I am starting to break...
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| Thu, 12-29-2005 - 12:40pm |
Everything with Ryan is starting to take its toll. The past month since the initial appt I have been doing well but after the episode tuesday and now knowing that he needs surgery on the other side has really gotten me down. I just CANNOT believe that I have to go through the whole thing again with him, it was so hard the 1st time and with the bleeding after the surgery.. I am SO SCARED to do this again with him. It was SO HARD to let him go into the operation room, I cried so hard and i was so happy to get it over with. I am just sad...
We go back to the Dr tomorrow to check his progress in both sides, also Justin is going to be seen by the Dr. He also gets bloody noses, just not as bad... I am nervous about that.
It is hard for me to be housebound, I have to limit Ryan's exposure to dry air. My anxiety tends to stay at bay when I go out. I have started having hotflashes and just an overall feeling of being jittery and shakey. I am having nightmares and not sleeping well which makes

((Heather))
Sheri Ann
I am so sorry to hear of all that you are going through, Heather. Is there anyone else that can come over and stay with Ryan and Jay so that you can have an hour or two alone - whether it is to run out to Walmart or do something out?
You won't break, Heather. You're way too strong for that, though I have to agree that you've had a plateful & then some. Remind yourself that you will bend with these strong winds. Just like a tree, you have that ability & your strong roots will keep you grounded.
ITA with Sheri Ann & Jules. Either make the best of staying in or find someone to let you catch a breather outside the house. Remind yourself that you deserve it! I think Jay might be stronger than we think. He made it through his own problems with the nosebleeds. He knows how to handle Ryan's. Maybe you should give him a chance. He can always call you on the cell if needed & maybe you could line up someone near your home to stand by until you get back. Make a plan.
Hi Heather,
I haven't been on the board very long, but you seem so strong and supportive for everyone and you are allowed to have a moment or two or even more, but breaking ah no!! you are great and hang in there. This too will pass, If I were there I would babysit for ya'll, I have 5 kids all grown, but one and she is nine, Hey what a thought cyber sitting, ok alittle far out there huh! and you say you are losing it !! LOL take a long hot bubble bath, That helps me alittle. I too wish I could be there to help.
Hang in there you are GREAT!
Lynn
Keep venting, it will help you let go of some of the stress. And we want to help you through this.
Do you have any close relatives that might be able to come over to help Jay with the boys so you can go to lunch or the store?? I like the idea of having your friends over to play with the boys if you cannot go out. Plan some quiet games for the boys to play. We like Chutes and Ladders and Hi Ho Cherrio.
I am just so sorry that you are going through all of this, I know that you can handle this but need some time to take a deep breath and gather your strength.
Good Luck at the Doctor!!
Lisa
Oh {{{Heather}}} I'm so sorry for all that is happening to you & your family. I cant' even imagine the toll it is taking on all of you. I wish I knew what to say but for once I don't so all I can say is that you all have my thoughts, prayers, positive thoughts and strength vibes coming your way.
Many Hugs
Danielle
Hugs & Positive Thoughts Always,
((((((((((((((((((Heather))))))))))))))
I sure wish I had an easy answer to all of this. I really feel for ya. I have been praying and I will keep Ryan and your entire family in my prayers for as long as it takes. That's the most I can do. I just wish I could offer more.
Jennifer
"Oh, that you would bless me indeed, and enlarge my territory, that Your hand would be with me, and that You would keep me from evi