Anxiety -- impulsivity and obsessions?
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| Fri, 03-24-2006 - 8:42pm |
Question:
I've been dealing with anxiety and panic attacks a lot since my divorce (almost 4 years ago). I have a friend -- who really shouldn't be a friend -- who somehow can get me into a anxiety attack (this is a guy friend who doesn't have any experience with relationships). I've gotten really impulsive and angry with the anxiety -- where I'll keep calling him, etc when we are having a fight. I don't understand this 'cause I've never been quite like this. Does high anxiety create the grounds for impulsivity or obsessional thinking? Just wondering. I'm only like this when I'm having high anxiety or a panic attack. Also, does it make sense that anger sometimes go with anxiety too?
Finally, he actually blocked my phone number! I glad I've actually bugged him to death and deserve this -- because my ex-husband did a lot of things that didn't make sense -- this does!! I am totally stupid for calling him while fighting but isn't there a way for me to calm down -- does this sound normal?
Just trying to get a grip --
Thanks!

It's nice to see you on the board:) I am sorry you're so distressed over this. We all get angry & do things we later regret. If you have been professionally diagnosed with anxiety/panic attacks, then you should get treatment for them. Meds in combination with therapy is successful in more than 80% of cases. Obssessive thinking
What I learned (and spoke with the local crisis line):
I've seen numerous psychologist (each for at least 4 months) -- all think I'm right -- brilliant -- progressing -- doing well -- great coping skills, etc. Usually when I get to the point where they think I'm doing great -- I switch -- they have not been a great help. The best group that has helped was an anxiety/depression group. They all said I had too much on my plate and why did have keep the friends I have kept (because I've got too much on my plate to invest in other friendships). The call last night was him hanging up on me -- I hate that -- so I called back. He is a very judgemental, critical person... I was hoping to get us both to apologize for something that happened earlier -- I was very focused on getting this result!! So, in the end, I'm glad that he blocked my number because I need to stop trying to figure him out and understand how someone can be so cold but your friend. Newest filter for close friends for me: if they are confusing... don't get close!!! Hard lesson to learn.
The social worker I spoke with last suggested a life coach versus psychologist. Someone who could help me investigate ways to channel my energies in a very pragmatic approach versus pathogize everything. She said worrying about the legal stuff about the phone call was going way overboard. So, she just doesn't know why I would want to continue to go back to someone where I get hurt and so angry... and thinks I'm actually angry at myself. We both agreed that I acted on compulsive urges... I normally don't do this -- but find myself doing it with this person more than I ever have -- somehow I'm triggering off what he is saying. The other thing she wondered was why did I believe what he was saying about me. Well, dah!! I dont' know. After my divorce I've gone through some really weird mental states.. I'll never forget a video at a divorce group showing a lady who got remarried too early -- wasn't ready -- she was very paranoid about her new husband and other things -- very out of character of her. This gives me hope that over time I will settle down and I have to slow down. I also think that I have. It's just very slowly.
Finally, my questions I think are answered... someone with high anxiety and some OCD with more stress added -- the OCD can come out more... So, my need (compulsion) to resolve the conflict) was unreasonable in the fashion I addressed it -- I was unable to stop and just relax -- I was too in the moment. The best thing is that he did was to block my number -- 'cause it brings more reality to the behavior and next time I feel so compulsive -- I'll be more apt to listen to my body versus act. I just wish I cared more for myself versus let caution to the wind... I'll need to build this up more too.
It sounds like the counselor offered you some good advice.
Sheri Ann