A newbie here, hello!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
A newbie here, hello!
8
Mon, 03-13-2006 - 11:58am

Hello,

I thought I would introduce myself and see if anyone here has any ideas for me. :)
My name is Heather (I see I'm not the only one on the board). I am 26.

Lately, I've been having more and more problems with anxiety, paranoia and obsession. I have made an appointment to talk to a therapist on the 23rd, but still wonder whether or not my problem is serious enough to require professional help. Mostly, I would like to find ways to cope with the problems I have before they become serious enough to really effect my quality of life.

Some examples of the problems I have are as follows. I am SUPER HYPER sensitive to saying the wrong things or doing the wrong things that might hurt someone's feelings or offend, irritate or annoy other people. This is more true with acquaintances and people I've just met than people I know and trust. For example, I get embarrassed or worried when my husband is whistling at a restaurant or in line at the store because I'm afraid he's going to bother someone, and it makes me very uncomfortable.
Secondly, I am increasingly paranoid about people around me talking about me. Like if I leave a room, I'm convinced that the people in the room I just left start talking about me. OR I work in a 1st grade classroom, and there have been MANY times where I feel like the kids in the classroom are watching me and whispering about me. Seven year olds!! I feel this way about people in restaurants too.
Thats the paranoia stuff.

As for the anxiety and the obsessing. I worry a lot. But it is always about actually problems I am having. I just can't get the thoughts to stop. I lay awake at night for hours thinking about things that have already happened that I can't do anything about, feeling very anxious about the way conversations went and what those people must be thinking or saying about me, etc. OR I lay awake worrying about things that are coming up. Worrying about what COULD happen, what people might be saying, etc. I think about it constantly.

And finally, and I can't figure out where this fits in to ANYTHING, unless it's some sort of way I control things..., I obsess over buying things. I'll have thought of something I think I need, most recently it was some new skin care products, and I basically make myself and my husband miserable because I can think of little else until I have whatever thing it is I'm obsessing over. And I don't know how to make myself NOT think about those things.

One other thing, is that my car died 4 years ago, and since then we've only had once car, DH gets to use it because he needs it for work, so he drives most of the time. Because of that, I've become very co-dependent and am afraid to drive almost at all, I rarely drive, and I really don't like going anywhere alone anymore, even though this was never a problem before.

Anyway, those are just some basic examples of the problems I am having. I don't think it's severe enough that I need medication, I would just like to learn some sort of techniques to help me redirect my thinking patterns or something. I don't know. Maybe I'm just overreacting and I don't have a problem at all. I'm sure I've rambled enough for now.

Thanks in advance for any thoughts or suggestions,
Heather

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  &nb

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Registered: 03-22-2003
Mon, 03-13-2006 - 1:37pm

Welcome Heather to our community.

Sheri Ann

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Registered: 12-29-2003
Mon, 03-13-2006 - 1:43pm

Hi Heather,


I wish I had some ideas to help.

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Registered: 03-28-2003
Mon, 03-13-2006 - 2:11pm

No, I have not a physical... and about the meds, I should mention that I also take medication regularly for migraines. I have hydrocephalus (the fluid does not drain off of my brain by itself) and I have two shunts (tubes that run from my brain into my abdomen to drain the fluid off of my brain) so I have always had problems with headaches/migraines. I've been on the medication for a little while now, but if I'm really honest with myself I would say that most of my problems predate the medication, but have been getting a little worse lately, but I've been on the meds for quite awhile now so I'm sure it's not that.

As of right now, I can function in my daily life just fine. Even if I am sometimes very preoccupied with these thoughts that don't stop. Sometimes I wonder if I'd be alright if I could just get something to help me sleep.

A little more about me, I am 26, I've been married for 3 and a half years. My husband and I don't have any children but are working on becoming foster parents... but now I am thinking of putting that on hold for just a little while until I can really get control on my anxiety issues because I KNOW that adding children to our life, ESPECIALLY foster children will be an added stress and could really make things worse. DH and I both work fulltime, he works with computers and I am a sign language interpreter in an educational setting, right now I work in a first grade classroom with a first grade student. I LOVE my job and it's the HAPPIEST I have ever been with any job I've ever had. But there have been some situations with some people here lately that have really kept me up at night obsessing over things that have happened, and I admit I often catch myself feeling inferior and being anxious about the people I work and what they think of me or say about me.
I also just recently started working as a volunteer with the 8th graders in my church's youth group. This has been a HUGE deal for me because I basically stepped into a place where I didn't know a SINGLE person!!!! The first thing I did with them, was actually with the high schoolers, where I went on a retreat for a whole weekend, not knowing ANYONE! It was a big deal for me, and a BIG step out of my comfort zone, and I certainly was not comfortable and worried the whole weekend about the other adults and the even the students and what they thought of me and said about me and I was basically silent the whole time and did very little. When I got home I obsessed over the few conversations I did have for DAYS analyzing them, worrying about them, etc. Making myself miserable. Since then I am back with the middle schoolers where I am a LITTLE more comfortable because those kids are more like kids than the high schoolers, but I'm still pretty freaked out.
But I know this is where I need to be and it's a good experience for me... so I keep going back hoping each time I'll feel more comfortable. I don't know why I feel like such a freak each time I'm there or why I'm so intimidated or so afraid to speak to anyone. I never used to be that way. :(

Anyway, there's a little bit more about me and things with me. I'm a little freaked out about my appointment on the 23rd, I've never been to therapy before, I don't have the SLIGHTEST idea what to say, where to begin, and I have this scene in my head that the therapist is just gonna tell me I'm imagining things or overreacting and laugh at me or something. BUT on the other hand, I'm at the point now, where I'm looking forward to talking to someone about these things, and learning ways to redirects my fears, obsessions, etc.

Thanks for the welcome, and thanks for empathizing with me. I'll let you know what I find out as I go through this.

:)
- Heather

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  &nb

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2003
Mon, 03-13-2006 - 2:59pm

Alana, welcome to our community!

Sheri Ann

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Registered: 11-22-2005
Mon, 03-13-2006 - 3:32pm

Hi! I'm fairly new here too and I can say with all honesty that the people here are understanding and supportive. They have helped me tremendously and I am sure you will find the same to be true for you. You are not alone.

Take care

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
Mon, 03-13-2006 - 4:36pm

Hi, Heather! Nice to have you here. If you're interested in some do-it-yourself fixes, check out our *coping tips & tricks* folder below.

 

 


 



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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-13-2003
Mon, 03-13-2006 - 4:48pm

Welcome to the board Heather,

This is a great community to share your thoughts and provide support to others. I have found great tips here as well as friendship.

Keep posting! I look forward to getting to know you,

Lisa

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
Mon, 03-13-2006 - 5:00pm

Hi, Alana! Welcome to our caring community. We are so glad that you found us.


This is a tough situation you're in. Some folks need those 2 incomes & a new mom wants everything to be perfect for the soon to arrive bundle of joy. (Congrats! That is wonderful news:)) Being conflicted brings with it alot of stress.