hi, i'm new-anyone else not able to work

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2003
hi, i'm new-anyone else not able to work
11
Wed, 03-29-2006 - 11:55pm
my name's Nita and i just turned 44 on the 21st.
i have had an anxiety problem since i was a child. my dad was a WWII POW and my mother was very depressed. daddy instilled in me the belief that the world is a scary bad place full of mean, dangerous people. i am socially phobic in certain situations, especially in the workplace. i feel like a total freak. i haven't worked in 18 months, and my savings is almost gone. that in itself is freaking me out. i feel like there is no place where i belong and could function. i also have depression. i started taking lexapro 2 weeks ago, and that is helping somewhat with the panic attacks. last month, i had a severe attack that led to a migraine and really high blood pressure. i got so scared i called 911. what a mess!! sometimes, i drink too much and take one of my klonopin to calm down. then i call myself stupid the next day for doing that. sometimes, i just want to sleep away my life. i just want everything and everyone to leave me alone.
i unplug my phone and isolate too much. i am attending a job club at the agency where i see my psych nurse. hopefully, that will help me in some way to feel like i can work at some point.
this anxiety and fear has been a monkey on my back my whole life. i'm so sick of it.
thanks so much for listening to me vent.
Nita

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
Thu, 03-30-2006 - 9:13am

Hello, Nita! I'd like to say welcome back:) I am glad that you remembered us. It's sad to hear that you're still facing many of the same issues. People have been able to learn new coping skills & live with their anxiety issues.

 

 


 



iVillage Member
Registered: 06-11-2003
Thu, 03-30-2006 - 12:02pm

Oh Nita I am so sorry you are going Thur all of this. It can be so scary and so frustrating when we feel we have no control. There is hope though. For many years I would start a new job and then quit because of the attacks. My problem is all so social. Grocery stores or the mall would freak me out, or just talking to some one would make my heart race.

I was on disability for a little over a year. You know what is funny being on disability turned out to be my life saver. Can you speak with your doctor and tell them what is going on? If so you may be able to go on disability. During that time I would really suggest talking to a therapist. Being on disability helped me concentrate on "me"
But remember you have to seek help and get into some program unfortunately medication alone does not make it go away. Congivitive (sp) therapy I found works the best. What it does is helps you replace the negative thoughts into positive thoughts. A lot of times anxiety is just negative thoughts and feelings. Once you can replace them OH MY your life will be so much easier.

I am 35 and can now work full time in a job that I LOVE. Course I don't deal with people LOL I work with animals... animals don't judge you :)

There is hope and I can promise that. The first step is getting into the right kind of therapy that works for you and giving your self permission to take care of "YOU" its hard because guilt can be the enemy. I am not totally free of anxiety but I don't have those horrible attacks any more. I went a entire year with out one and since that one a couple weeks ago things have been back to normal.

Hang in there, There is a end to this, there is hope!!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2003
Thu, 03-30-2006 - 3:16pm
Hi Nita & welcome!

Sheri Ann

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2006
Thu, 03-30-2006 - 8:34pm
I know exactly what you're going through! Please try to stay positive - I know its hard to do - but it will get better. I haven't posted in a REALLY long time (just kind of lurking around here and there) but I wanted to offer you my support and let you know YOU ARE NOT ALONE! I agree with the other posters that cognitive behavioral therapy is really helpful. I think good nutrition and excercise is equally important. I can't really comment on the meds as I tried them (lots!) for many years and not only did they not work for me - I had some really bad reactions. If they are helping you you should take them but please, please be careful with the Klonopin (DON'T drink!)
I'm 34 and have had my anxiety disorder since I was about 18. What a roller coaster ride...there were times when I couldn't leave my house, couldn't stop crying, couldn't eat, couldn't sleep...and times when I couldn't go to school or work. I haven't worked in about three years because of the anxiety. When I did work it was extremely difficult for me. Its been a really slow process for me but I am making some progress (however small it may be!). I still tend to isolate myself from people and still avoid alot of social situations or things that might trigger my panick. But I am trying to be more positive and take tiny steps when I can...
You are NOT a freak! What is normal really anyway? I hope things get better for you...take tiny steps...and remember you are not alone!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
Fri, 03-31-2006 - 7:36am
Thanks for sharing your thoughts. You have alot of good advice. I am pretty darn nosey, sun_shinegirl:) Could you tell what sort of work you do with animals? I know of a
 

 


 



iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
Fri, 03-31-2006 - 7:39am
Welcome, treebreeze! It's great to see you;) We appreciate you sharing your experiences with the board. We hope you'll continue in our caring community. You have some valuable insights that others can use. Good luck & GBU! (((hugs))) jan




 

 


 



iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2003
Fri, 03-31-2006 - 11:32am

Welcome to the board! Thank-you for being so honest and open about your own experiences.

Sheri Ann

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2003
Fri, 03-31-2006 - 12:10pm

Nita, I posted this in the Anxiety & Phobia Workshop folder, but wanted to reiterate it here.

Sheri Ann

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2003
Fri, 03-31-2006 - 10:40pm
thanks so much for all the loving and supportive responses!! i feel good knowing i am not alone!
love,
nita
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2006
Sat, 04-01-2006 - 11:57am
Thanks for welcoming me! I'm a little shy about posting (and I've never been in a chat room before) ... but I just had to respond to Nita's post! I think its interesting that for most of us our anxiety started in our teens. Well, maybe I'll come out of lurking mode for a little while... I certainly have lots of questions and probably some things to share...

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