Anyone else get anxious on the phone?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Anyone else get anxious on the phone?
12
Tue, 02-21-2006 - 10:51am

I'm not talking about being on the phone with friends or family, but I get very anxious when I have to call any kind of Customer Service or someone I don't know very well. Basically, any kind of business call. Even work-related calls. Luckily, in my current position I rarely have to make any calls. I don't know what I think will happen on the phone, but I get anxious about making the call and usually put it off as long as I can.


For instance, I'm moving into a new place Saturday. It's an apartment within a private home, and the owner of the house is as nice as could be. And still, I've been freaking out since Sunday about calling him to go over the very minor repairs and whatever I wanted done before I moved in. I obsess over everything. On Monday, I debated whether it would be better to call him at work or in the evening at home. While I was at work on Monday, I thought that he might find it inconvenient if I called him at work, so I decided to wait until that evening between 7:45 and 8 p.m. (not too early and not too late and likely past the dinner hour) to call him at home. Well, 8:00 came and went. I thought that he might not like being bothered at home. Nevermind that that doesn't make any sense because I will be living in the same house with him in a matter of days and that of course should any emergency come up while I'm living there I would be contacting him at home--knocking on his front door no less.


So finally today, I gathered my wits about me and went out to the car with my cell phone (no privacy in my office). It took me about 5 minutes to actually make the call (which lasted for less than 10 minutes). And, of course, he was amenable to everything I asked for and said it would be taken care of.


WHY was I so worried? It's totally irrational, but I'm like that for any kind of call where I have to ask for something or get personal business taken care of. Anyone else do this?


Laura

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
Tue, 02-21-2006 - 11:39am

Hi, Laura! I was just wondering. Is it the actual phone calling that distresses you or the asking for something to meet your needs? Perhaps you feel undeserving? Maybe you have difficulties asserting yourself? Just throwing some things out there for you to contemplate, as well as others like us.


I still have self esteem issues, but I actually look forward to calling for help. Something that has come to me lately is that the squeaky wheel gets the oil. (I know. I know. I am a bit dense. LOL)

 

 


 



iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 02-21-2006 - 12:04pm

Jan, I swear you read me like a book. I have a really hard time asking people for help, which is something else that has come up in therapy. I also don't like any kind of confrontation, even if it's the kind that's not rude like what you talked about with your cable company. I see any kind of call like that as being a confrontation, even though I am always polite on the phone. And while the rational part of me knows that the squeaky wheel gets the oil, the freaking out part of my mind is yelling louder that phone calls are something to be worried about. Bleh. And, yeah, I'm very bad at asserting myself as well. Part of it comes from being Southern and being raised to be polite (my mother was very strict when it came to having good manners). But mostly it's that I don't want to do anything to draw attention to myself.


Laura

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
Tue, 02-21-2006 - 1:17pm
"But mostly it's that I don't want to do anything to draw attention to myself." I can write a book on this one. In HS, I used to walk miles out of my way so as not to walk past the study hall. It was entirely windowed & I did NOT want anyone to look @ me. Though we may have been raised very differently, my mom was forever saying, * do you want to make a public spectacle of yourself?* That was her way of making us mind. I am convinced that is my trouble today. God forbid that I should draw any attention to myself): Hopefully there are others who can relate to this, Laura. We can't be the only 2 people. LOL (((hugs))) jan


 

 


 



iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2005
Tue, 02-21-2006 - 3:03pm

Laura...I'm exactly like that I'm even anxious about answering any incoming calls. I just hate telephones. No idea why just know that's how it is with me.

Keitha

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2004
Tue, 02-21-2006 - 7:17pm
I have never been on this board before, but do have my anxieties. I had no idea anyone else had a fear of the phone as well. I am afraid if I call someone I don't know (like for customer service, etc.) they will yell at me(which has happened). I have been uncomfortable with making calls and answering the phone for as long as I can remember.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
Tue, 02-21-2006 - 9:32pm
Nice to have you join in our discussion, butterfly. You are always welcome here. Please feel free to share your story with us when you feel comfortable. We care about you. Good luck & GBU! Stop into chat if you can. (((hugs))) jan


 

 


 



iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2003
Thu, 02-23-2006 - 10:11am

Laura I am the same exact way.

Sheri Ann

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2003
Thu, 02-23-2006 - 10:15am

*do you want to make a spectacle of yourself* makes me think of my own mom blaming all my relationship issues on my driving.

Sheri Ann

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2003
Thu, 02-23-2006 - 10:16am

My son who has OCD is always worrying that someone is staring at him.

Sheri Ann

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2003
Thu, 02-23-2006 - 10:18am

Hello & welcome.

Sheri Ann

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