Repetitive negative thoughts of the past

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-05-2005
Repetitive negative thoughts of the past
7
Fri, 08-12-2005 - 4:06pm

Hey everyone.
I have GAD and I am getting very exhausted and feel like flushing myself down the toilet sometimes.
The cause of my anxiety is usually constant negative thoughts of regrets of the past.
Is there anyone else like this? Do these kinds of things cause your anxiety.
They really get me down on myself. I was a really confident person before the anxiety hit.
I am really scared and I hate wasting all this time I should be enjoying with my new husband. Any tips for him dealing with my anxiety? he doesn't know what to do, and I have no clue either. Thanks for listening

Nina

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2005
Fri, 08-12-2005 - 4:12pm
HI NINA-- I HAVE GAD TOO AND HAVE VERY NEGATIVE THOUGHTS ON THE PAST ALSO. I CARRY IT TO THE FUTURE AND HAVE DEPRESSION. I AM TRYING TO DEAL WITH IT AND don't have alot of advice for you , but you are not alone. THIS IS A GREAT BOARD AND THERE ARE MANY KIND PEOPLE WHO WILL OFFER YOU THAT ADVICE.
ELAINE
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2003
Fri, 08-12-2005 - 5:26pm


Nina xxxx

Pre- my wonderful hubby, I had a relationship with a man that was VERY verbally and emotionally abusive. I had continuous negative thoughts after the relationship ended like: Why would I let myself get involved with a not very bright, boring, MEAN man? Why did I stay with him at all? Etc. Etc. I berated myself about the past CONSTANTLY. I found a saying that really helped me: "Even God cannot change the Past." I began to see that it was pointless to fret about something I could not change. Once I met my husband, I began to realize I went through the "mean relationship" so that I could appreciate a good one!!! I also realized that the relationship was not my fault. At worst, I was too naive and trusting. Ironically, I was just as open as my husband but I was rewarded with love and kindness and not abuse.

I hope this helps.

Community Leader
Registered: 09-14-1997
Fri, 08-12-2005 - 6:20pm

Hi Nina


As a recovering alcoholic, I have many things in my past that I could dwell on. Except that what is past, is just that, gone forever. When I sink into those feelings, the first thing I have to do is get rid of them. Journaling doesn't work for me, because I just re-read it and feel worse. There are a couple of things I do. I write things on pieces of paper then shredd the paper (manually, it has a lot of satisfaction in it.) Another thing I do is yell them out in the car (windows up, air conditionning on, in this weather.) I tell someone I trust. Now-a-days I just say the things I regret aloud THEN make sure I add BUT and something I have to be positive about today. For example: I regret that I

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2003
Fri, 08-12-2005 - 9:55pm
Hi and WELCOME! I am 58 I have panic disorder I did have agoraphobia
as well- that is gone! The panic attacks are few now! I have a great
doctor he is a hypnotherpist! He is helping me get over my past I have
spent my life with very low self esteem and fearing most things and people!
I am now getting past this with this doctors help! Talk therapy was good
but this really takes care of your subconsious and changes your thoughts.
It has taken about a year but I have noticed a change in my thinking-
finally! I have been in therapy for over 10 years-
Negative thinking is bad you know that but with some it is so ingrained
in us it is hard to overcome alone. Find a therapist one that you can
bond with! Be kind to yourself and stay active so these thoughts have
a hard time taking over! God Bless, Judy
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Sun, 08-14-2005 - 12:01am
Hi Nina!

Blessings, Suz   Posts in this Community   

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
Sun, 08-14-2005 - 12:23am

Hi, Nina! Nice to have you here.


Just a couple of thoughts I'd like to share. Besides panic, I have OCD. It mostly involves obssessive thinking, so I can relate to the repetitive thoughts. A broken record has played many times in my head. Our fill in cl this weekend(Beth) has the Serenity prayer in her sig line. *God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change...* I have used that many times, especially when past anxieties have resurfaced. Past IS past. You cannot go back & change it.


As for how your dh can help, you know the answer to that. Some of us want others around when we're anxious. Some do not. The important thing is for you to learn to cope better. To become more comfortable with your anxiety. Fighting it proves useless. The best approach that I have found is to replace my thinking with positive thoughts, meditation & relaxation. Keep busy. Physical activity is great. Eating well & getting plenty of sleep work, too. You can learn to live with GAD. There's hope. We want you to feel better. Good luck & GBU! (((hugs))) jan



 

 


 



iVillage Member
Registered: 05-05-2005
Sun, 08-14-2005 - 4:13pm
Thanks for your replies.
I tried hypnotherapy before and it didn't seem to help at all. I don't really think I was put into that deep state of relaxation, I just felt like I was laying back in the chair with my eyes closed. I felt really silly doing it!
I have tried celexa a couple years ago which didn't help, then I was on effexor for about 8 months which helped and came off then 3 months later (which was this past May) the anxiety came back. I have now been on Remeron for almost 9 weeks and have Ativan for when I really need it. The medication has helped, I guess it just takes time. I ajusted the dose about 3 weeks ago so maybe it still needs some time to kick in a bit more.
Ya I guess I do just need my husband to be nearby or hug me when I am not feeling so good.
It's nice to know there are others out there that understand, because sometimes I feel so alone with this.....it's really scarey when you can't control your thoughts.
Thanks for the advice