thought i was ok, please help
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| Thu, 08-11-2005 - 7:46pm |
Hi there,
Today has been such an emotional day for me. I was feeling great. Made sure all my ducks were in a row. No one was mad at me, I didn't say anything to hurt anyone's feelings, I felt "ok." Then BOOM, one thing happens that sends me in a talespin. I said something to a friend (Jen), and her reaction seemed like she was upset. We just found out our kids are in the same pre-school class, and it is a great class. The kids are wonderful. I was just a little sad that this one little girl, Sarah, wasn't in our class. I felt like I hurt my friend's feelings by telling her i was sad that Sarah wasn't in the class. Stupid... I know. This must sound so silly to a total stranger reading this. This girl (Jen) is not an overly sensitive person, and she probably didn't think twice about it. I just feel awful that maybe she thought I wasn't happy that our kids are together. I don't know what to do. I know I need to ride these things out, but I am going to be up all night worrying about this. I am also upset that Jen and Sarah's mom made plans without me. I feel so lonely and left out. I just feel like dissapearing. I don't feel like I have a soul in the world to talk to. No one wants to hear my BS anymore.
Thank you to anyone reading this. I could really use some positive words right now. I don't know how much longer I can take this anxiety. It comes and goes so quickly, and just a few small words can make all the difference. It is so sad that my life is based on people's tones and such. I am such a loser. It's amazing I have two small children.
JD

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You are not alone. I can assure you of that. It feels like you just cannot possibly get through it at times - like you are against a brick wall and absolutely cannot move it. I know, it can really tear you down and make you feel all around terrible. The good news is that your mind usually will not remain in this state for a long time. Eventually, you will come out of it and feel normal again. I know that normal is all I want sometimes. I do not even ask to be overly happy, just normal would be so nice at those times. It is funny how you can want something like normalcy to come so badly you cannot stand it. I have been there many times. It really is painful. So many others do not understand it until they experience it like we do. That makes it hard too. That is what makes me feel isolated at times. But, remember, you are not alone. Your loved ones may not get it, but we do on this board.
Kim
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