okay should i?
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okay should i?
| Sat, 08-20-2005 - 9:34pm |
my honey told me today for me not to worry anymore to go get a hiv test together(hiv date sounds fun huh). he says that i have nutting to worry about so we can go and just get it over with. Im so scared. I dont know if I have the guys to do it. I can go get the test done but can i hear the results? I cant wait a week or two to get the results. I feel scared. My best friend isent here shes in california I cant talk to her and have her go down with us so she can hold my hand. I know sounds silly but i never wish this upon anyone. Its so scary., My honey says all my bump,aches and pains all lead to my ocd,anxiety, and stress i can believe him. WHY? Cause its no logically when can have phisical and mental symptoms and not have anything wrong with us. It's so scary my heart aches my head feel numb my throat feels all werid my face feels numb especially around my eyes and nose . I think i have thrush now and i saw littly wite bumps in my nose. I know more then likely i have HIV or maybe its already AIDS i know i have to go get tested but i cant im to scared. I dont want to die in 10-15 years.the weird thing is magic johnson is all fine and dandy.(he has hiv those who dont know) hes had it for 15 years now going on 16.most of the time it take 10 -12 years for hib to become aids. Why hasnt he gotten it. I dont with or hope he has it . he has children and a wife. And they need him. everyone including myself thinks hes cured. THE GOVERNMENT HAS A CURE and just wont give it out to many people. cause the worlds getting over populated. I pray and hope thats not the case but funny things have been happening.. PLEASE GUYS HOW DO I GET TO COURAGE TO GET UP AND GO GET TESTED.

Ok Ana,
Heres the deal... you have been here for SO LONG talking about the same thing. You are not trying to help yourself at all. We are all here for you to support you but their is only so much we can do for you and only so many times that we can tell you the same thing.
We have all told you to just go and get tested. You are already convinced that you have HIV so what have you got to lose by getting tested? You can gain a lot by getting a negative result and not worring about that anymore.
I have to wonder how you bf feels about all of this. I assume that he wants you to just get tested and put your mind at ease.
Ana, you CANNOT go on like this.. you WILL NOT get better anxiety wise until you get tested and deal with the issues that are causeing you to obsess about it.
Please listen to all of us and GET TESTED to put your mind at ease. I assure you that you will feel better.
I forget if you see a p/t doc and are you on any meds? If not then i suggest that think about seeing someone.
((HUGS))
((Heather)) I agree w/Heather that "You can gain a lot by getting a negative result and not worring about that anymore. " as it seems like this is taking over your life. Because I'm new I may not know much of a storyline, but do you have reason to think you are HIV+ or is it just a complete fear of yours? My very first roomie in college had a complete fear that she had HIV and was afraid to be tested. She didn't really have any true reasons to think she had it and she admitted this. I think it was just her anxiety and phobias. Nevertheless she did get tested and it was -. I think just knowing either way took a huge part of her anxiety off her shoulders. Please take care of yourself. Oh, and i have to say that i agree in that it's ironic how famous people seem to rarely get sick and when they do, suddenly they're cured, unlike the rest of the human population. Governments doing??? I would venture to say it's something along those lines. But that's just my 2 cents.
I am in total agreement with what all the gals have said to you-Kendra,Jan,Heather,Kim and Yavonne.
Please help yourself.
I just know you will feel so much better once you get some help.
Please, Call tomorrow, and get in to a clinic or see a dr. A.S.A.P.
The sooner you go, the closer you are to ending the anxiety about the HIV.
It sounds like your honey is willing to help you get through this, take him up on the offer. He sounds like a really great guy.
Please let us know how it goes after you have your appt. You will have lots of ppl here waiting to celebrate with you for making it to your appt! :0D
WE CARE ABOUT YOU!
And would like to see you get some relief from the anxieties you are having.
Take Care! :)
Your friend, shasta
Blessings, Suz
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