need to vent
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| Thu, 09-08-2005 - 3:14pm |
Hi everyone,
I am writing because I am feeling a bit nervous and somewhat "blue" today. I can't sit still and I am just not focused. School started for my son this week, and I am worried that he may not be happy. Truth is, I am probably projecting my insecurities onto him. I am also feeling my usual "left out" stuff. A bunch of girls are taking a class together with their girls, and obviously, I was not included. It is a dance class for little girls. I know in reality that it's no big deal, and I shouldn' t care, but I feel left out. Do you think my 5 year old gives a crap? Nope. I just see the moms huddling and making lunch plans and I just feel excluded. I know...It's my mind playing tricks on me. My son has a playdate over right now and is having a great time. I know...I need to worry about myself and my own family. NOt everyone else. I just feel so lonely. My husband is never home and works constantly. 7 days a week. LITERALLY. I have a very demanding 18 month old and a vivacious 5 year old. I'm just tired.
Thank you for letting me vent.

"I am writing because I am feeling a bit nervous and somewhat "blue" today. I can't sit still and I am just not focused."
I am feeling that same way. I sometimes worry about projecting my insecurities onto my DD. I also can feel very alone even when I physically am not. I feel that way at work and at home sometimes.
Just wanted to let you know you are not alone in feeling this way.
Alison
Im sorry you feel so crappy today :( I can totally relate...last night i couldn't fall asleep until 4m because i was so jittery and restless.
as for the feeling of being left out, that's something i think most of us have experienced as well. it's such an unpleasant feeling and it can really consume your thoughts. I had times in college that i felt like such an outsider that i didn't even want to go to claass. I found that those thoughts really prevented me from experiencing so many of the things that college life had to offer. the only advice i have to offer you is everytime you have these thoughts take a step back and look at yourself from an outsider perspective. Try to rationalize and remind yourself that you are a good person and that people want to be around you. you can treat those thoughts the same way you treat anxiety. everytime you start thinking this way picture a stop sign and yell at yourself to stop. tap into your non-anxious side and use that to think.
anyway, i hope that makes sense...as i said i didn't get much sleep last night :P
hope you're feeling better :)
Thank you so much for your reply. I really appreciate it. I do try those things you are talking about, however, sometimes the anxiety takes over. Thanks for reading.
Jolie