Hi I'm a newbie...
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| Sun, 03-26-2006 - 8:56am |
A newbie to the board, not Panic/Anxiety problems. I was diagnosed over 30 yrs ago and have dealt with it off and on for all this time. I've been reading posts on the board and would like to join in discussions with you all. I feel that I could be of help to some of you and sure could use some support from you guys.
In 3 months time I have lost 3 people close to me. One of them being my Mom. After all these yrs I have gained control over my anxiety for the most part, but this kind of stress sets me off. My hubby by the way is totally non supportive. We have been married over 11 yrs, both of us were married before. He has absolutely zero tolerance to my panic/anxiety and refuses to read or listen to any info on the subject. My medical Dr wanted to speak to him about it and he refused. He has refused to attend any therapy sessions with me also. Soooo, I'm in this alone pretty much. I sure would appreciate any support I might get on this board. I'm real tired of the take a pill, get therapy and don't bother me with it attitude.
What I'm dealing with now is my 5 greedy siblings all trying to see who can get the most out of our Moms house. My dh has been constantly pushing me to make them stop doing something or telling me I need to tell them how things should be done. I have woken up anxious every morning since my mom died knowing theres going to be a hassle of some sort. Yesterday he was pushing me to talk to them about some lumber that had been cut off of my moms property. He was afraid I was going to lose some money. I finally lost it and told him to quit pushing me!! That of course resulted in a big lecture about how I needed to JUST QUIT stressing about everything. Were still barely speaking and that makes me anxious too. A month ago I ended up in the ER thinking I was having a heart attack and he sat there and harrassed me about my moms properties. No wonder the pain wouldn't go away. I still have it by the way. The Dr told him it was stress but hes still pushing! My dh has a very high paying job. I am going to recieve a substantial inhieritance from my Moms estate. He doesn't need to be pushing me to make sure I get every penny I can. I have not had a chance to grieve for my Mom. I am so tired of this constant anxiety and the aches and pains I get from stress. I just can't wait until the estate is settled and this is all over. If you made it all the way through this, (sorry its so long) thanks for listening to me. Grace

Hi, Grace! It's great that you found us. Sorry to hear about all the stress you're under. I wish you had more support from your dh, but many of us are kind of *on our own* when dealing with anxiety/panic issues. As for the loss of your mom, please accept my sincerest sympathy. I have no answer for what you're dealing with in the distribution of assets. It makes me so angry to hear that everyone puts so much intensity into matters after death. It wouldn't surprise me in the least to hear that your siblings were rarely that concerned when your mom was living): Call me naive, but what concern is any of this to your dh? Hmm...
Please continue to read the posts & join in our discussions. Drop into chats. We have a special one planned for tomorrow @ 12 noon eastern time. We'll give you the floor, if you'd like to share. As for dealing with anxiety issues, we're all works in progress. Take a look @ our *coping tips & tricks* folder below if you would rather not use the meds/therapy route. We'll support you in whatever methods you choose to find your balance. Good luck & GBU! (((hugs))) jan
Grace, I am so sorry to hear of the recent passing of your mom.
Sheri Ann
Hi Gracie and welcome, My name is Lynn
It sounds if we both went throught the same senro when my dad passed away.
You would think what everyone would want to do is comfort one another . NoOOO I found that
out the hard way and talk about cruel people well, I would do what you have to do, that
is good for you and not everyone else and what your mom would want you to do. and then
being good to your self will make you in control of you. I hope things get better and if
I can help in anyway let me know.
((((((((((((((BIG BIG HUGS)))))
Dear Gracie,
hi, i'm Nita, also new here. i always feel anxious when i reply because i'm afraid i'm saying something stupid!! but here goes...
first, i'm so sorry about your loss..i lost my parents a month apart 9 years ago, and it was so hard.
i didn't have much support either. i'm an only child and was going thru a divorce at the same time. boy, did my husband perk up and show interest when my parents passed, because he knew i was about to inherit everything!!
what came to my mind to say to you is to get some financial planning advice. i know for me, after my parents died, i couldn't think straight at all, and didn't have a plan for the assets i inherited, and didn't look ahead to my future. i don't know the status of your marriage or anything, but, i hope you will put a nest egg away for yourself just in case, so you'll have a secure future. just knowing that eases so much anxiety.
Bless you!
Nita