Boyfriend has panic attacks about me

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2006
Boyfriend has panic attacks about me
7
Mon, 01-02-2006 - 5:04pm

Hello

I am new here. So I am hoping you can help me. I have been chatting to a man for 4 months we decided to meet within a few days of meeting he has his first panic attack over meeting me. He has an appoitment with a doctor over his fear of meeting me. He calls me but admitted he has a problem calling but does and is fine once I answer the phone. I have read everything I can on this. Any suggestions you can give me I would appreciate.
Thanks

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2003
Mon, 01-02-2006 - 6:11pm

Welcome chatress to our caring community.

Sheri Ann

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
Mon, 01-02-2006 - 6:33pm

I'd like to extend my welcome as well. It's nice that you are educating yourself about our condition.


It's a shame that your bf has panic. It isn't as common in men as it is in women. We do have men who post to the board though. We appreciate the male

 

 


 



iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2006
Mon, 01-02-2006 - 6:54pm
Thank you, yes we met online. He has some trust issues. He was burnt by his ex-fiance by her cheating on him within weeks of their wedding. He didnt realize he had a problem until the time came to meet me. He has no other attacks unless it has to do with me. He emails and calls alot but to meet he totally freaks out. I promised I would stick it out with him. We have a good relationship except for this. I felt really bad I caused him to have a panic attack. Alot of guilt. So I backed way up and gave him alot of space. But he doesnt seem to want that. He doesnt have this problem with anyone but me. I am the first woman he has ever felt something for since his break up with his ex a few years ago. I dont know if I am wasting my time and he wont ever meet me or with therapy will they make him face his fears. Job wise he has a great career talks in public this has to do only with me.
Thanks
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2003
Mon, 01-02-2006 - 7:53pm

Are you sure he is being honest with you?

Sheri Ann

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2006
Mon, 01-02-2006 - 8:07pm

Yes I have been very careful and he isnt lying. I have had doubts but he has proved that he has been honest. I always have kept my guard up. I guess my question is has anyone ran across this before? And what do I do to help him? He saw his doctor who has sent him off to see a specialist for this. He sees them on the 6th.
I have been supportive and patient. Just don't know what else to do.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2003
Mon, 01-02-2006 - 8:19pm

I don't think there is anything else you can do, but wait.

Sheri Ann

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
Tue, 01-03-2006 - 12:45am
The only thing I can add is that this is a specific fear/phobia that is triggering his panic attacks. That is NOT unusual. We have plenty of folks with specific fears/phobias. They are treated the same as all anxiety disorders. A combination of meds/therapy is the most successful. There are desensitization therapies out there, as well as hypnosis. I mention these as others have used them &