can panic make you actually go nuts?
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| Mon, 01-23-2006 - 11:15pm |
Hi, I had panic disorder for about 6 years and was pretty much cured about 5 years ago. I mostly avoided certain situations that I had a previous attack in; driving alone with nothing in site, in meetings, during shows, or anything that there was no "safety." I felt it got so bad that I may die and need some sort of help. I was always looking for a "safe place." I would be very aware of nearby hospitals, just in case. I had very bad panic attacks almost every day at one point. I hid them well. In fact, I came off as a mellow person and very sociable, independent. I know people thought I was a hypochondriac but I didn't come off as anxious. Anyway, I went to therapy years ago. No meds. I refuse to take them. But for the most part, I am panic free. there are some situations, however, that I do avoid because I never got over the fear and did them since I have been panic free. I still get anxious in meetings or in a place where if a panic attack suddenly came on, and I felt I had to run out of the room, that I would be embarrassed. I do most of these things, but not without anxiety. I have actually run out of a room while paniking...
So, here is my current problem... The one thing I have been avoiding is going skiing because of the lift. I didn't even have a panic attack on a lift in the past when the panic was real bad. I just have a mental block against it, like it is a situation I should avoid in case a panic attack comes out of the blue. I know once I am on that lift there is no turning back. I can't run or get off. I'm stuck. If I panic, I am afraid I will need to get off it immediately and jump and die. I realize that I am rarely in situations that I cannot get out of in case I had a panic attack. I mean, I don't really think about it much. But I am so obsessed with the thought of the ski lift and I am so anxious just thinking about the lift. I have looked at pictures of it and tried to imagine myself on the lift and I feel sick...
I WANT to get on that lift. My boyfriend is a huge snowboarder and we both are athletes. I know I will LOVE snowboarding. But I am deathly afraid of that lift. I know he will support me but what can I do to prepare myself??? What if I get on that lift and can't do it and go crazy???? I know everyone says panic attacks will not make you actually do this and your mind knows not to do anything to endanger yourself but can someone please help me believe this? He wants me to go this wkend and I don't know if I can do it. If I do it I will feel like I have fully recovered...
I need some encouraging. I am so worried.

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Hi there, just wanted to say hi and glad you are here.
Judy
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