Hi I'm new on these boards!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-22-2005
Hi I'm new on these boards!
9
Mon, 08-22-2005 - 5:36am
Just wanted to drop in and say hello and tell everyone alittle about myself. I go by Stooh (Don't mind the Silly Goddess_Stooh name.. I am not one.. It was the best it gave me to chose from)Anyways.
I have Panic disorder/Agoraphobia/Social Phobia. I am really intrested in getting to know some of you and possibly making some friends who know what I am actually talking about when I say I can't work at this point. It's nice to have people who understand, at this point in my life I'm just really deep down with my depression because some people are under the impression that you can turn panic disorder off and on at will.
I am in a Anxiety group currently and plan to start it over again when this one ends. I do see a therapist but currently on Lexapro. For the time being until I can get back into the dr to be switched back to Zoloft or have my dose upped more...
I am a 22 year old SAHM (not by choice of course) of 2 boys. 5 years and a 10 month old.
So Hi. Can't wait to get to know some of you!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
Mon, 08-22-2005 - 8:34am

Hello! Nice to have you here. You are NOT alone. Many of us are works in progress. I have panic w/agoraphobia & though @ times life is difficult to manage, I make myself leave the house & drive everyday. There was a time that I didn't drive for 3 years. So, I can relate to your being @ home & not working. It is possible to get back into the swing of things. Meds

 

 


 



iVillage Member
Registered: 05-29-2003
Mon, 08-22-2005 - 9:01am

Welcome. You came to the right place. Everyone here is so wonderful, and has such a great way of making you feel welcome. You are not alone. Anxiety is a horrible feeling, and you will gain great comfort from these beautiful women.

ps. WHat did you mean by "not your choice" to stay at home?

Good luck. Jolie

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-18-2003
Mon, 08-22-2005 - 9:07am

Welcome Stooh - you've found a great group! I have agoraphobia with panic disorder. I wouldn't even leave the house when I found this group and am now doing lots of outings with my dh and son. I haven't been able to work since January, so I hear you there. The money is missed, lol. I used to concentrate on my inability to work and make my anxiety work. One day my counselor put things in a different perspective. She reminded me that I would love to spend more time at home with my 4 y.o. son - she said to treat this like a vacation, enjoy the time with my son, do things I never have time to do, like reading and my mind would heal and the anxiety would lessen. She was right, I spent so much time being angry for not being able to work like a "normal" person that I was causing alot more anxiety for myself. My goal was to be back to work by Labor Day and I will not meet that goal, but I am going to aim for October now. I am lucky, or should I say unlucky! to have 3 friends at work that also suffer from anxiety & panic. I didn't know it until this happened to me. People who don't have it, just don't understand. A girl I met in a chat last night was saying she went shopping this weekend with her parents after not being out in months. When they got to the store she told her parents she was having an anxiety attack, they replied no you aren't! I felt so bad for her. Just because we LOOK okay, doesn't mean we ARE okay. We have chat Tues night at 9 pm est, stop by - this is truly a great group!

Sheri Ann

Sheri Ann

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-22-2005
Mon, 08-22-2005 - 6:22pm

By saying "Not by choice" I meant that if I felt comfortable enough to be out and working I would do it. As with others it's a goal to get back to work.
My panic disorder has been bad since 2001 and I have't worked since then.And sometimes I find myself highly frustrated about it. Granted I am home with my 2 children all the time, but sometimes I wish I could work to escape the same 4 walls and earn money as we are struggling to make ends meet. And sometimes I feel my sanity is at stake here. lol Just being honest. for most of my 5 year olds life I have been a SAHM and I am just tried. I also have BPD and I find myself angry alot its hard to cope with being in the house every minute of the day.
I refuse to drive as in my town, we have alot of idiots. I take on the "backseat driver" whenever I do on those small occasions HAVE to go out and do the family shopping. I'm always looking around for a car coming too close or not slowing down. And as a reaction I catch my hand trying to brace for a crash. So yeah, driving is a "no" for me at this point.

The classes are wonderful. I freak out but again its a wonderful place to be knowing I am not the only one who has this condition.We discuss what triggers our panic attacks, How to use visulization and how deep breathing can help.
In a quiet room, visiulization is very relaxing but, It's not easy to apply this to everyday life when your freaking out in the middle of walmart with 20,000 people walking past you a 5 year old asking if he can have something every 5 seconds you can't really sit/get into a medidiative state. But maybe one day I can tinker with it and get it to my specifications. I will let you know at a later date!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-18-2003
Tue, 08-23-2005 - 9:24am
I can relate so much to what you are saying. As much as I always wished I could be a sahm to Ian, I never wanted it to happen this way. I love being home with him, but I, too, feel trapped within my home. I would love to drive again & be able to go to the park or to McDonalds for lunch. He really wants friends to play with and there are no neighborhood toddlers. I find that I am doing alot better now that I avoid the big stores like Walmart. Even walking through their parking lot is overwhelming! I go to the smaller stores, like CVS whenever possible. I also shop at a very small neighborhood grocery store. It costs more, but I can do it with being overwhelmed, so it's a small price to pay. I went to Walmart optical on Saturday & that was fine, but I didn't go into the main store at all. Talk to your group leader about applying what you are learning in settings like shopping, maybe someone can give you some tips? That sounds like a great group. I'd sign up for one if there was one locally!
Sheri Ann

Sheri Ann

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-22-2005
Tue, 08-23-2005 - 11:53am
The best thing they say for shopping is just deep breathing and if possible not to avoid the "fight or flight". Which isn't always avoidable of course. But if I keep learning pointers I will try my best to pass them on for sure.
If I can help someone on here with panics. I will try my best seeing Ive struggled with them this bad for the past 4 years. At one point they was worse, still bad now. But I do try to get out. I found going to walmart late at night seems to help but again I don't know anyones situations so I don't know if you have someone to go with you late at night on a walmart trip. I find myself staring at the floor or talking to the kids to occupy my mind so I don't notice other people. Sometimes it works sometimes it dosen't.
My 5 year old is a hyper little butthead so he keeps me on my toes. Which again can bring more embarassment in public *sighs heavily*.
But I know how you feel with not being able to send your child outside. Everytime Nick goes outside something goes wrong. Last week I let him go out, and there was 6 kids at my backdoor this girl said he hit her and Nick's friend said that she was just lying. Finally I had to tell the girl who's 8!!! and Nickolas is only 5 to stay away from each other...
So I sent them all outside finally and peeked out my back window the girl was chasing my son around and squeezing ketchup in his hair!!!!
GRR.
Finally when I get some kind of break from the little monster HAHAHAHA... It has to be messed up. I can't wait to move.. I can't stand this place but it's all I can afford on the limited income. Sucks.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-02-2003
Tue, 08-23-2005 - 8:17pm
Hello and welcome, glad you found this board there are very compassionate people here. I'm sure we can learn from you and you from us. I have experienced everything that you have said, so I know as well as other exactly what you are talking about. You might consider chat, that is a very good forum for people to talk and really get to know one another. Again welcome. Debbie

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Wed, 08-24-2005 - 11:29pm
Welcome from me too Stooh!!

Blessings, Suz   Posts in this Community   

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2004
Thu, 08-25-2005 - 12:18am
Hi, Stooh! From me too! My name is Shasta, and I have all the same issues. I quit my job after 13+ years, due to p/a, and after soon became agoraphobic. It is a daily battle for me to try to conquer the agoraphobia, but I try to do better every day. So believe me, I understand where you are coming from! Wow! Sounds like you have your hands full with 2 little guys! I hope you feel at home here. This is a very wonderful group, and there are lots of really nice friends to be made! Welcome!
hugs, shasta