7 - 9 pm MST
"No heaven will not ever Heaven be; Unless my cats are there to welcome me." --Unknown
The first site below was done for me by
Hugs & Positive Thoughts Always,
When she stated that 'I should not rely on my dh for support with my anxiety, I should rely on her and listen and do what she said because she had 'researched anxiety' and was now an expert' (LOL!) That was the last straw for me! (Over the years I allowed this 'friend' to walk all over me, and push me around-when we would meet everything was always about 'her' she never asked about my life, it was pretty much a stressful thing being friends with this person) So when she talked garbage about my dh, I finally had had it. I told her I was doing 'fine' and that me and my dh would get through my p/a together, and to kindly back-off!
Well you can imagine how she took this! She promptly emailed me, and said some crap about how she guessed I didnt want to be her friend anymore, and that she guessed she should just leave me alone......And you know what! I DID NOT contact her again for some time...(I would no longer 'play' into her games) And I will tell you what,That took SO much stress off of me! I did finally send her a get-well card when she had some difficulties with her pregnancy, and then a baby card when the healthy baby was born in Dec...
And now we are back to emailing each other again! I think she FINALLY realized that I was not going to let her walk on me, and that if I had to choose between her and my dh, she would not be the choice! So now we just go on as friends, she STILL talks about herself much of the time, but I guess that is just her! We just needed a time-out I suppose.
When this happened, I was just at a point in my life where I was not willing to put up with any more crap from anyone that would add to my stress and anxiety.
I am glad we are friends and on speaking terms now, but I do agree people grow apart sometimes too. So Danielle, I think you are right, if it is meant to be, you guys will be friends in the end. But always know, You have a group of friends here that care about you LOTS! And we will always be here for you! HUGS! shasta
Gees, Danielle, that's too bad. I, too, know how you feel. I've had one great friend & we've drifted apart also. My dh had done some work for her & her dh, charging them less than 1/2 of what he would normally charge (only $15/hr for some major home renovations - new kitchen, tile ...) when we first moved to CT. My dh had just gotten out of the USMC & was unemployed. She called one day and asked for a copy of the insurance policy for their job. I told her he didn't take out a policy on their job because he was making so litte & was doing it more as a favor/as a friend - not as a "job" and that he didn't take out a policy for it. Anyways, it ended up they were trying to claim the remodeling of their home under their business expenses & the irs was requesting the info. She was so mad she had to pay taxes on the work and never talked to me again. Well, we included the income on our tax return, so $15/hr is now like $10/hour, ok. They are the godparents of our 4 y.o. and they just disappeared from our lives. I can't even begin to tell you how much this hurt me & the anxiety it caused. We'd talk on the phone all hours of the night, go shopping together, visit, we even always rented apartments by each other (when we weren't sharing an apt!) It was so hard for me. Right before I moved in April to NC, she came over to see my ds & I. It was so arkward. We just don't have anything in common anymore. It's the hardest thing that I've had to overcome. I hope things work out for you. It's hard to build such a great friendship.
Sheri Ann
Sheri Ann
Hugs & Prayers,
Danielle
Hysterectomy & Alternatives
Host of Tuesday Night Anxiety, Panic & Phobia's Chat 7 - 9 pm MST
"No heaven will not ever Heaven be; Unless my cats are there to welcome me." --Unknown
The first site below was done for me by
Hugs & Positive Thoughts Always,
Oh heavens Sheri Ann, Another mess : (
I hate to say this becuase it comes as a bitter sweet statement but I'm glad I am not alone in this issue.
Hugs & Prayers,
Danielle
Hysterectomy & Alternatives
Host of Tuesday Night Anxiety, Panic & Phobia's Chat 7 - 9 pm MST
"No heaven will not ever Heaven be; Unless my cats are there to welcome me." --Unknown
The first site below was done for me by
Hugs & Positive Thoughts Always,
I am so sorry, Danielle. The breakup of a twenty year friendship is alot like divorcing a spouse after a long marriage. Allow yourself to mourn a little.
I lost a friend around the time I first started seriously working on my depression and anxiety. This was a person I had been friends with for 7 or 8 years. I had seen her through her divorce, depression and dealing with her difficult child. She dumped me over something really trivial and dumb. I think it was just an excuse. I had just started dating my husband (who is A TERRIFIC guy.) at the time. IT seemed that once I had a life and started to be a bit happier, my so called friend did not want to be around me. I don't know exactly why your friend and you split but something similar may have happened. I remember that you just started treatment for bipolar condition several months ago (?) I can't be sure but I wonder if your progress getting your life together might be one of the reason for the breakup.
Whatever it was, I know you will eventually find yourself an even better best friend!!! I did.
Hugs.
I can relate to your post. I, too, was getting my life together for the 1st time & had just married my husband and was pregnant when this happened with my best friend & I. I sometimes wonder if she didn't thrive off all the drama in my "old" life!
Sheri Ann
Sheri Ann