ok, proud, but really nervous

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-29-2003
ok, proud, but really nervous
11
Mon, 08-22-2005 - 8:58am

Hi there,

Just following up. MY girlfriend finally called me back and we are getting together on Wednesday. I don't want to analize it. If she didn't want to be with me or get our kids together, she wouldn't have called.

Also, another friend, Rachel, got upset with me last night for something I said. She misconstrude the comment, and took it the wrong way. I was so nervous and scared when she was confronting me about it, but I held my ground, apologized for hurting her feelings, but said there was no malice to the comment I made. Now I need to let it go, but I can't. I keep ruminating about it, and I am so scared that she is mad at me and that she will not want to be my friend. I know, i am catastrophizing it. ITS NOT REAL. What's done is done, I handled it like an adult, and now it's her problem if she is still mad. Right? Please. SOmebody tell me life is not this hard.

Love and hugs. Jolie

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-18-2003
Mon, 08-22-2005 - 9:12am

I think you are doing what I often do - over analyzing everything. I think that causes alot of my anxiety - the "what if's", the things I cannot change. You apologized to Rachel, it sounds like a misundertanding in her interpretation, I don't think she would want to end your friendship. Sometimes I feel like I worry so much about everyone else, what they think, what they are feeling yet I don't worry about ME and that's not so good. I'm glad you're getting together your friend for a playdate. It sounds like fun, let us know how it goes!

Sheri Ann

Sheri Ann

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2004
Mon, 08-22-2005 - 9:43am

oh my gosh, once again i am so glad i came across this board. I am an over-analyzer as well. I do the same thing. I go over and over conversations in my head that i have had with people. I once ran into some old schoolmates and a friend's picnic and we had a great time. When I got home, I analyzed those conversations to death. I stayed up all night in a panic wondering what would have happened if i said something different. I wondered how they really thought of me.. etc. and you know what? those people probably didn't think twice about it. The same thing with your situation. The other person has probably not thought about it since. I would let it go... relax and enjoy the fact that you have girlfriends to spend time with!! lots of mothers don't! if she is still mad, she will let you know. And if you are really upset, next time you see her, ask if she is still mad. Apologize again. and then let it go. I am sure all is fine.

kel

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
Mon, 08-22-2005 - 10:23am

Welcome to the *overanalyzers club* AKA the *what iffers.* LOL I am so guilty of doing this. It can be exhausting. Someone mentioned a couple weeks ago that they were advised to picture a stop sign in their minds. That seems like a great idea. @ some point we do have to put this type of thinking to bed. It isn't good for us. I use the mental diversions to get myself sidetracked. I make lists or name the 50 states or read, write, whatever it takes. We create these monsters in our minds, when the fact is, ppl are NOT thinking about us @ all. That's a product of our worry, too.


Good luck with your playdate. (((hugs))) jan



 

 


 



iVillage Member
Registered: 01-17-2001
Mon, 08-22-2005 - 1:49pm

Jan,


I have to laugh.... It was my tdoc who suggested the stop sign thing. It REALLY does work but at the time i told her that I would never tell anyone that because they would think that I am even more crazy..LOL:


She is a great tdoc!!!!

Image hosted by Photobucket.com
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-16-2005
Mon, 08-22-2005 - 10:33pm

the stop sign is a awesome idea and not crazy at all.nothings crazy when it comes to stopping anxiety.heck i want a stop sign for my wall now.lol

 

Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-17-2001
Mon, 08-22-2005 - 10:44pm

LOL OmG that is too funny! All the stop signs around out towns are going to go missing...LOL


iVillage Member
Registered: 05-16-2005
Mon, 08-22-2005 - 11:02pm

omg i can picture me now out trying to shimmy a stop sign from the ground,dragging it back down the road....finding humor in all this is very good for us.have a good week heather.

 

Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-17-2001
Mon, 08-22-2005 - 11:15pm

LOL You just made me crack up, so much so that I told dh what i was laughing about... He just doesn't get it..LOL


I will hopefully (fingers crossed) have a good week.I am

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Tue, 08-23-2005 - 12:50am
Ok Jolie, I'm putting my hands on your shoulders and looking you straight in the eyes; do you know who you are?

Blessings, Suz   Posts in this Community   

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-29-2003
Tue, 08-23-2005 - 9:41am
Thank you for the tough love. I don't think i know who I am. I know who I want to be, but I just envy everyone around me. Everyone is prettier, stronger, better mom, etc. I am so lonely, and I feel like I am battling this all by myself. My husband has no tolerance to it, and he is all consumed with work. The anxiety is overwhelming at times, and yes, I agree that I give WAY too much power to other people. You are right. There are good and bad days, and I try..I really do...to get through them. Thank you for reading and taking time to respond. I truly appreciate it. Love, Jolie

Pages