Anxiety attack?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-2005
Anxiety attack?
7
Mon, 08-29-2005 - 2:34pm

I think I just had an anxiety attack about my house closing on Wednesday. No weird heartbeat, but lots of crying and out-of-control feeling. I finally just handed it all over to Alex, who is dealing with it.

It's complicated, but basically my mortgage lady lies, and now we would have to bring more to the table than I thought. Guess what else happened--she sent an estimate to the wrong address (the address to where we'd be moving), so we never got the paperwork. I kept calling and calling and calling, and of course just now I ask for the final numbers (stupid of me, I know). It's a lot more than I had thought. We have the money, but it'd deplete our savings account. Alex just spoke with her, since I got really choked up while talking to her. See, we thought she'd said we could roll our closing costs into the mortgage. She's all, "Ohhh no, you never roll that into the purchase price." Then she told Alex, "That's with a 103% loan." We have a different type of loan. She made it sound otherwise when we met with her. Of course, now I threw out the notes she had written (stupid again--though I kept the official papers).

It's so bad that we're considering not going through with this and just staying here. I'm just sick about it because now this house seems to be such a hassle. I'm almost 28 weeks pregnant, haven't worked as much as I should've, and I don't know if it's worth it. I'm pretty sure we'd owe something if we didn't close, though.

Now she is working the numbers to see if the interest rate is increased, could we lower our closing costs. That would increase our monthly payment. I'd like to ask for more money from my father (he loaned us the down payment), and I can because I never asked for the full amount, but even that would take a week to get.

I swear to God, I am persistent and follow up, and somehow I manage to get something wrong. I should've known my laziness and fatigue today (was watching too much hurricane stuff last night) was a foreshadowing to all of this.

Thank you for allowing me to vent. I don't even want to face this woman, but unfortunately I'll have to see her on closing day. I'd much prefer hiding under my bed.

Kendra

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2004
Mon, 08-29-2005 - 5:31pm

Awww,Kendra-I am so sorry you are having to deal with this, and this horrible lady.
That is good Alex is taking over, because you don't need the stress with Mia coming.
You need to take care of yourself.

That is weird tho that they aren't allowing you to put the closing costs in with the purchase price of the home. Usually the bank wants you to do that (more interest income for them) But maybe that varies by who you go through and from state to state.
The only thing I know of,that you might lose, should you decide to bail out,is your earnest money. But maybe someone else will chime in that knows more about real estate, than I do.
But if you did ask your dad for the money, you could always have his bank wire it from his bank to yours, and that should only take a day or so. (At least it does here in Oregon) If you are going to escrow for the closing you probably won't even see that lady. I hope you don't have to talk to her anymore, and that Alex will take care of this for you. Buying a house is really stressful, so please take care of you and little Mia.
I am here, if you need anything,k? Sending you P&PT's!
love, shasta

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-2005
Mon, 08-29-2005 - 5:41pm

Thanks. :) I've been hooked on the computer most of today. How useless, right?

Well, we decided to bite the bullet and go with the original amount. Otherwise, we learned, our payments would increase by $60. She did some weird thing with points to reduce our closing costs.

I'll probably see her on closing day, unfortunately. I'm not even excited about this anymore. Now I get to call my father for more money, which won't arrive for at least a week because it's from his 401(k) (he's pretty well off in that regard and has assured me before it's not a big deal). We're just a bit more strapped now. I have a lot of shame and guilt and other fun things. Here I am being unmotivated anyway, then this happens. Alex is positive she told him what the costs would be at the table, but because I threw out the notes she'd written, verbal wouldn't hold up.

Anyway, I e-mailed her to ask for confirmation of the exact original number we'd need to bring to the table, and I haven't heard anything. She is horrible at returning phone calls, and I don't want to talk to her anyway b/c I am embarassed that I got choked up with her on the phone.

I don't think I had an anxiety attack. I felt a bit out of control, but I wasn't dizzy or anything--just crying and telling Alex I didn't want to do this anymore, that it was too much. It was kind of uncontrollable, so maybe it was?

I want to move back to Florida now. This is too much.

Thanks again. Holler if you're up late tonight and want to chat. Like I said, I've been around pretty much all day.

Love,
Kendra

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2003
Mon, 08-29-2005 - 7:13pm
Oh Kendra I am so sorry!
Photobuck
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-2005
Mon, 08-29-2005 - 7:30pm

Thanks, Yavonne. Right now I just want to run away from it all. Of course, my burgeoning belly can't quite handle such a sprint! :)

Kendra

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-18-2003
Mon, 08-29-2005 - 9:11pm

Kendra, I can imagine how hard this is for you. I think it's hormonal, not anxiety, that's how I was, anyways, when I was pregnant. I thought you could put the closing costs in the mortgage. I know when I bought my house I only paid $42 out of pocket. The rest was financed. I, also, had problems with the mortgate company - they gave me all the wrong figures and when I found out the true payment the day before closing I just wanted to bail! It worked out for us, thankfully. Once you are in your new home, I am sure you will feel better. Sorry it had to be such a rough roade getting there.

Sheri Ann

Sheri Ann

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
Mon, 08-29-2005 - 11:49pm
(((Kendra))) This is a tough one, but I am confident you can get through it. I have to agree with Sheri Ann. Probably you're stressed out & the hormones are running high. If that woman has a whit of sense, she'll never mention your crying. Surely she's got some sensitivity towards pg women. Hope you feel better soon. (((hugs))) jan



 

 


 



iVillage Member
Registered: 01-17-2001
Tue, 08-30-2005 - 4:15am

Kendra,


I am sorry to hear that things aren't going great.


We moved when I was 5 mos pregnant and it was so hard to sell and buy a house. I was already big as a house w/ twins and the stress was awful. All I did was sleep, dh did the rest. In fact he unpacked EVERYTHING when we moved here. I was so stressed and tired that I just slept mt pregnancy away..


Could you find some time for yourself, maybe get a message. They have specialized ones for pregnant women... maybe that would help a bit to take away some of the stress.