Non-Social Personality
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Non-Social Personality
| Sun, 04-30-2006 - 10:23am |
I’ve always been a shy, introverted person…definitely not a social butterfly! Unlike most people I know, I truly enjoy being by myself most of the time. I’m independent and just don’t crave a lot of social interaction with friends. I’m perfectly fine having this kind of personality, but at the same time, I worry about what my friends think of me. They all enjoy doing things together and hanging out ALL THE TIME, but I just don’t need that. I do spend time with friends, and I usually have fun with them, but I always have to force myself to get out and socialize with them. It’s really hard to deal with this when everyone else is so eager for interaction. Sometimes, when friends call or knock on my door, I completely ignore them because I don’t want to be bothered. What’s wrong with me? I don’t really understand what causes me to be this way. Could it be some form of social anxiety disorder, or simply an introverted personality? The only people in my life that I’m always eager to spend time with are my husband and my family. Oh, and on a side note…I’m beginning to think that I’m the only person (in my age bracket) who hates places like clubs and bars. Half the time when my friends invite me out, they want to go to a club. I’ve tried going so many times over the years and hate it more and more each time I go. Doesn’t anyone think it’s fun to do other things like go out to eat, see a movie, go to the beach, or just chill out at home with friends??? It would be so much easier if I knew other people were like this, but I’m beginning to think it’s just me.

Hello & welcome :)
Sheri Ann
Hi! Nice to see you:) Like the old adage, *if it ain't broke, don't fix it,* if you're happy & contented with your life, then you are probably fine. Some folks will always be loners. Some will never get into the bar scene. I'm sure you've heard of high brow folks who attend concerts, operas or visit art museums. There is nothing wrong with them. Their lives simply have a different focus. BTW, there's nothing wrong with country music & pick up trucks, either;) If your concerns are interfering with your ability to function, then you might consider seeing a doctor. A thorough health check up never hurts. Here are some links to articles about social anxiety/phobia. You make the call from there. We care & want you to have a good life. Good luck & GBU! (((hugs))) jan
http://messageboards.ivillage.com/n/mb/message.asp?webtag=iv-bhpanic&msg=17253.1&ctx=4096
http://messageboards.ivillage.com/n/mb/message.asp?webtag=iv-bhpanic&msg=17207.1&ctx=4096
http://messageboards.ivillage.com/n/mb/message.asp?webtag=iv-bhpanic&msg=17197.1&ctx=4096
http://messageboards.ivillage.com/n/mb/message.asp?webtag=iv-bhpanic&msg=16701.1&ctx=4096
http://messageboards.ivillage.com/n/mb/message.asp?webtag=iv-bhpanic&msg=16272.1&ctx=4096
http://messageboards.ivillage.com/n/mb/message.asp?webtag=iv-bhpanic&msg=16133.1&ctx=4096
http://messageboards.ivillage.com/n/mb/message.asp?webtag=iv-bhpanic&msg=18245.1&ctx=0
http://health.ivillage.com/mentalhealth/mhphobia/0,,4qln,00.html
http://health.ivillage.com/mentalhealth/mhshy/0,,7lw0,00.html
http://health.ivillage.com/pain/0,,rrlr,00.html
http://health.ivillage.com/mentalhealth/mhanxiety/0,,4pc6,00.html
This is what I have been looking for. I am being treated for depression and anxiety. My therapists,my family my friends all want me to be social. Then it is a sign I am okay. But I don't like to go out and I rarely want to see anybody. So, it was great to hear about somebody else. But my friends don't understand and I am filled with anxiety trying to fit everybody in and yet I don't want to do any of it. Sure, I have okay time but I'd rather not be doing it. It is just a task completed until they ask again. How do you keep saying no to friends. I can't do it but I don't like my life having to see them.
Hello & welcome :)
Sheri Ann
Hello peanut & welcome. It's nice to have you here. I hope you will continue to post any questions or concerns. Our members are very generous in sharing their thoughts on anxiety issues.
Finding your comfort level, whether it be with others or alone is necessary to achieve balance in life. You should not have to make excuses to others if you truly enjoy being alone. I can't understand people who would make themselves annoying by insisting you join in their activities. Nor a therapist who will determine you are *well* if & when you join in the social scene. There will always be folks who are reclusive types. There's nothing wrong with that if you find contentment there. I am glad to hear that you're exploring the therapy option. It has been helpful to me & many in our community. But, if what you want to achieve is different than what your *T* wants & you have problems getting your point across, then searching for someone who accepts you might be an option. After all, it would be like someone imposing their religious beliefs on you. It simply isn't right. OTOH, if you are like Sheri Ann & myself & have had spells where leaving our safe havens & getting out is an exercise in sheer terror, then maybe your *T* is right. Our agoraphobia is real & if allowed to go unchecked, we would live in total isolation. If this interferes in living a full life, then it may be a problem. I hope I'm making sense:)
Anyway, we do have chats on Tues. & Thurs. evenings. Drop in when you can. We'll save you a seat. You are welcome to vent & hash this out with people who have BTDT. Good luck & GBU! (((hugs))) jan
Thank you Jan and Sheri Ann. It is so great to have someone who gets it. Although, there is low level anxiety just going to the drycleaners - I do go out. I even take acting classes and audition. Sure afterwards it is accompanied by obsessive thinking and just a slight panic attack. But that is really putting myself out there. In addition, to my fulltime job I have a very small part time job and need to work on my acting career business. And sure sometimes I do want to see friends but it is not a weekly thing. But I have 3 people who want to see me in one week - too much. But I think what I want is balanced.
I need to take care of me and I hope I do with your support.
One more thought. Are you married? Either I haven't found the right guy or this lack of desire for human companionship gets in the way lately. When I was younger, I could smother a guy. I am 39 now. I am dating someone now but I just don't need to see him twice a week or even once a week. Or maybe dinner would be fine but anything longer and I want to get back to work at home. He is a great guy, so, I haven't stopped dating him, but I think I have to say something about lessening how many times we see each other or just call it off. Sometimes I need human touch but I don't feel lonely.
Thank you so much.
Peanut
Facing the fears, knowing that you may experience anxiety is the way to go. I commend you
Yes, I am married.
Sheri Ann