I am SO UPSET...MIL

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-17-2001
I am SO UPSET...MIL
13
Tue, 01-17-2006 - 10:06am

My Mil is a vicious mean person... she has faked cancer, called the police on jay because he wouldn't take out that trask..lol... she has said that she hates me. She didn't see the Boys for over a yr because she wrote me that nasiest email and I didn't want someone who hates me so much around my children... anyway, I got an email that she meant to send to someone else... it was about my MOTHER. When I confronted her she went all crazy on me and sent me an email...When she was married to Jay's (dh) father she punched him in the stomach and broke her wrist and said that he did it. Even her own sister won't talk to her...


So she told my BIL last night that I am so depressed that i sleep all day and that i don't get out of bed, I have clothes piled up and that I never clean.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-10-2005
Tue, 01-17-2006 - 10:28am

Wow...that is really disturbing. And I thought MY mother-in-law was crazy, this makes mine seem like a freaking saint.

Of course you know in reality this woman can not do anything and this are just empty threats. The problem with email is that you can write a lot of things you would never say to a persons face - it is a dangerous thing sometimes.

Seems to me that this woman needs some serious therapy and medication. I think you would be wise to remove such a toxic person from your life...and do not blame you for setting the boundaries. In the end, this is really really for your husband to deal with as it is his mother. I would stay out of it from here on out...and let him do the communicating.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-17-2001
Tue, 01-17-2006 - 10:33am

Oh absolutely,


Jay is going to cease all communication with her. He is just thinking about the way and how he wants to handle things...

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-10-2005
Tue, 01-17-2006 - 10:42am

This just sucks so bad - imagine being a mother like that? And so hard for your dh to cut off from her completely I am sure. With all you have going on, do you really nees this? What a selfish, selfish woman. She should be using that energy to figure out how she can be a help to you and the boys. This is the opposite!!

Being a mother of a son (like you) I just cannot imagine it. We have to be good mother-in-laws some day!!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 01-17-2006 - 10:49am

{{{Heather}}} You're MIL is a sick woman IMHO. In the time that I have known you, You have proved to be a generous, caring & supportive friend. You're an amazing mother and how anyone could say otherwise is unreal to me. Even if CPS came in they'd have no cause to believe your MIL's accusations. Forgive me but she is a liar!

As far as grandparent rights, I didn't think there had been a formal ruling on that. I know it was supposed to go to the courts and I'm sure some judges might go with it but for as nutty as she is I can't see that happening. I'd force a psychological evaluation with that.

Your children are going to stay right where they belong, With You & Jay. You're good people : )

I'm here for you whenever you need.
Positive Thoughts & Prayers coming your way.
Hugs
Danielle

Hugs & Positive Thoughts Always,

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-17-2001
Tue, 01-17-2006 - 10:55am

LOL, I agree... we will be the best MIL's.....


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
Tue, 01-17-2006 - 11:29am

"Empty threats" sounds good to me. I think that grandparent's rights was never fully legislated & isn't enforceable. Be careful though about limiting your children's time from their grandparents. Unless she is a danger to them. KWIM? If the boys could speak for themselves, perhaps they would feel differently. Will they be angry & resentful in the future? I have known that to happen. Maybe Jay should deal with his mom alone. For whatever reason she seems to have a real problem with you. We all can be someone else's trigger. It isn't YOU, Heather. It's the way she perceives you. That is HER problem. She has to be accountable for that.


As for her comments about depression & the kids, that's empty as well. I wouldn't stay home to clean the house. I wouldn't obssess about what she has said. I was severely depressed in the early 90's. I did have a dirty house, slept on the sofa all day, didn't prepare proper meals, basically was a neglectful parent. I even asked my *t* if someone would come & remove my kids because I knew I was not a good mom. They DID NOT! Their job is to keep families together. They sent help. A woman came to assist me in budgeting, cleaning, shopping, etc. Another one came(we all love her to this very day!) to assist with my parenting skills. She helped the kids with homework. Played games with them. I used to be kind of ashamed about it, but I was sick. If I had the ability to get myself out of that mess alone, I certainly would have done it. It simply wasn't possible @ the time. Give yourself some slack, Heather. If children's services show up, you have NOTHING to worry about. Remember you have Jay as a resourceful parent, too.


Keep your current schedule. Good heavens! You do so much with your boys & offer so many opportunities for them. Don't allow this woman to destroy all the progress you have made. Sending P&PT's your way! (((hugs))) jan


 

 


 



iVillage Member
Registered: 01-17-2001
Tue, 01-17-2006 - 11:38am

Hi Jan,


Pdoc and Tdoc would certinally attest to the fact that I have never and am not depressed at all. BUT she really believes all of this.I have been going through this for years. Is their a name for the way she is???


I honestly do believe that she could be a threat to them. I KNOW that she would try to poison them against me.. she used to tell us stories about Nick and how he said that his Mom abused him and was neglectful.. he never said any of that and told us that he never said it. I know that she isn't the greatest Mother but she has not abused him the way MIL was trying to make it look.


They will not be resentful at all, I have enough evidence to show them if they want in the future. I have no doubt that they will see why I am keeping her from them. Jay also agrees with me...

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2003
Tue, 01-17-2006 - 11:42am

As I said last night, in CT grandparents have NO parental rights.

Sheri Ann

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-17-2001
Tue, 01-17-2006 - 11:47am
call me!
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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2003
Tue, 01-17-2006 - 11:53am
email me your phone number :)

Sheri Ann

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