very anxious

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-29-2003
very anxious
3
Thu, 10-27-2005 - 4:08pm

HI everyone,

Hope you are all doing well. It's been a while since my last post. I was trying to see how long I could go without depending on everyone. But, I've reached my limit. I am feeling so incredibly anxious today. I feel like I don't belong anywhere, and that I am all alone. I have incredible marital problems, and I can't discuss my anxiety with my husband. My friends (i don't think want to hear about it), and truthfully, I don' t think they really understand. They all seem so strong and confident. They all have it together, and they all have each other. I feel like the annoying friend. "Here comes Jolie again, what is her problem now?" I feel like I have been carring around an elephant in my chest all day. I can't focus, and I really feel it the most when I pick up and drop off my son at pre-school. It's not fair to him to have a mom who is axious all the time.

Tonight I am supposed to have dinner with a friend of mine. I am very nervous to go. I am not to comfortable with her, because i always think she is mad at me or doesn't like me. Obviously it's not true, or she wouldn't want to be going with me. I think I have a touch of social anxiety as well. I feel like I brought everyone together (moms at pre-school) and now I feel like they all have each other and don't need me.

I am very lonely, and I think paranoid. There is no way people waste their time talking about me. I always believe they are, and it's the worst. I wish I could go out tonight feeling excited, but I am scared. I wish I didn't feel guilty going out in the first place. I never go out.

Thank you to whomever is reading this. I really appreciate it.

hugs, JD

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-12-2003
In reply to: jlvst
Thu, 10-27-2005 - 4:16pm

JD, I have just a couple of pieces of advice... the first one is, you should never try to get through this by your self! you dont need to see how long you can go without "depending" on others, because everybody needs unconditional love and support in life. Also, nobody's life is perfect, and I know that you know that. while some people are better at hiding it and seeming like they have everything together, we all know that's not the case. So in short what im trying to say is that there is absolutely nothing wrong with asking for help! Dont test yourself like this, come ask for help and support here if you need it and don't feel comfortable turning anywhere else.


Second, as for your friends, i think the best policy is honesty. It sounds like you've already talked to them about your anxiety issues, but I would also talk to them about your social anxiety. there is no shame in it. I have had anxiety my entire life (literally since i was 7) including a touch of social anxiety, and I have lost SOOO many friends through out the years because I was too afraid to be open with them. It sounds like you have a support network, but you just need to utilize it. Dont feel like you're bugging your friends, if you reeally were they wouldn't be your friends anymore.


I hope your day improves a bit. Maybe you should consider taking a xanax or klonopin if you have those?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-29-2003
In reply to: jlvst
Thu, 10-27-2005 - 7:26pm

Thank you so much. I really appreciate your candor, and it's exactly what I needed. It's hard to talk to my friends because I have such issues about being afraid of them or bugging them, or thinking that they will leave because I am so annoying. The list goes on and on. I just wish I didn't feel this way, and that I could handle this on my own.

Thank again for your support. I truly appreciate it!

hugs, Jolie

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-12-2003
In reply to: jlvst
Thu, 10-27-2005 - 8:13pm
i totally understand Jolie :( i am constantly afraid of bugging people too. I try to take my therapist's perspective when these doubts arise. he always tells me to pay attention to my schemas, one of vulnerability (or anxiety) and the other of defectiveness (i.e. low self esteem, social anxiety, etc.) anyway, you should use this is a therapeutic exercise. try to think of different ways of conceptualization the situation. Instead of being the Jolie that is afraid of bugging her friends, try to be the Jolie that is rational and knows that her friends will be there for her no matter what. I know it's really hard, but with practice it will become second nature. good luck.