Anxiety and obsession is killing me
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Anxiety and obsession is killing me
| Tue, 02-28-2006 - 10:54am |
I feel so messed up through this whole FWB (Friends With Benefits) situation. I have so much anxiety and feel depressed. I have to take Xanax at night and also feel like I need it during the day.
Here is what is going on:
I am in a FWB with a guy. When we first started seeing each other I was really falling for him and then after a couple months he let me know he didn't have time for a full time committed relationship. I was very disappointed. So I agreed to a FWB because I could still

Oooh....I know you don't want to hear this, but get away, get away, get away!
I had the same situation a long time ago. For five years I was off-and-on-with-no-strings with a guy I went to college with. Well, "no strings" for him. I felt like if I just waited things out we would be more when he was ready. Needless to say, that never happened, and I finally ended it for good after we went to a party together and a friend of my tagged along, and by the end of the night I was the tagalong. I was absolutely devastated but finally decided enough was enough.
I have never known anyone that this has turned out well for.
I definitely think you'll benefit from seeing the therapist. It will help a lot to be able to talk about this frankly with someone who is totally outside the situation and objective.
I have to agree that you are setting yourself up for disaster.
Sheri Ann
Hi there,
Just wanted you to know that I completely understand how you must feel. I, too, deal with lots of obsessing and ruminating. I think in your situation, the "unknown" is what is making you feel insane. I get the same way. If you do have an open and honest relationship with him, I might ask him if he is seeing your neighboor and confront him with your concerns. It is very close for comfort, and I would feel weird, too. If your neighbor is a friend, then I would ask her what is going on, and tell her that you still have feelings for him.
On another note, it sounds like this guy is not treating you well, and maybe you need to look elsewhere. I realize he was honest with you about what he wants, but is he still asking you out and treating you well? I would stop sleeping with him all together until he decides what it is he does want. You don't need to be the girl he sees after you see a show.
Like I said, I do feel your pain, because I go through it on a daily basis. I understand the rumination and obsessing and anxiety that is caused by these types of situations. The unknown is the worst.
Best of luck, JD
I REALLY don't want to seem mean here but I am going to tell you the honest truth as I see it...
He is sleeping with you but won't commit???? Don't you see a problem there? That is NOT RIGHT and you deserve better then that. Personally I would not want to sleep with someone who I am not in a committed relationship with.
You REALLY DON'T know what he is out there doing and he is doing things with the neighbor so you never know if something is going on. That is something that you shouldn't have to worry about with
As the others have said, this is not going to be easy reading here and I am sorry for that.
Judy