I need to know it's not just me...

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-16-2006
I need to know it's not just me...
6
Mon, 01-16-2006 - 5:05am
See, I'm 21 years old. I've suffered from severe depression since I was about 10. It's been the last couple of years where I've really been recovering and only the last year where I've made enough progress that I think I really need to start challenging myself and really living life.
Anyway, the problem is that I live in an area where you must drive to get around. And I'm absolutely terrified of driving. I've driven a few times in a parking lot and around the neighborhood and every single time was exhausting and took me weeks to recover the nerve to do it again.
I'm not sure if its a phobia, per se, because I think its just good sense. People get in horrible accidents all the time. I just don't think that I can face all the possible health risks. Maiming, scarring, death.
I'm not afraid of riding in cars, really. Its the responsibility of keeping not only myself, but passengers, and everyone else on the road or near the road, completely safe. Its daunting to me. I can't take it.
No one else seems to have any problem with controlling a huge, dangerous machine. I believe I need to drive in order to start a new life, but I just can't wrap my head around it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
Mon, 01-16-2006 - 9:03am

Hello! It's nice to see you here:) You are NOT alone. There are plenty of folks who have issues with driving. Some have overcome their fears/phobias. Others are working on them. It is hard imagining there are others just like us, but that's the best part of our supportive community. Noone will judge you here. We're all in the same boat facing anxiety in certain situations.


We had a former co-cl that used hypnotherapy to overcome her inability to drive. There are other forms of therapy & also medications that can be used as a tool to help us put our thoughts in perspective. It isn't fun living a limited life. You need to decide how you plan to approach this problem. Then, we'll support you in whatever decision you choose. I had an awful driving fear & didn't get behind the wheel for 3 years. I feared breakdowns, flat tires or driving in areas where I might need help & there were no houses to make a phone call. Though I did take meds & see a therapist, I worked on the driving myself. I used the small step approach. Driving only to the stop sign @ the end of my street. Always pushing my limits until I felt uncomfortable, but not panic stricken. Each day I made myself do some driving & made myself drive farther. It takes motivation. Rome wasn't built in a day, so you can't expect overnight success. Be kind to yourself & even if your success is just a few feet farther down the street, CELEBRATE! I still have problems driving long distances but I break the drive down into small sections. I used belly breathing & positive thoughts to reassure myself. Please check out our *coping tips & tricks* folder below for ideas. Have a friend ride along until you're comfortable alone. You CAN do this!


We wnt you to succeed. We care about you. Read the back posts & join in our discussions. Stop into chat & take advantage of what our members have to offer. Good luck & GBU! Keep in touch. (((hugs))) jan


 

 


 



iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2003
Mon, 01-16-2006 - 8:47pm

Driving problems?? Wow, did you come to the right place :)

Sheri Ann

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-09-2004
Mon, 01-16-2006 - 9:53pm

Hey, I'm 21 as well by the way.

I completely understand your fear of the vehicle. When I had my first accident I felt like the world was falling down on me and yet it was only a fender bender in a parking lot!

The thing is to take it step by step. Create a hierarchy for yourself. For your first time don't jump to driving in the parking lot. Become accustomed to it slowly. For example, just get in the car at first and sit in the driver's seat and then get out. Next, get in the driver's seat and start the car. Then turn it off and get out. And so on. Work GRADUALLY and you shouldn't feel as fearful. Gradual exposure is the best thing you can do :)

A lot of people have difficulty driving at first. I've been driving three years and am still very uncomfortable, but in many ways that's a good thing because then you don't get too full of yourself and take your driving abilities for granted. As soon as I started relaxing behind the wheel I had my first accident. Now I'm terrified again and am a MUCH better driver! Haha! I still have never driven on a highway and have no clue how I will!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-16-2006
Tue, 01-17-2006 - 1:25am
I just want to thank everyone for their responses. Cause, really, no one I know even bats an eye about driving.
And, actually, for the first time in a couple of years I have felt brave enough to try to drive.
I feel good and strong cause it's not just me; I have a whole different perspective about it.
It's something people deal with all the time and its doable.
And I'm going to try and drive sometime in the next few days. Baby steps.
Really, this has helped. My life is pretty small right now and I really needed some perspective. :)
Thanks, everyone.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2003
Tue, 01-17-2006 - 3:29am

My 1st time here, i searched for "driving" on the board.

Sheri Ann

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-17-2006
Tue, 01-17-2006 - 12:43pm
Hi just want to tell you that, having anxiety to drive is a pretty normal fear when you first start. I too had some anxiety and it took time before I became confident in driving. You just have to take small baby steps and do it a little everyday even if its around the block, just continue do it a little everyday and you will soom start to feel confident and your anxiety will diminish before you know it. Good Luck!