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| Sun, 11-27-2005 - 12:42am |
I did a little reading on the board this evening, but my responses are few. I'm in a bit of a funk and just don't have the best insight for anyone. I've had a rough few days; tears appearing at unexpected times and just a general sadness sticking around. Thanksgiving dinner was at dd's and although it was really nice to be together it was still a hard day. I'm beginning to have my emotions catch up with my intellect and I'm finding that I'm feeling the first pangs of lonelyness. And I've still got Christmas and New Years to get through!! I took the day after Thanksgiving off so I'm having a 4 day weekend. I am also taking a few Friday's off so I can have long weekends during December. I'm trying to take good care of my emotions and balance my work with my free time. I need both and I need to learn to use my free time wisely and in my best interest. My anxiety has been ok and I'm really blessed with that. I finally made it back to church last Sunday and tomorrow I read for Advent. I've stepped away from some of the church activities because I can't take all the questions and the condolances. That may sound stange to some of you, but sometimes having to talk about dh's death just is almost too much. It's still too tender.
Anyway, I did something positive for myself today. I lugged the Christmas tree upstairs and all the decorations. I have always loved Christmas season and although I had a yen to not do any decorations, I finally told myself that I really needed to get some decorations up. So the tree is standing, the lights are on and I'll put the ornaments on tomorrow. I'm not doing any lighting outside, but I did put up the two wreaths that usually hang on each side of my front door. I can't deny that there will be someone very special missing from this year's celebration, but part of my grieving will be in facing that fact and feeling the loss of his presence. Unpleasant, but avoidence never helps.
Well, I've talked enough. I hope all of you had a great Thanksgiving and you are enjoying the rest of the weekend. I'll be back soon.
Blessings,
Suz

That is good for you! I can imagine the holidays
being a hard time for you and yours! Yes it is still
very early in the loss stage for you- my good teaching
buddy lost her husband also in August. She has to force
herself to go out because of all the explaining she has
to do and listening to others trying to console her is
difficult! My prayers are with you!! Judy