need to vent

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-29-2003
need to vent
4
Thu, 09-08-2005 - 3:14pm

Hi everyone,

I am writing because I am feeling a bit nervous and somewhat "blue" today. I can't sit still and I am just not focused. School started for my son this week, and I am worried that he may not be happy. Truth is, I am probably projecting my insecurities onto him. I am also feeling my usual "left out" stuff. A bunch of girls are taking a class together with their girls, and obviously, I was not included. It is a dance class for little girls. I know in reality that it's no big deal, and I shouldn' t care, but I feel left out. Do you think my 5 year old gives a crap? Nope. I just see the moms huddling and making lunch plans and I just feel excluded. I know...It's my mind playing tricks on me. My son has a playdate over right now and is having a great time. I know...I need to worry about myself and my own family. NOt everyone else. I just feel so lonely. My husband is never home and works constantly. 7 days a week. LITERALLY. I have a very demanding 18 month old and a vivacious 5 year old. I'm just tired.

Thank you for letting me vent.

Avatar for atober
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2004
In reply to: jlvst
Thu, 09-08-2005 - 3:22pm

"I am writing because I am feeling a bit nervous and somewhat "blue" today. I can't sit still and I am just not focused."

I am feeling that same way. I sometimes worry about projecting my insecurities onto my DD. I also can feel very alone even when I physically am not. I feel that way at work and at home sometimes.

Just wanted to let you know you are not alone in feeling this way.

Alison

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-29-2003
In reply to: jlvst
Thu, 09-08-2005 - 4:14pm
Thanks. It makes me feel human to know I am not alone.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-12-2003
In reply to: jlvst
Thu, 09-08-2005 - 4:52pm

Im sorry you feel so crappy today :( I can totally relate...last night i couldn't fall asleep until 4m because i was so jittery and restless.


as for the feeling of being left out, that's something i think most of us have experienced as well. it's such an unpleasant feeling and it can really consume your thoughts. I had times in college that i felt like such an outsider that i didn't even want to go to claass. I found that those thoughts really prevented me from experiencing so many of the things that college life had to offer. the only advice i have to offer you is everytime you have these thoughts take a step back and look at yourself from an outsider perspective. Try to rationalize and remind yourself that you are a good person and that people want to be around you. you can treat those thoughts the same way you treat anxiety. everytime you start thinking this way picture a stop sign and yell at yourself to stop. tap into your non-anxious side and use that to think.


anyway, i hope that makes sense...as i said i didn't get much sleep last night :P


hope you're feeling better :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-29-2003
In reply to: jlvst
Thu, 09-08-2005 - 8:32pm

Thank you so much for your reply. I really appreciate it. I do try those things you are talking about, however, sometimes the anxiety takes over. Thanks for reading.

Jolie