help me with my anxiety
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help me with my anxiety
| Thu, 10-13-2005 - 2:17pm |
i just got married i love my husband very much but i am just afraid of the marriage itself. my heart races and i get all sweaty when i think that i dont want to be married but when im with him i am happy when we are having fun but when im away i feel this i think it is just being afraid of the whole marriage concept about leaving home and starting a life with someone. please help me. melanie.

Hello, Melanie! It's nice to have you in our community. Congrats on your recent marriage.
A racing heart & sweating are certainly symptoms of anxiety. They could also be signs of medical illness. I suggest you err on the side of caution & see your dr. for a good check up. Don't be embarrassed to share your feelings honestly. Your dr. is trained to identify illness & has dealt with these issues before. We aren't professionals so a diagnosis from us isn't possible. If you do have anxiety issues, perhaps the dr. will suggest that you consider counseling or meds. Maybe you have your own ideas on how you would like to approach your anxiety. Some folks want to rely on learning new ways to cope & natural approaches. We will support you no matter what route you choose.
Please save us to your favorites. Our board can be your new home:) Our folks are known for sharing their experiences & coping methods. We care & want you to feel better. We want your marriage to succeed. A big change in our lives can bring on anxieties. You are not alone. Post anytime. Join us in chat. (There is one this evening.) You are very welcome here. Good luck & GBU! (((hugs))) jan
a new marriage I would guess is pretty common!
Remember this however, you love this man and have spent
time with him and enjoy him. None of this has changed!
The thoughts of spending the rest of your life with someone
is sometimes very overwhelming!!! Try to take it a day at a time!!
It is a MAJOR adjustment!!
I felt this 35 years ago when I married my dear hubby!
We have had our ups and downs but mostly UPS!!!
Try and enjoy this and let the worry GO!!
I wish you much happiness- Judy
Hi Melanie, and WELCOME!
I would like to 'echo' what Jan & Judy posted to you.
Please know you are not alone in the feelings you are having, I hope you will speak with your doctor, I am sure your doc can give you some ideas on what is happening in your situation and how to cope.
And CONGRATULATIONS on your marriage! I agree it is scary leaving home, and starting a life with someone, but it is also a really exciting time.
It is really a special time for you both, and I hope you enjoy this wonderful time in your lives together.
Please post again soon, and let us know how you are doing & feeling,k?
hugs!
shasta
Hi Melanie,
I am wondering if this is your 1st bout with anxiety? What I am trying to establish if this is just newlywed anxiety which is common or something more.
PLease take care!!!
I felt the wedding jitters shortly before my own wedding seven years ago. I understand you're saying since has happened since you've gotten married. Honestly, I think it's normal, and I think you're adjusting to the uniqueness of marriage. I would suggest you keep the lines of communication open, and don't shame yourself for feeling what you feel. The first year of a marriage is often challenging. The key is to work as a team and don't stop talking.
I hope you'll post again, and I do hope you feel better soon.
Kendra
Hi there. I think I can relate to what you are saying. I am 29 and met my husband 8 years ago. We got engaged within a few months back in 1998. Suddenly, I freaked and could not get married. I loved him a ton and had lots of fun with him, but anytime I was away from him, I would start freaking out about the marriage idea. It was very hard to explain to him and others. I felt bad but had to hold off until I knew I was ready. Then, in 2003, I realized I was ready. We eloped in Colorado and when I was getting ready to leave for the airport I freaked again. It was very scary. I kept thinking "why am I so scared of this" and stuff like that. I knew I loved him and wanted to be with him. We even lived together for several years already. But, that whole marriage thing really bothered me. I went through with it and do not regret it at all. So many people think that it is the guy that usually has cold feet or doubts but I do not believe that is always the case. Luckily, he stuck around until I felt the time was right and I do not regret waiting one bit. I did not want to be questioning myself but I can tell you that even after it happened, I felt kind of weird and would have these moments where I second guessed my decision. It finally stopped after a few months I would say. We got married in May of 2003 and I am very comfortable with it now. You are probably just feeling weird about the change itself but I think that is normal. It does not mean you do not love him, it is just a big thing to experience and that is bound to make you feel odd at times. Also, if you consider yourself an independent person like I am, then that really can make these kind of feelings stand out and seem strong at times. You might be somehow feeling like you are losing your identity, but you are not, it just might feel that way for a while at first. Be sure to keep in touch with your own friends and family, and your career or whatever you consider important to yourself and yourself alone. That will help. Build a life with your new hubby, but keep your own life too. Keeping that balance is so important and can take a while to find but you will get there.
Kim