Help

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2003
Help
3
Tue, 03-28-2006 - 4:13pm

Hi,

I am looking for a place where I can belong. I was posting over on the depression board but one of the posters said that I sounded like I had more anxiety problems then depression. I feel that it is a mixture of both. I was diagnosed with stress induced depression three years ago and worked with a naturopath to mitigate the depression. The depression and anxiety was brought on because I had just had two small children and was living with my in-laws for five years while we were building a house. I also spent 10 months in a travel trailer with two small children while the house was being finished, that was a year ago.

I have been fighting the anxieties and depression on and off for this past year but I have yet to get it under control. I did have a counselor for a short time but she left and did not leave a forwarding address. We live way out in the country and for me to see a doctor or a counselor/therapist I would have to drive about an hour and I would have to hire a babysitter for two small children. We would not be able to afford to do that. My husband is the only one working because I want to stay home with my little ones.

It is very hard for me to get up in the morning I just do not have the energy but I do manage to do it because I have to. As soon as I am awake my stomach starts to hurt and I start to worry about everything. How am I going to get through the day? Am I do this right or that, will I make someone mad at me, will I do what ever I am doing right, is it the right way to do it. Then I get down on myself for not doing enough; I should be doing more but I am too tired. I will want to do something but remember that we can not afford it so I just do not do anything. I would rather just stay home. It is so hard to go anywhere with two small children and if we do go anywhere, I am exhausted when we get home. I feel uncomfortable around people and it is getting worse. I now feel uncomfortable around family and friends.

I am afraid to make decisions because I will have to live with the consequences late and I do not know if I could handle the consequences. A friend suggested that I take on a Psychiatric Service Dog. She has one and he helps her when she is out in public and when she is at home. The problem with me having one is with our new home my husband is adamant about not having ANY animals in the house. We do own a Labradoodle and a Standard Poodle and both stay outside most of the day which I like because they always alert me to if anyone is near or coming on the property. They are both a comfort to me in that no one can come near the property without us knowing it and both prefer to stay out side. We do kennel them at night as we have lot of wild life out here.

I am having the worst time today bouncing from bouts of crying to episodes of pure anxiety because I have found myself in a predicament. I was given the female Labradoodle by a lady that could not keep her, because she was allergic to her. There was some strings attached and to make a long story short. I find myself with 8 wonderful puppies. One of the pups I have fallen in love with. He is prefect and so well behaved with the little ones; my children are 4 and 6. My son is almost 7 and would be able to take the pup and show him in 4H next year. The litter was temperament tested and 6 of the 8 have perfect temperaments to become service/therapy dogs. The pup that I am dying to keep scored the highest but my husband will not allow the pup in the house. I know that he would make a good service dog for me because his mother on her own just recently mitigated an anxiety attack that I had. She has never been trained but she knew that it was come on before I did and keep barking at me and got me to sit down. She helped me to calm down and focus. I can not use her as a service dog as we have encouraged the barking and she will bark if anyone approaches. I am just heart sick about not being able to keep the pup. I think that he would help me to get out and go more places. I am just sick and feel like my world is crashing. I need to find away to get pass this. Let it go and just move on.

I am sorry if this post is a little confusing, I know I am throwing a lot of separate problems out there at once but I am just so confused and anxious.

Well, thanks for letting me post here.

RainydaysArgon

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2003
In reply to: rainydaysargon
Tue, 03-28-2006 - 4:44pm

Welcome to our group!

Sheri Ann

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
In reply to: rainydaysargon
Tue, 03-28-2006 - 4:53pm

Welcome to our community. I hope that reading past posts & looking through our *coping tips & tricks* folder below will be of some help to you. Join us

 

 


 



iVillage Member
Registered: 12-05-2005
In reply to: rainydaysargon
Wed, 03-29-2006 - 7:16am

Hello and welcome,
My name is Lynn and Boy even with all that has gone on in your life, boy you are a tough

lady and my hat goes off to you. Sheri Ann and Jan are great Ladies and they do know what

they are talking about. oww!! that hurt to say that LOL, no I love them to death they

seem to have the ability put things along with this board and aid you in the best

possible tools in thier power to begin to help you help yurself and with the help of

this great bunch of ladies here. Feeling like you yourself the way you deserve and I

wish I had as much strenght as you to maintain throught all that you seemed to surived.

Key word (((surived))) and yes depression to me is anexty. I know I have had my share of

crying spells. So I hope you will share your sirvial skills and in the process we will be

your best freinds and help you also. thank you for sharing so much bravery with us. I

hope you will post with us and become part of our family. Sorry being so lond winded.

((((BIG BIG HUGS))))

Lynn