A and Depression are getting me down

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
A and Depression are getting me down
4
Fri, 01-13-2006 - 8:41pm

My dh and I are having the worst finacial difficulties that we have ever faced together. Right now, we are in the middle of the month and are unable to pay our rent for home and the office. We are way behind on utilities. It's just really, really bad. We are both should have filed bankruptsy already with my having about $40,000 in debt and him having about $100,000 in debt. We lost all of his belongings that were in a storage unit because we couldn't pay the rent for that. We are on the edge of losing what I have in storage. (If this sounds funny the way I'm stating it, it's because he's Canadian and I'm American. We are both citizens of our respective countries. His official address is his office even though that's not kosher. Mine is our home. We live 5 miles from the border. He commutes into a suburb of Vancouver, New Westminster.)

In the past, he has hidden things from me as far as our financed go. Unfortunately, that ended up with his having an emotional affair three years ago, the pressure, stress, and my lengthy time with depression and anxiety then. I only found out about this on Oct. 29, 2005. So, that's one more lovely thing to be stressed and anxious about. We are next in line to get into a mental health care clinic that goes on a sliding fee scale to attend some marriage counseling.

He is unable to hide it from me because I am now working in his office with him about three days a week. So, now I am getting the whole picture. I have been filing our personal paperwork he has there, as well as his business paperwork. It's very scary.

I also have no health insurance. That adds up quickly. I go to a health clinic that works on a sliding fee scale and won't deny you service due to an inability to pay. Thank God for that. They also got me signed up for some perscrition programs. They give me samples. The only drug I have to pay for for my mental health is Lamictal, and that's discounted. However, I am unable to get meds for my asthma and arthritis, my migraines, etc. for the most part. I get samples when the doc has them. The rest of the time, I go without. And then I end up in the hospital with an asthma attack. Grrrrr The health care in this country sticks!!!!!

Okay, that's my vent and my problems. I am trying to do what I can to deal with them. I get overwhelmed SO easily. Is that a part of the anxiety or is that a cause of the anxiety? Chicken or the egg, I guess.

Steph


"In the first place, God made idiots. That was for practice. Then he made school boards."


-Mark Twain


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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2005
Fri, 01-13-2006 - 10:49pm

hmm... not to make light of this....

I am a Canadian. If I were you, I'd move myself and husband to CANADA, file for bankruptcy and use our healthcare system. You guys could both get yourselves free counseling and your doc and/or a mental health clinic might be able to get you drugs at discounted prices. Just my 2 cents for the financial aspect. I'm sorry that I can't comment on your anxiety about your husband though. I am sorry to hear about his behaviour with this other woman, I wish you the best and I hope you aren't offended by my comments.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-09-2004
Fri, 01-13-2006 - 11:46pm

Your best bet is coming to Canada as the other reply said. As far as the anxiety goes, no wonder you are so anxious! I totally understand ... you have a lot to think about. I guess it's best to tackle one problem at a time, little by little, if that is possible.

JR

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
Sat, 01-14-2006 - 8:14am

(((Steph))) I am sorry to hear all this. No wonder you're feeling the way you do. Anyone of these stressors is enough to feed the depression/anxiety cycle. I have often thought that I traded one for the other. Just get to where I can deal with anxiety & Boom! The depression is back. Research does indicate that the two go hand in hand.


I know that you know dumping the stress that you can will be a big help. Financial problems

 

 


 



iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2003
Sat, 01-14-2006 - 7:14pm
Steph WOW!!! Your problems are pretty BIG!!
If you can break them down so them are less devestating that
might help! As for healthcare there are some doctors who do
use a sliding scale maybe call the dept of health??? and the
same for marriage counseling! Try calling some agencies!!
Good LUCK and hang on!! Judy