left out and anxious ( a little long)
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| Fri, 02-24-2006 - 8:10pm |
Hi everyone,
Hope you are all doing well. I haven't written in a while. I hope things are good for everyone. Things have been crazy by me. My husband is trying desperatly to get his new business off the ground and things have been beyond stressful. I've been on the paxil for about 6 weeks now, and I definatly feel like I can handle things a bit better. I still get the triggers though, and they are quite painful.
Tonight some girls from my son's preschool are going out for dinner. Actually, I was the one who organized it. My husband is not getting home until 8:30pm and the girls are going around 7:00 or so. I told my husband i wanted to get a sitter, and he got really upset because he doesn't want me to spend ANY money right now. I totally understand his stress, however, I need a life too. He works atleast 80 hours a week, and is only home on Sunday. Not only am I upset that he doesn't see it necessary that I go out, but I feel like I am "missing out" or "left out" I should say.
I know times are so hard for us right now, and he is working his butt off. I am too, though. I am running the house and taking care of our two small boys, and I need to get out. We never get a sitter on Saturday nights (well, maybe once a month if that), and it's just a lot of stress to deal with. I understand that money is tight, and every dollar counts.
I know it is my anxiety taking over, but I am so worried that the girls are going to be talking about me, and glad that I am not there. So crazy, I know. Why can't it just be that I can't go, and they will miss me! The negative thoughts keep on a coming.
Thanks for listening. Lots of love, JD

Hi JD-
Isn't it awful how money problems can intrude on our lives?
I had a thought...do you have a neighbor or friend that you could swap babysitting with? Instead of paying them money, owe them a night of babysitting?
As far as being afraid they are talking about you...I can relate. I felt the same way last weekend. I had plans to have dinner with friends on two nights, and had tentative meetings scheduled with three of my class work groups. On Thursday, I spontaneously decided to get on the bus back to NYC with my husband to spend the weekend with him. All weekend I was afraid everyone I had blown off would be upset with me. As it turned out, everyone I told the story to agreed that I had made the best choice.
So, while I don't think your fear is "crazy," it's probably unfounded. :o) Would they have accepted your invitation if they didn't like you?
My suggestion would be to ask around to see if you have friends interested in bartering babysitting nights...find out who might be willing in advance, and then you know who to call when this sort of thing comes up.
{{hugs}}
Amy
(((Jolie)))
Sheri Ann
Hi Amy,
Thank you for the nice message, I really appreciate it. I really don't have
neighbors (SP?)that I know very well, and most of them aren't very nice. We have lived here for almost 7 years, and I hardly know any of them. It stinks.
I think you made the right choice, too. (having dinner with your hubby, that is.) It's nice to know that you understand my emotions. Again, I really appreciate it.
Love, Jolie