Would you be upset?

Avatar for cherfer
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-11-2003
Would you be upset?
9
Tue, 02-14-2006 - 11:37pm
So I live with my boyfriend of almost 2 years, and we have been friends for 6 years. Well a few years back I was dating some guy, and for Valentines day he didn't get me a gift, a card , take me to dinner, or anything. Any my bf who was my friend at the time, said how that guy was such a jerk and he should have done something.
So today is Valentines' day and I got absolutely nothing. No gift, no flowers, no card, no dinner. I spent the night making dinner, and doing dishes. He went out because he had to do something with his band. The worst part is I thought I was getting an engagement ring tonight.
Avatar for dustydavissss
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 02-15-2006 - 12:36am
If this is the first year that he has not "honored" the day, well maybe there is a good reason. Expectations can be our downfall, especially when they are not met. A romantic gesture with an engagement ring was a really BIG expectation. Why don't you take a few minutes and talk with your bf and let him know that you were expecting some kind of gesture (forget talking about the ring) and that your feelings were a bit hurt. Don't let these feelings fester because although Valentines Day is fun, it's not an earth shattering "holiday". Hopefully loving gestures go on all year long with you two and just one day, Valentines Day, is not the realationship breaker. Maybe, all things considered, you guys have a good thing going so try to not let those BIG expectations overshadow all the good things between you both.
Blessing,
Suz

Blessings,

Suz

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
Wed, 02-15-2006 - 1:27am

Suz has answered your question perfectly. Nothing can set us up to fail quicker than our ambitious expectations. Not that you shouldn't aim high. You should. Just

 

 


 



Avatar for cherfer
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-11-2003
Wed, 02-15-2006 - 8:16am
It's our second year. I don't think I was out of line to be expecting a ring, because we've been talking about it and he kept saying it was going to happen. He even slipped that he was shopping for one.
It just sucks that although my boyfriend is wonderful, he is the least romantic person I have ever met, but he thinks he is a romantic, which is pretty funny. He never surprises me with anything. I guess I'm just disappointed that I didn't even get a card or told that I'm special to him in any way.
Avatar for cherfer
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-11-2003
Wed, 02-15-2006 - 8:18am
Oh and I also tried talking to him last night about feeling hurt, and of course he got mad and said that I don't appreciate him.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2003
Wed, 02-15-2006 - 9:45am

You know, I can relate to how disappointed you must be.

Jennifer

"Oh, that you would bless me indeed, and enlarge my territory, that Your hand would be with me, and that You would keep me from evi

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-26-2003
Wed, 02-15-2006 - 10:00am

It is tough to not receive what we so freely give.

Judy

Avatar for cherfer
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-11-2003
Wed, 02-15-2006 - 10:55am
Yea I guess hanging out together would have been nice. But I spent my evening at home along doing dishes because he had somewhere to be. I guess anything at all to show me that I'm special would have been nice.
Avatar for cherfer
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-11-2003
Wed, 02-15-2006 - 10:58am
Romance to me means even if money is tight, we could have spent the evening together and maybe ordered a couple of cheeseburgers and watched a movie. Instead I was home alone doing housework. This is why I'm upset. Forget the ring. I just wanted to know that I was special.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
Wed, 02-15-2006 - 1:50pm

You ARE special. I have found in my life it helps to recognize my own specialness & not depend on others to