i need some help with paranoia
Find a Conversation
i need some help with paranoia
| Fri, 11-04-2005 - 2:25pm |
I feel like i'm torturing myself...
I've been going out with this great guy for a month and a half, everything is good as we've been friends for 2 years before this. The problem is that the guy i was with before cheated on me and lied during the whole relationship. I dumped him as soon as i discovered, but i was depressed for 3 months and now have a lot of trouble trusting people, including my current boyfriend. I don't think he would cheat on me, but i always think he's going to change his mind and dump me, that he doesn't really care about me that much, etc..
for example tonight we were supposed to see each other but he sent me a text message to say that he won't come because he has to study. I know he works a lot, but it's friday night, he has the whole weekend to study if he wants ! the result is that i just had an anxiety attack thinking about this, it just gets worse and worse.
I haven't told him anything because i feel stupid and i don't want to seem like this pathetic clinging girl, during our 2 years of friendship he saw i was the exact opposite and that's one of the reason he asked me to be his girlfriend. please i need some help, i really feel like i'm hurting myself for no reason.
I've been going out with this great guy for a month and a half, everything is good as we've been friends for 2 years before this. The problem is that the guy i was with before cheated on me and lied during the whole relationship. I dumped him as soon as i discovered, but i was depressed for 3 months and now have a lot of trouble trusting people, including my current boyfriend. I don't think he would cheat on me, but i always think he's going to change his mind and dump me, that he doesn't really care about me that much, etc..
for example tonight we were supposed to see each other but he sent me a text message to say that he won't come because he has to study. I know he works a lot, but it's friday night, he has the whole weekend to study if he wants ! the result is that i just had an anxiety attack thinking about this, it just gets worse and worse.
I haven't told him anything because i feel stupid and i don't want to seem like this pathetic clinging girl, during our 2 years of friendship he saw i was the exact opposite and that's one of the reason he asked me to be his girlfriend. please i need some help, i really feel like i'm hurting myself for no reason.

I am sorry to hear this.
Hi there,
First of all, you are not pathetic and you are not stupid. You really care about this guy, and ofcourse your mind is going to race. Sometimes we can not control our emotions. I don't like that he just "texted" you to say he wasn' t coming. To me, that seems a bit insensitive. Maybe you could tell him how you feel, and build the trust that way. If you have been close friends for two years, he has to know you better than you think he does. I know exactly how you feel, so you are not alone. I would probably feel the same way you do, and it is easier for me to give advice than to take it. Trust your gut. If the relationship is important enough to you, and you have a friendship above everything else, than I would talk to him. Hopefully, he is a stand up guy, and respects and cares enough about you to hear you out. GOOD LUCK.
love, JD