Therapy last night....Please Read
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| Tue, 02-14-2006 - 9:58am |
First off, In terms of my question yesterday, he said that dissociative anxiety disorder isn't a common term used anymore, it's old school. Basically combining dissociative symptoms with anxiety is how they get there.
I told pdoc what the family dr had to say just to put it out there and I will also mention to the psychiatrist about the wellbutrin suggestion. It is agreed upon by all dr's that I really need to stay away from the SSRI family. Lexapro may have been an exception but they don't want to take the chance either.
I know I can look this up but what is EMD or EDM, fuzzy minded this morning?
Pdoc was going to give me homework last night but I was able to complete it right there, lol. He asked what I'd like to work on. I told him my anxiety and learning to control my borderline habits. I told him that I know I'm supposed to control it but sometimes I do feel like it takes over and I have no control. He asked me to pick one thing I want to work on and of course the obvious answer was my mother. We did a quick unoffical eval of her to see what we are dealing with. Right off the bat he has her at BPD, narcissism and of course her anxiety issues. He felt that having an idea of what she is about will help us. I told him that I realize I will never feel affirmation from her but I need to learn in my own way how to deal with the things that she has exposed me to in my life so that I can rid myself of them. A couple of years ago I woke up and realized I'd been treating my daughter like my mother treated me but conciously didn't even know it becuase the memories are not there. My best friend of 20years confirmed what I'd told her so that's how I know it true. There are things I need to uncover, and hypnotism has been suggested here, but I need to find those things so that I can deal with them and not repeat them even if subconciously. I have a lot of work to do to say the least and I always knew that. I think I finally have someone who is going to work to help me.
It was a good session and now the work begins, lol I'm ready though, I've been ready for a long time. As I said in another post the dx that they hand me are imho guidelines on how to handle therapy with me and nothing more. I am not the dx, it does not define who I am. I have lived this way for a long time and have been fine even through the rough times I came out on top. My anxiety is fierce and needs to get under control and so right now that is top issue. I believe that the experiences of our lives can make us stronger or hurt us depending on the type of person you are and while my experiences have hurt me they have also made me a stronger person. I know that without all of the things I've gone through I wouldn't be who I am today. While there are things I would like to change, my strength, determination and other characteristics that have gotten me this far as ones I think were brought on by the need to survive and will always help me. I hope that made sense, Now one of the easier things to explain, lol
Ok, well this has turned into a book. Forgive any type-o's, It's early and not enough coffee yet.
Happy Valentines Day Everyone
Hugs
Danielle

Danielle,
I want to say that I find your posts so interesting.
Jennifer
"Oh, that you would bless me indeed, and enlarge my territory, that Your hand would be with me, and that You would keep me from evi
Thank you Jennifer.
I know that in some cases it's going to be hard to remember what I have surpressed for whatever reason but I need to know. Sometimes I don't feel whole because I can't remember. I feel left out when people speak of their childhoods and I can't participate, it's just sad. I expect that some will be hard but I am ready to do this. I need to do this for myself, for my family. I am not looking to punish if I have been wronged by others but simply want to know the truth. I know my mom will be a great part of the process and hurt but unless I deal with whatever is there how can I better my relationship with her, How can I go on honestly with her?
I'm so glad that you are all here and will keep you posted on how things continue along. This is going to be a long road and I'm glad that there will be others there to help me down the path.
Hugs
Danielle
Hugs & Positive Thoughts Always,
Sounds like you had an excellent therapy session, Danielle.
As far as the hypnosis goes, I had it several times and you would be surprised at what came out that I didn't even know was in my head. Once I could confront it, I could 'tame' it. I hope you will look further into it. In my case it was well worth it.
Take care.
Barb
Thank you Barb.
I really hope that helps & works for me. I feel the same way. I need to get it to the surface in order to deal with it and I expect that it's going to be a doozie.
Hugs
Danielle
Hugs & Positive Thoughts Always,
We can always hope that is it not a traumatic event that caused this. Mine was suppression of my gay feelings, not trauma. Believe it or not, it was not the rape or abortion, or childhood problems. Funny how our mind works to cope.
Good luck.
Barb
Thankfully my sexuality hasn't been an issue for me since my teens when I accepted the I like both. Might be hard to understand but for me it's not anymore.
Personally I think it's going to be bad, physical, emotional & verbal abuse is what I expect to find espcially after talking with family members that were close to me and in that enviornment with me as a child. It's going to be ugly.
Hugs
Danielle
Hugs & Positive Thoughts Always,
Happy Valentines Danielle,
Glad to hear you had a good session. Keep up the good work,
Lisa