And I was doing so good.....
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| Mon, 01-30-2006 - 6:55am |
Welcome to another morning of Amy Didn't Sleep Last Night.
No PA, exactly, but could not fall asleep for anything! First my head was running, which was my own fault for doing homework and discovering a new site right before bed. Then my blood sugar was low and I got scary-low readings, though I think my strips must be bad because I didn't feel sick enough to get those numbers and they were all over the place on successive readings.
And then...I just couldn't sleep. No matter where I put my head or my arms, all I could feel and hear was my slightly elevated heartbeat--not racing, just a little faster than normal, probably due to frustration of not being able to sleep. Every time I was almost asleep I jolted awake again with mild racing for a few seconds, and then back to a general discontent. And there was always something...had to go to the bathroom, horrendously thirsty, hungry, cold, hot, garbage truck. Every now and then I would get what I've been calling a "panic surge"--where I get that panicky tingly feeling in my head, but it does not progress into anything worse.
This is so frustrating. NOw I have to skip my afternoon classes to take a nap because I have a recruitment reception with American Express tonight, with the people I am interviewing with tomorrow. Around 4am I thought I should go in to the health center before class...but for what? What can they possibly tell me that I don't know? I know my heart's fine...the racing and pounding I was having a month ago have not recurred since I came back to Ithaca. And I know that my sugar readings are probably a bad batch of strips, and that to find out I need to get some control solution and see if the readings are okay....but I want to do SOMETHING!!! I HATE THIS!!!!!

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Hi Jan-
I'm actually not diabetic, I'm hypoglycemic. So I don't check my sugar very often, only when I feel sick or to do a fasting spot check to make sure my morning sugars aren't creeping upward. (My grandmother was diabetic.) That night, I felt a little "woozy," but not sick enough for the numbers to be that low.
I'm pretty sure "nohting" is wrong with me. I had frequent panic attacks before break. Those symptoms (particularly the racing heartbeat and what accompanies it) have disappeared since I got back. To me, that's a pretty good sign it's not my heart.
Nice to me you!
Amy
Thank you! I was one of the lucky ones. Many of my classmates had 7-10 interviews this week. I feel really bad for them. They look like zombies now from all the constant stress, and now 10 phone calls to wait for! And some aren't even answers, just callbacks for the second round!!! Plus they have every but as much coursework to deal with as I do!
MBA school is not for the faint of heart!!!!!
I've been popping in to lurk almost every day, but don't get time to post very much. How is Heather doing with the boys?
Sorry you've been sick...are you feeling better now?
{{hugs}}
Amy
Just wanted to add...on the 'good' side, due to social events last night, I had two diet cokes (no other SF drinks at the dinner) and a small glass of beer with no ill effects. Tried REALLY hard to avoid the beer, but there were pitcher specials and someone *literally* pushed the glass into my hand!!! Was good, though, and drank seltzer the rest of the night! :o) (I think the hydration helped to stave off the RHB and ickiness, which I think is a physiological trigger....)
Environment makes a big difference, I think. I need to more narrowly identify my triggers in NYC, as I am going there this summer for the internship and settling there permanently after school....
Heather's waiting for blood test results, it could take up to a week to know if they're on the
Sheri Ann
Hi Amy,
Thank you for asking about me. We are hanging in there.... as Sheri said, we are waiting for some test results but they have been nosebleed free for 2 days now!!!!!
My tdoc tells me all the time that when I am anxious that sometimes it is a "normal" anxiety. She reminds me that everyone gets anxiety and to look at that. Just a thought that may help you...
i know its hard to have so many sleepless nights and so incredibly frustrating too. Have you considered taking sleeping pills? I know there are lot of stereotypes associated with the use of sleeping pills, however, you cant let your insomnia (i know that's not the appropriate term for what' going on) to rule your life. a lack of sleep can be just as hazardous to your health as other more serious medical conditions. I really urge you to talk to your doctor and tell him/her what is going on.
I've toyed with the idea...thing is, I've had sleeping problems since I was little. The anxiety nights are more severe than the normal insomnia, but I guess I've gotten used to it. The times I have tried sleeping pills, I felt "off" the next morning....
It's only two days a week that I'm stuck at school all day. Other days I can slip home for a nap in the afternoon if necessary. And the all-nighters don't happen very often, either. Only once in a while.
I don't actually have a doctor. There's a health center on campus, but you really only see the doctor if the nurse thinks you need a prescription.
This anxiety thing is a bit new for me. I'd like to try and get a handle on it behaviorally before looking into meds. So far, it's not significantly cutting in to my daily life on a regular basis, so I maybe lucky not be able to manage it without meds.
I have to be more disciplined, though. Today I had two cans of diet coke (school provides "breakfast" in the morning and it was the only cold beverage without caffeine), and I had a beer last night. I definitely don't feel right this evening. I don't think I"ll have a full-on attack, but I've got the low-level anxiety, paying-too-much-attention-to-my-heart thing going right now. *sigh* I should have known better....!
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