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| Sat, 04-15-2006 - 11:23am |
Hi all! I've been a regular iVillager for about 5 years on mostly the relationship and diet boards. Now I've discovered I may need this board. I love that iVillage exists and has helped me in so many ways.
My story:
Well, I finally had to call 911 on Wednesday night at 10:30 pm. I was quietly watching The Sopranos with a cat at my feet and one on my arm on the couch when my heart started racing out of control. This had happened a week prior and after several hours it stopped. But this time it was more intense and because it had happened previously, I just knew there must be something wrong with me. My heart rate was 148 when they got here and 145 at the ER. Blood pressure was 178/103 at one point. First they had me chew an aspirin, then they put nitropaste on me, then there were three or four injections to slow my heart down, then a potassium pill, and finally Xanax (which I loved!). I had an echocardiogram done and everything was fine - there is nothing wrong with my heart. When I left the next day, my heart rate was 79 and my blood pressure was 121/79. I am now on Toprol XL once a day for 10 days and then I have a follow-up to determine if I need it really or not. In the meantime, no more caffeine.
I've had mini attacks like this for a few years now. And they were infrequent. It would happen after a night of drinking, but not everytime. I'd go to bed and four hours later, my heart would be racing and my hands and feet would be hot. I'd lay on a cold floor or by an outside door and talk myself down. Eventually I stopped drinking. Then they would happen without drinking and I'd think it was a nightmare.
The doctor never did say I had a panic attack this week. I'm feeling like it definitely was but has anyone here been to the ER for one? I have never called 911 in my life and it took a lot to get me to that point. I never had shortness of breath or chest pain. I did walk myself to the ambulance. I didn't want anyone to carry my fat a&&! LOL When the paramedics filled in the ER nurse that I was "a perfectly healthy 40 year old", I said "No, I'm not. Dude, I'm fat." I weigh 245 and I'm 5'7. I feel awful about that every day but that's a whole 'nother story.
My job is very stressful. I am doing the work of two people and it finally caught up to me. I do have help coming in now on Monday - however, they brought the worst one possible in - a lady who doesn't like me and will try to sabotage me. She's a bully but at least now she's in a position that can't get me fired. I hope she's out of there in a week.
The other thing that may contribute to this is that I live alone and I hate it. I live in the most beautiful place yet I can't stand being by myself. And these things always happen at night. I don't get that. Never ever during the day.
Well I've blabbed on long enough. If you've lasted this long, any tips/advice/encouragement would be greatly appreciated. I've read some of the threads here and they helped me last night. I had another feeling of total dread come over me and I read some posts and they helped - alot!
Thanks for reading....
Lisa

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Thank you so much, Sheri Ann! You're so sweet to say that. I'm getting my resume together right now. And I just talked to my sister in Minnesota. I can stay in their basement (brand new house and super nice) for however long I want until I get back on my feet. Right now taking off from here and getting a bartending gig sounds pretty good to me. But honestly, I still need to be happy with myself somehow. I'm normally a happy go lucky, grass doesn't grow under my feet type of chick. I think this job has beaten it out of me or something. Or maybe I just want to blame the job....lol. Not sure.
Believe it or not - the back of the neck tattoo was my least painful one. In fact (and you're gonna think I'm crazy), it felt kinda good. That humming on the base of my skull was soothing to me. But I used to fall asleep on the transmission on the floor of our old family station wagon as a kid too. That's what it reminded me of. The foot one - that hurt the worst. But it's my favorite one. So far....lol.
Lisa
Hi Lisa!
I want a ladybug tattoo on my toe so bad, but we talked about it in chat (lol!) and I hear they wear off and are very painful so I think that one is on hold for now!
Don't make a quick decision about your future.
Sheri Ann
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Welcome Lisa, I enjoyed reading your post.
Amy
Welcome to the board Lisa!!
I think you will like it here there is a lot of support and tips to help you with anxiety.
Sounds like your job is definately contributing to your anxiety with all the stress. I notice you are getting some help with that now *but* the person may add some stress too! Hang in there, like you said she may be out soon.
Try and join a chat one night. (tues or thurs) Since you are home alone you might take comfort in joining us!!
Lisa
by the way I LOVE your name ;-)
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