Not doing well the past few days..
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Not doing well the past few days..
| Fri, 05-19-2006 - 12:37pm |
I have some anxiety, but its more like I just feel strange. My vision is off and my head feels foggy. I don't think I'm physically sick. I have the tightness in my chest, some pain and I'm light headed. All my phobia's have kicked in the past few days. I have a germ phobia and a need to keep everything clean. I have OCD also and drive myself and everyone else crazy having to have everything lined up and perfect. Even in a restraunt I have to have the paper placemats perfectly lined up and the silverware straight. Sometimes I can over come this but not when I feel like this. All throw rugs, curtains etc have to be laying and hanging perfectly straight. Does anyone else have this problem? I also count alot. When I rinse anything out I have to do it 3 times and count when I do it. This is terrible! After I clean a room I have to keep going back to make sure everything is still clean and straight. My dh wants a house thats " lived in " and I have to keep it too clean. Its mostly when I'm anxious and feel off like this. Earlier this week I redid one of our bedrooms. Painted, new border, made a quilt for the bed, hung new curtains etc. I have worn myself out going back upstairs and checking that room!! Its a guest\grandkids room, no one has used it since I did it! I wish I could just relax and enjoy life like other people do. It will get better once the anxiety passes. Its just so frustrating. I'm going to go clean now and probably cry while I do it. Just needed to unload, thanks for listening. Sharon

I don't really have any advise,as I am also looking for some.I also feel off and in a fog,and not like myself.When I get like this I tend to obsess over health issues,although all my anxiety and anxious feeling are heightened to the max right now,I will keep checking to make sure the door is locked,burners haven't been bumped to the on position,heats not up to high on the thermostat.I will keep getting out of bed to go check all these things.Its like my mind is driven by a motor and I JUST CANT CONTROL IT.I count everything,and trace the outlines of things with my eyes.To distract myself from all this stuff,I will clean.I am getting ready to paint my dd room and recarpet.I just hate feeling this way.I feel helpless and like I am living a gray dark life right now;(I am very sad...
Jeanie
I understand how you feel, totally.
Sheri Ann
I do the door thing, too.
Sheri Ann
I'm sorry to hear this, Sharon. I too am a counter): I have to count the number of police cars parked @ the station. If traffic is moving quickly & I can't get my count completed, I have to go back around the block & start again. Noone except another counter can understand how frustrating it is, when we have to count & re-count. Also, those little things like a rug that needs straightening, over & over, because others just don't get it, makes me so angry & tense. I swear it contributes to my many bodily aches & pains): Not to mention the exhaustion from doing too much.
Is something stressing you out? Any big changes, setbacks, disappointments that might have triggered this bad spell? For me, not getting enough sleep is a major trigger. I think that meditating is what brings my thoughts into some control. Not always or completely. I hope you will try it & the belly breathing if you can. For now, I am keeping you in my T&P's. I hope this passes quickly. The tears are a good way to release the pent up feelings & can be healing. Try not to hold them back. Good luck & GBU! Keep us updated on how you're feeling. (((hugs))) jan
Hi Jan, Yes something is stressing me out and I guess this is the board where I could talk about it and be understood. Actually I've been stressed for over a year about my step daughters wedding. The closer it gets the worse I feel. I was invited to the wedding but am not welcome. I decided I would have less anxiety by staying home so will not attend. I'll try to make the reason I'm not welcome as brief as possible. My dh had been divorced for 12 yrs when we met. Because of the kids he and his ex had an on going relationship even living together off and on. When I met him they were not living together and had not even spoken for several months.(I was not aware of their on going relationship when I first began dating him.) Once she found out he was seeing me she made my life miserable. Even afer we were married she continue to bother us. Finally she was transfered out of state on her job and eventually remarried. She told alot of lies about me and dh during this period of time. Her family and friends which will be the main part of the wedding guests really dislike me. There are only 3 guests from dh's family, none from mine, and of course the grooms family and I know none of them. After months of stressing I decided not to attend. Now I'm stressing because the wedding is at a ski lodge over an hour away. dh will be gone the whole eve of the wedding rehearsal and again the next day for the wedding and reception. Most of the wedding guests are staying at the lodge over night, Dh said he will be coming home as its too expensive. I know its his dd and hes giving her away and he needs to be there. I just can't help stressing about it. Theres really nothing I can do at this point but get through it.
All this comes on the heels of several deaths in the past year. I lost 2 very close girl friends, One only 58 the other 61. My x son in law was shot in the head and robbed, My mom died the end of Jan, and 2 neighbors we were close to in the past few months. There is something else stressing me also but I can't talk about it right now.I definitely will need to later. I'm just at a point where I have to deal with it and get through all of this. I really believe the Lord will hold me up and things will get better once all this is over. I"ve been telling my dh I need to get away but he doesn't seem to understand why I would be so stressed. Hes just so wrapped up in this wedding he can't see past that. I just want this wedding done and behind me!!!
I have been crying. When I'm alone. If I didn't I would explode! Thanks for listening to me. Its so good to have found people who understand. Its good to know other people have this OCD. I guess my number is 3. Thanks again, Sharon
GRACIE
You certainly have been through alot recently.
Sheri Ann
WOW! You are on overload, Sharon. No wonder the OCD is back. You will need to pull out all the coping skills to get through this rough patch. What has worked the best for you in the past? Are those skills working for you now? Do you need to learn some new ones? If so, chat is a good place to pick up some ideas & a whole lot of support from our community. Hope to see you there!
I am with you on a getaway. I am also big on finding *me* time. Sorry dh has his focus on the wedding. You may need to be more forceful about what you need @ this time & push yourself to the forefront. In spite of the fact that you won't be going to the wedding, you are still a worthwhile person with needs that should be met. You deserve a little TLC. Give yourself some!
I am sorry for all that has transpired. My sympathies to you. We have another member sstitch(Debbie) who lost her gramma to violent crime. That's rough): I am glad that you were able to share what's happening. Vent anytime. That's why we're here. Good luck to you. Please don't be a stranger. (((hugs))) jan
Thank all of you who have responded to my post. Chat has been mentioned several times and I don't want you to think I'm ignoring that. Once My hubby gets home from work I am not allowed on the computer much. He says I have all day to be on it so its his in the eve. I am usually in bed shortly after nine anyhow.
This board has helped me alot already. Just knowing there are people to talk to who share my problem helps. I have a wide circle of girl friends but none of them really understand. They do try though. If you don't have the problem you really don't understand why going or not going to a wedding is so upsetting. I can't really talk to them about it. I just plan to use the time to do some nice things for myself. I just wish it was over. I've been dreading this for over a year! I just want to have it done with.
I have alot of stress in my life on a daily basis. I am 61 yrs old, I was diagnosed with anxiety/ panic disorder over 30 yrs ago. I have 5 children,11 grand children,1 great grandchild and 2 more greats expected this yr. I also have 2 stepdaughters. My dh and I have been married 11 yrs. My ex and I are still good friends, we had a long marriage that just wore out and parted in agreement. My oldest dd has diabetes , high blood pressure and is obese, I worry about her constantly. I have 3 other dd's and one son. My son has lymphatic lukemia. He is in remission right now. He spent all of last year having chemo. He had been in remission for 4 yrs prior to that. His wife dos not like our family and has threatended to take the kids if he doesn't stay away from us. I have to sneak to his job to see him. His illness breaks my heart but not being able to be around him makes it worse. I lost my Mom unexpectedly in Jan. She was 81 but had always been very heathy. She had advanced colon cancer and lived 2 weeks after she was diagnosed. We are still working on settling her estate which has been very stressing also. Sometimes it feels like just one more thing will be the straw that broke the camels back, yet somehow I get through. I thank God for that. Finding this board and having people who understand has been a God send! I hope I can be there for others as they have for me on this board. thanks, Sharon
GRACIE
Sharon, like many of us, you have so much going on.
Sheri Ann