hi, i'm new-anyone else not able to work

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2003
hi, i'm new-anyone else not able to work
11
Wed, 03-29-2006 - 11:55pm
my name's Nita and i just turned 44 on the 21st.
i have had an anxiety problem since i was a child. my dad was a WWII POW and my mother was very depressed. daddy instilled in me the belief that the world is a scary bad place full of mean, dangerous people. i am socially phobic in certain situations, especially in the workplace. i feel like a total freak. i haven't worked in 18 months, and my savings is almost gone. that in itself is freaking me out. i feel like there is no place where i belong and could function. i also have depression. i started taking lexapro 2 weeks ago, and that is helping somewhat with the panic attacks. last month, i had a severe attack that led to a migraine and really high blood pressure. i got so scared i called 911. what a mess!! sometimes, i drink too much and take one of my klonopin to calm down. then i call myself stupid the next day for doing that. sometimes, i just want to sleep away my life. i just want everything and everyone to leave me alone.
i unplug my phone and isolate too much. i am attending a job club at the agency where i see my psych nurse. hopefully, that will help me in some way to feel like i can work at some point.
this anxiety and fear has been a monkey on my back my whole life. i'm so sick of it.
thanks so much for listening to me vent.
Nita

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2003
Sat, 04-01-2006 - 2:57pm

Yes, please come out of lurking & post :)

Sheri Ann

Pages