Anxious about my future and need help...

Avatar for greta2863
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Anxious about my future and need help...
8
Tue, 10-04-2005 - 4:31pm

Hi,

I have been on Prozac for about 10 yrs. now and I feel like it isn't working very well anymore. When I first took it, I was in a very dark place. I could barely function, couldn't work or do much of anything. But for the past few years now, I have been really confused on where I want to go in life. Mainly with my career. I have done some destructive things to myself...mainly getting jobs and quitting them..because I have no idea??? Now, I have my own apartment, I am single, and the only one that is going to make the money is me. I am only working 8 hrs. a week now and I desperately need a full time job. I have a bachelor degree in teaching and part of me wants to go back and try to be a teacher again. I was thinking of being a substitute teacher, but on top of that I am going to have to get another job with benefits because in subbing you don't get any benefits. I know it is a good way to get your foot in the door. But I am AFRAID....I have much FEAR...of success and failure. I did teach years ago. I am fairly young (34),,, and I know if I just take some risks in my life, I will be much happier. But this depression and OCD (I was diagnosed with that too.), is always in the back of my head. I feel like I am not good enough and can't do many things, which I know deep down inside I can. How does a person get over this? I totally blame myself for my condition. I do have a psychiatrist, but no therapist. I need to find a therapist also, I think. I wish someone could help and steer me in the right direction. I just want to be happy. Too many years have been wasted on unhappiness in my life.

Thanks,
Greta

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-17-2001
Tue, 10-04-2005 - 4:54pm

Greta,


You have been suffering with this far too long. I wonder what your pdoc has to say about this? I know that any anxiety is too much for my pdoc.. his goal is to have me anxiety free and he'll do anything to accomplish that.


The fear is also what has been holding me back.. I fear different things then you but I am quite aware of how those thoughts can take over.


Subbing sounds like a good idea.. coould you possibly get a 2nd job and pay for insurance rather then having to work a full time job to get them...KWIM? Maybe that way it could work..


Please take care and join us in chat.. tues and thurs. 9pm ET


iVillage Member
Registered: 04-18-2003
Tue, 10-04-2005 - 6:39pm

Greta, you are not alone. Fear is my biggest problem right now, also. Come to chat tonight, maybe we can all cheer each other up & come up with some ideas! Getting a therapist is a good idea, I'm so thankful I have one. I don't know what I'd do without him, lol.

Sheri Ann

Sheri Ann

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2005
Tue, 10-04-2005 - 8:39pm

Greta, if you're looking for some great support and an occasional gentle shove you've come to the right place. These ladies are wonderful and have helped me tremendously. I agree with Heather and Sheri Ann finding a therapist would be a good idea. Since you seem like you might be abit financially stressed right now you might look into a place that offers a sliding scale, most large towns and alot of small towns offer such services. Starting out as a substitute teacher would be a great idea to get your self back in the swing of things. Know you're not alone we all seem to suffer from alot of the same type of situations you are going through.

Keitha

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
Tue, 10-04-2005 - 8:59pm

Nice to have you in our community, Greta! You are NOT alone. I can see that you have put alot of pressure on yourself. You want to make an independent life, switching careers with a big change in salary, benefits, etc. That may bring you happiness. But, it's temporarily stressing you out & contributing to a setback. I applaud your efforts. Maybe you should seek some counseling from a career or life coach. I think these folks specialize in advising ppl like yourself to make the changes you need @ a rate that you can handle. Going back to teaching is certainly an option, but perhaps someone advising you has other ideas. They may be able to see another path that will

 

 


 



iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Wed, 10-05-2005 - 12:09am

Hi Greta!!

Blessings, Suz   Posts in this Community   

Avatar for greta2863
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 10-05-2005 - 12:24am

Suz,

Thanks for your reply. It is a long story why I left teaching. Basically a huge mistake..I would rather not get into it. I have continued my schooling and have my license in teaching elementary until 2010. So I am good on that. I would NEVER let my license lapse and not renew. I worked hard to get that degree.

Thanks,
Greta

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2004
Wed, 10-05-2005 - 12:37am
Hi Greta, My name is Shasta, and I just wanted to say WELCOME!
I can't add anymore than what all the wonderful gals have already said in their posts to you, but just want you to know we care, and hope you will post again soon.
You should be very proud of your teaching degree, what an accomplishment!
That is awesome!
Hang in there, and post anytime!
hugs, shasta
Avatar for greta2863
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 10-05-2005 - 12:46am

Shasta,

Thank you very much for the kind reply. Yes, there are many wonderful gals here on this message board. I know I accomplished a great deal in college and getting my degree. I just wish I could accomplish getting over this unhealthy behavior and start living again...and hopefully happily.

Thanks again,
Greta