social issues??

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-08-2005
social issues??
1
Fri, 09-16-2005 - 12:56am

I believe i have somewhat of a people phobia if thats even possible. i can be genuinely friendly towards people but i would prefer being alone. ive been with my love for 3 years, very serious and steady and we want a future together, though i have never told him this i feel somewhat dependant on him to be a stay home wife in the future with alitte part time job just to keep somewhat active. im not even sure if its possible to be people phobic but i really am not a people person also when im around alot of people i feel claustrophobic and i get this really horrible feeling in my body i always get the urge to leave(which sometimes i do). it is so hard for me to find a job just bc of it. i cant work in big companies where there is a lot of people, it always has to be a small company (like a small clinic) and schools as well. im picky towards the kind of job it is also and i cant work with alot of men most of them make me feel uncomfortable.

My dream is to own a business from home, i dont want to deal with these feelings anymore which has been there for years. i have been unemployed for about 2-3 months and i have to get back in the work force soon and the anxiety is building up. I want a job that will make me happy; few coworkers, not that many clients that i have to see, hardly no men, pays decent, and is something that i might like to do.nobody understands me they all think that im lazy (which is not the case). ive wanted to talk to a therapists but i cant/dont want to pay for it.i dont think it is necessarily normal to feel the way i do i dont just get butterflies its hard to describe the feelings, i also get depressed on top of it if im miserable i feel everything goes down hill so its kind of disappointing that im like this. if anyone has been in this situation or has any comments i would love to hear from you. thank you

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
In reply to: cr001985
Fri, 09-16-2005 - 8:26am

Hi! Nice to have you in our caring community. You are not alone. There are others who have posted here with similiar feelings. We aren't able to diagnose, as that would be up to a health care professional. As for seeking help, I would suggest that if you want to work on this issue, that would be the first order of business. However, you need some motivation to do that. It's not possible for me to do that for you. You need to *want* to change. In my experience, when you can't stand your feelings anymore, then you will have that motivation.


You have set alot of limits on yourself & what kind of job you will accept. This sure makes it difficult to find one. I wish you success in your job search. I am sorry that others consider you lazy. I think many of us can relate to that, because we have experienced people's misperception of our anxiety. If we could change things, if it was easy to do, we would do it. But, anxiety places some barriers around us & when we really want to break down those barriers, many have found that meds & cognitive behavioral therapy helped the most.


I think that sharing your feelings with your partner is a must. Moving forward in a relationship depends on trust & setting mutual goals. It doesn't seem quite fair to have all these plans for yourself & not share what you expect out of life with the one you love.


Here's a link to tons of info on anxiety disorders. I hope you find it helpful. http://health.ivillage.com/mentalhealth/mhanxiety/topics/0,,4vcj,00.html