Back Again - My Dog
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| Tue, 09-20-2005 - 12:31pm |
Hello. I have not posted in a while. Those you remember me know that I normally have anxiety due to no specific trigger. I just get the weird feeling and the effects from it. I have a big fear of medical illness, esp cancer.
I have been doing well for a while now on Zoloft. Very little anxiety. Until now. Unfortunately, I have a reason this time, not just the normal mystery. It is no doubt back due to my dog.
Growing up, I never could have a dog because we lived in an apartment. I wanted one so bad. My Dad would sneak in strays sometimes just so I could pretend I had a dog. Family members had dogs but I never had one of my own at my own family's apartment. Later in life, I met my husband and the day he and I signed for our house purchase, I went out and found her, a 4 month old lab named Betsy. I fell in love with her right away. I snuck her into the apartment for a month until we moved to the new house. We got real close, real fast. Here we are with her being 7.5 years old now. She has been in good health. A few months ago we noticed a growth on her chest. It looked fleshy colored and pinkish but was perfectly round and did not seem to bother her. She sees the vet yearly in Oct or Nov so we figured we would have it looked at then just to be safe. Well, something suddenly got me scared to death about it out of the blue 2 weeks ago. It was a normal day, nothing much happening and I suddenly got really scared and called the vet that evening and said I needed to get her in right away if possible. They set up an appt for the next morning. That was a Friday. Here is the odd thing - I have to back up the story a bit here - there is also a lump on her side that has been there for almost a year and that is the thing I was most concerned about, not the skin growth on her chest, although both scare me. So, I went to the vet primarily to get the thing on her side checked. So I go to the vet that Friday and the vet feels that thing on her side and says it looks just like a fatty lipoma, not cancerous. She does a biopsy and finds it is nothing. So, I am feeling much better. Then I show her the skin growth. My dog had been messing with it over the last few weeks so it was all red and a little ulcerated looking. The vet did not like it and said it had to come off and be tested. So, I set up surgery for the next Wed, she has it done, and the vet went extra wide to get more skin to be safe but did not have to go deep. Betsy is recovering fine.
Then yesterday I get the call from the vet with lab results. It is cancer. A mast cell tumor. The lab report says it had clean margins and her bloodwork looks good. But, mast cell tumors are very unpredictable. They can go into the lymph system and internal organs or simply come back on the skin. Her grade was a 2, 3 being worst, 1 being best. So, there are options to consider now. Another surgery that goes very deep and very wide and even involves drain tubes. Radiation. Chemo. Do nothing and hope that it was all taken. Or, do nothing surgically but put her on prednisone for 6 months which acts as chemo in dogs.
I have done tons of research and talked to many people. We take her back Friday to have stitches removed and to have a lymph node exam.
I am just a mess. I am having nightmares, my heart starts pounding, my chest is hurting a lot, I feel sick, not wanting to eat hardly. And I am not sleeping well. I can be doing something and BAM it hits me again. I just feel awful. I am trying to be positive, but it just does not seem to work sometimes. I feel so uneasy. She is acting fine, has been all along, she is eating good, drinking a lot of water, seems to have normal energy, seems to be happy. I am so glad she does not know what is going on like I do.
Thanks for listening.
Kim

I am sorry to hear of all the trouble you are having with your pet. We have had many pets over the years and the loss of a pet is tremendous to those of us who consider them family. I hope that everything turns out fine with your dog. In the meantime, maybe you should see your dr for some additional meds just in the temporariliy to keep you healthy.
I wish I had more advice but believe me I know what it's like to have a sick dog, and have to make these kinds of decisions.
P&PTs to you.
Alison
That's a shame, Kim. I am very sorry to hear about your dog's diagnosis. As a pet owner, I can understand completely. I have many furbabies I hope to meet @ the Rainbow Bridge someday. With their short life spans, we have to face that possibility.
Trust your vet to help you choose the best treatment plan for Betsy. Then, you must choose a plan for yourself. You know what works for you & your anxiety. It isn't easy for any of us to have a setback, but it happens. You will manage. You will get through this, as before. If you need extra help, then see your dr. Post here for support as often as you need to. That's why this board exists. Good luck & GBU! (((hugs))) jan
oh Kim, im so sorry to hear about your dog :( I can only imagine how upset you are feeling! I am also really close to my dog, and I know I would be going through the same thing you are right now.
My only advice to you right now is try not to think of the catastrophic thoughts. you dog may recover from this afterall. and If she doesn't she had a good life, and great owners that loved her. She was a good companion and confidant. meanwhile try to relax, do you have any medication like klonopin or xanax?
I'll be thinking of you and your dog and hoping everything turns out alright. please keep us updated on her progress. btw, if it makes you feel better i just heard from a friend of mine who i haven't talked to in years and he told me his dog recently recovered from cancer and that she's back to her old self again. so a full recovery is possible, you just need to stay positive for you and for her.
My heart truly goes out to you, and your pupper, Betsy.
My animals are like my kids, so I totally understand your emotions, as can a lot of people here on the board.
Please know my prayers and thoughts are with you.
I hope you will keep us posted on how she is feeling, and how you are feeling too!
We care about you, and I hope to hear from you very soon.
Sending you and Betsy a BIG HUG and lots of prayers too.
love,
shasta
Thank you much for your concern and thoughts. I appreciate that. I am very happy and thankful to say that additional tests were done and all results are pointing to the fact that we caught it in time and that it had not entered her lymphatic system or internal organs, and did not spread on her skin further. We are very pleased. She is still acting totally normal and is all healed up from the surgery. I am so very happy.
Thanks again.
I have some Xanax but did not end up taking it. I am on Zoloft so that helps some.
I am very happy and thankful to say that additional tests were done and all results are pointing to the fact that we caught it in time and that it had not entered her lymphatic system or internal organs, and did not spread on her skin further. We are very pleased. She is still acting totally normal and is all healed up from the surgery. I am so very happy.
I did try what you said about thinking positive and not thinking catastrophically. That is something I wish I could do more often. I keep telling myself that worry serves no purpose. If something bad is going to happen, then it will happen whether I worry or not. That is something I have been trying to live by and it does not work too often, but I keep it in my mind in case it ever does work :)
Thanks again.
Hi Jan.
I am very happy and thankful to say that additional tests were done and all results are pointing to the fact that we caught it in time and that it had not entered her lymphatic system or internal organs, and did not spread on her skin further. We are very pleased. She is still acting totally normal and is all healed up from the surgery. I am so very happy.
Thanks again for your support. I think my anxiety is ok. It is that time of the month now, so I always feel a bit uneasy and try to remind myself that it is just my PMS aggravating things, and that this does not mean the anxiety is coming back.
I have some Xanax but did not end up taking it. I am on Zoloft so that helps some. I did not end up seeing my doc.
I am very happy and thankful to say that additional tests were done and all results are pointing to the fact that we caught it in time and that it had not entered her lymphatic system or internal organs, and did not spread on her skin further. We are very pleased. She is still acting totally normal and is all healed up from the surgery. I am so very happy. I did not want to have to face losing her. I know I will some day, but I am just glad it is not now.
Thanks for your support.