Excessive worry

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2003
Excessive worry
6
Tue, 11-29-2005 - 1:12am

Ok so I am a self proclaimed worry wort. It is excessive I worry constantly. I even worry about stupid things I did in the past. It doesn't seem to matter what is going on I will find something to worry about. As you can imagine this is really counter-produtive when trying to work on my anxiety. For all those worry worts out there what helps you. What do you do to ignore all the ridiculus worrys. I feel like this is destroying my quality of life.

Thanks,
Candie

Avatar for glitterngold
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-13-2003
In reply to: candiems
Tue, 11-29-2005 - 8:32am

Candie,

This is one of my issues too. It was recommended to me that I need to put my worries into a far region of my brain. Ok so how to get these worries, thoughts, and problems into a box in your brain?? I haven't figured that out yet. My teacher could have been more helpful, but she did mention journaling. If writing them down you may realize that the worries are manageable or out of your control. I guess fix what you can and leave the rest.

I will let you know how this works for me. I am just starting this exercise today! I need all the help I can get.

Good Luck,
Lisa

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-17-2001
In reply to: candiems
Tue, 11-29-2005 - 9:32am

Hi Candie,


I also worry a lot. My therapist told me that why those intrusive thoughts come into my mind to

Avatar for cassia7
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-29-2003
In reply to: candiems
Tue, 11-29-2005 - 10:55am

Candie,

I can totally relate to everything you said. I obsessively worry about everything....especially my health. When the worrying starts creeping in, that's when I try to make myself busy. If im home, I'll get up and start cleaning or play with my kids, even pick up the phone and call someone. I too would love to hear what other's do to help them!

Cassia

Avatar for atober
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2004
In reply to: candiems
Tue, 11-29-2005 - 12:24pm

I could've written your post almost word for word. I am still trying to find a solution but try to look at the big picture and tend not to worry so much about the little things. It is a tough thing to do and like I said I am a work in progress. Good luck with working on this issue.

Hugs

Alison

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
In reply to: candiems
Tue, 11-29-2005 - 12:29pm






HTH, Candie!


The Anxiety and Stress Disorders Institute of Maryland, LLP









  • Strategies for Reducing Chronic Worry or Rumination:


  • Reframe most thoughts as “cerebral flotsam and jetsam” or “mind junk” rather than important data that must be examined carefully. Distinguish “good” and “bad” worry whenever possible. Don’t be your own worst enemy by indulging yourself in worries and by rationalizing your continuing to do so.


  • Learn to accept the presence of a worried thought without having to take it so seriously and without having to get rid of it. How do you (overtly and covertly) value and seek worry? How do you worry about worry and (overtly and covertly) try to avoid it? In other words, how do you get locked into a vicious circle of (overt and covert) approach and avoidance?


  • Try using “scheduled worry” periods. Instead of indulging your worries by giving them your full attention whenever they intrude or by trying to avoid them, set up two or three 15-20 minute periods per day when you give your worries your complete attention. When worries intrude at other times during the day, try to defer them to your next scheduled worry period.


  • Learn mindfulness meditative techniques that encourage being a passive observer of worried thoughts rather than having to be an active participant in the worrying process. For example, picture your worried thought written on a banner pulled by an airplane and watch it fly around your mind without reacting to it; or, picture your worries as bubbles that burst as they rise into your consciousness. (See Kabat-Zinn)


  • Seek cognitive therapy that focuses on common cognitive distortions that fuel worry:
    All-or-nothing thinking
    Arbitrary inferences in ambiguous situations
    Personalization of events
    “Should” statements
    Distorted estimations of probability, risk and personal responsibility


  • Examine irrational beliefs that often underpin worry, such as:
    “The world should be fair and just.”
    “I must be liked by everyone.”
    “To be worthwhile, I must be thoroughly competent & exceptional.”
    “I should be free of pain, hassle or discomfort at all times.”
    “I cannot bear it when things are not as I would like them to be.”
    “I can avoid discomfort by worrying.”


  • Strive to relinquish the need for control and certainty. The quest for both may seem irresistible and compelling at the moment, but, over time, it is entirely futile and merely perpetuates worry.


  • Try methods to dampen bodily and cognitive mobilization. However, remember that your goal is to do such things while worried thoughts still rattle around your mind, not to do such things so effectively that you somehow eliminate worried thoughts!
    Learn relaxation and diaphragmatic breathing skills.
    Practice prayer, meditation or inspirational readings.
    Take a yoga class or use a yoga videotape regularly.
    Exercise or dance.
    Get a massage.
    Listen to your favorite music.
    Cultivate humor in yourself and others; rent a funny movie.
    Always have in progress a book that you enjoy reading.
    Converse with a confidant.
    Keep a journal.
    Keep a record of irrational worries and rational rejoinders.
    Minimize stimulants; minimize alcohol.
    Use a rocking chair.
    Learn and practice good sleep hygiene.
    Contribute your time and energy to someone else.
    Make healthy relationships your priority—if not now, when?


  • Have a plan for action--not the “right plan” or the “perfect plan”--just a reasonable plan. What is the perceived threat to your vital interests? How are you vulnerable? Do you really have the facts? One can’t escape one’s own imagination or run away from what “could” happen. Arousal of the “fight or flight” response with no place to go leads to “freeze” (i.e., inhibition of action). Once you have a plan, don’t keep checking on it—store it. In general, some kind of action is usually preferable to spinning your wheels. Likewise, some kind of large muscle activity is usually better than thinking even more.


  • Learn to take a mindful approach to moment-to-moment living.
    1. Stay in the here-and-now instead of “catastrophizing” and “what-ifing” about what could happen. (Try focusing on your senses and surroundings more than your thoughts.)
    2. Stay in the here-and-now instead of dwelling on the past. (Ruminating about the past tends to evoke and perpetuate a depressed mood).
    3. Temper an aversive here-and-now by “putting yourself into” something positive remembered in your past or envisioned in your future. (Do so not to get rid of worry, but to put it into better perspective.)


  • Ask yourself these questions when you’re stuck in worry mode:
    “What’s the evidence?”
    “Am I trying to control things that I can’t possibly control?”
    “Am I overestimating the risk the way I usually do?”
    “Will this even matter to me next year, next month or next week?”
    “On my death bed, will I regret not having worried more about this?”


  • Notice the mistakes you tolerate or excuse in others and give yourself the same latitude. Do not rationalize your perfectionism as a virtue. Instead of perfection, give yourself permission to strive for consistent adequacy punctuated by occasional mistakes.


  • Look for what is good in your life:
    “Just imagine how happy you’d be if you lost everything you have right now… and then got it all back.” (Bertrand Russell)


  • Try to see your worry as one small data point in the larger continuum of your life or as one small wave in the ocean of humanity:
    “That ain’t but a zit on the face of time.” (Unknown)

    Further Reading:
    Worries, Rumination and Obsessions

    Baer, L. The Imp of the Mind: Exploring the Silent Epidemic of Obsessive Bad Thoughts. New York: Dutton, 2001.

    Burns, D. The Feeling Good Handbook. New York: Plume, 1999.

    Foa, E. & Wilson, R. Stop Obsessing: How to Overcome Your Obsessions and Compulsions. New York: Plume, 1991. (Especially Chapter 5, “Letting Go of Worries and Obsessions”)

    Halloran, E. Worry: Controlling It and Using It Wisely. New York: Pantheon, 1997.

    Kabat-Zinn, J. Full Catastrophe Living: Using the Wisdom of Your Body and Mind to Face Stress, Pain and Illness. New York: Delta, 1990.

    Schwartz, J. Brain Lock: Free Yourself From Obsessive-Compulsive Behavior. New York: Regan, 1996.

    Wegner, D. White Bears and Other Unwanted Thoughts: Suppression, Obsession and the Psychology of Mental Control. New York: Viking, 1989.

    SS 7/2001




















  • The Anxiety and Stress Disorders Institute of Maryland, LLP


     

     


     



    iVillage Member
    Registered: 05-18-2005
    In reply to: candiems
    Tue, 11-29-2005 - 8:45pm
    Hey everyone, I too worry all the time. I play the What If game constantly. I am trying to put a positive spin on the What If...instead of all negative. Trying, is the key word. I worry about everything from my kids, to having enough money to get thru the winter to Christmas. It's exhausting. About the only place I don't worry so much is at work because I have to push those thoughts aside and do my job. Also, does anyone else get short tempered from all the anxiety and worry. I DO. I just get so tired trying to keep up a good front because my family doesn't understand the anxiety very well. They all tell me Why do you feel that way. If I knew it would help a lot. I hope this isn't too long. I just needed to vent. I am just so tired of the worrying about what might happen....and if it does, how am I going to react to it. What Then???? I think maybe it's worse this time of year....it's dark so much longer and not enough sunshine. Thanks gals for listening. JanW
    Jan