very nervous
Find a Conversation
| Tue, 08-16-2005 - 9:50am |
Hi there,
Today I feel so anxious and nervous. I am supposed to go out to lunch with some girls from pre-school and then take my son to swimming lessons. I just cancelled lunch because one, it is my only day with a sitter and two, we are going out to dinner. I feel like i am missing out at lunch, but at the same time, I was nervous to go in the first place. Also, I never get much time to myself and the swim lesson cuts into the middle of the day. I also feel guilty because my son would love to go out to lunch with his friends so I feel like I am denying him a good time. See, this is what I do to myself all the time. My mind ruminates constantly! It is horrible, and then I work myself up so much so that i feel sick. I feel like the girls are going to talk about me or that they are never going to invite me out with them again. I know, it's not reality, it's just my insecurities playing tricks on me.
I am also afraid to go to the swim lesson because there are three other girls there. I know it sounds silly, but I get nervous every time I am in a group situation. I always feel as if the girls are thinking bad things about me, or that they don't like me or my son. Neither of which are true. (so I hope!)
I am sorry to babble on and on, but I have no where to turn. I always feel like I am on the verge of crying or wanting to dissapear! This anxiety feels like an elephant is sitting on my chest.
Thank you to anyone who is reading this.
Love, JD

JD,
I think the doubts and apprehensions you're having are perfetly normaly. it's human nature to want to be liked, and even people without anxiety disorders have self doubts sometimes about these things. at the same time though I think there are different levels of anxienty and nervousness. when you're feeling extremely anxious and on edge like you're going to have a panic attack it might be a good idea to avoid social situations that may provoke a p/a, because you just need to take time for yourself and relax a little. however, if your anxiety is such that you still feel like you can survive certain situations without a p/a or extreme panic, it can be a good idea to push yourself harder and do them. The more you avoid situations under moderate anxiety, the scarier they become. I know for me, the more I dont do things because of my anxiety, that more likely I am to avoid those things in the future. I also understand you wanting to spend some time alone, and not wanting to go out to eat twice in a day. I think you just need to figure out why you don't want to go to lunch, and to remind yourself that you're not a bad person for wanting to stay home. everyone has those days sometimes, and I know your girlfreinds will understand! so ultimately, what im trying to say even though it's cliche, is that you should do what feels right for you, and if that means staying home and relaxing, you should do it as long as it doesn't make you feel bad about yourself later.
Mia
JD,
I think that we have all been there. I get those time also when I feel as though everyone is talking about me and doesn't like me. Its an awful feeling.
In my opinion what you have done is just make excuses not to go to lunch. I understand that but maybe it would be good for you for to go to lunch that way you can see that you can do it and maybe you'll have fun while your there.
Maybe you can just try to talk to the other girls a little bit more
I do agree with you that I moght make excuses, however, this situation for me is two fold. One, I am nervous to go to lunch and swimming (the same girls will be at both). I really do try to push myself to interact in these situations, but it is scary sometimes. I could make excuses to get out of everything, but then I am left to feel like people don't want to be around me or that they don't want to invite me again. Almost as if I "lost my chance." Two, I feel guilty that I am not going, but I do want to run errands and do something for myself. I really want to feel confident and comfortable with my decisions and not do something just because I think people won't like me. Am I making any sense here? It doesn't feel like it.
When I read your message it sounded as if you were annoyed, too. See, I project it onto everyone. Even a stranger. Why would you be annoyed or think I did anything wrong? I always feel like people don't like me, even a stranger. What a joke.
Thanks again for your honesty. I appreciate it. JD
JD,
never would I want to feel as though I were annoyed. That certainly is NOT the case. I was just trying to give my honest opinion and that's all it was, an opinion based solely on what I read and how I interpreted it.
I apologize if that is not the case and I am truly sorry if I upset/offend you in anyway. That is never my intention.
Anxiety is
anxiety is so horrible.i have done the very same thing also.because we tend to be so down on our selves we asume everyone else is looking at us thinking bad also.that use to eat me up.its just anxiety.i just avoided something that i wanted to do and for days i have been beating myself up.i made excuses as to why i couldnt do it.then i was left feeling like a failure.you felt like Heather didnt like you also,it would be my guess sweetie that heather was right on with what she said and thats why it bothered you.when i avoided my situation the other day,i made excuses and someone said to me,i cant believe you did that ,instantly i felt like they hated me and seen what a failure i was.this has been bothering me so bad,i am turning it into something positive.i am going to thearpy now.my anxiety isnt really bad,but i dont want to
Blessings, Suz
Posts in this Community ![]()
Thank you for the advice. I agree with you. I am trying.
Love, JD