Feeling really anxious about a guy

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-07-2004
Feeling really anxious about a guy
1
Fri, 03-24-2006 - 9:13pm

Hello-

Two days ago I went on a date with a guy that I previously dated in high school. He is only in town for this week and then goes back to school Sunday. IT went pretty well for the first half of it, but later on it got weird with long uncomfortable silences. He ended up holding my hand for part of the night and that was it. Anyways when he walked me to my door, I was kind of expecting a kiss goodnight, but he only gave me a hug and said call me if ya wanna hang out, but I told him to call me.

I talked to him yesterday on the internet. He said sorry for just taking off like that, said he was tired. Then he asked if I wanted to hang out later, once he is done working out. I said sure and two half hours later finally received a call from him at 9pm. I was already really annoyed he waited this long to call me, so I told him I was too tired to hang out, and that I wish he called me earlier. Then he said, "Well tomorrow my family is coming into town and then on Saturday I am going to Tahoe." I dunno if this was in revenge for me canceling or he just wanted to be cool, because on our date he kept asking what I was doing on Friday and Saturday. Makes me think he wanted to hang out. He progressed to say that he is gonna come down for weekends possibly, something he never does. So now i am just confused and hurt.

I was having this whole fantasy image of this going somewhere, but I was wrong. I have been let down by so many guys, it is getting really hard to handle this one. I find myself obsessing over the date and examining every detail of what went wrong. What I should have said or not have said. I feel all this anxiety now, along with feeling depressed. I hate how I can't just let things flow naturally. I am already seeing a therapist and have been diagnosed with anxiety. Any suggestions about the date and my situation would be very appreciated.
Thank you

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
Fri, 03-24-2006 - 9:47pm

Hi & welcome to our caring community. I want you to take full advantage of our member's generosity in sharing their thoughts. Stop into chats when you can. Post anytime. We have a *coping tips & tricks* folder below that has many helpful ways to teach yourself how to manage the anxiety.


I am the last person to ask about relationships. Not that I have had bad ones, just never had much insight to help others with theirs:) I have found that being comfortable in your own life without a partner is necessary to get some sort of balance when hooking up with another. I will say that you had some mighty high expectations for this date. Anyone can do this, but those with anxiety do it ALOT & set themselves up for failure. That is surely a subject that your *T* could help you with. Others will come along & help you out with some great ideas.


We care about you & hope you'll find comfort in knowing you are NOT alone. Good luck & GBU! (((hugs))) jan