having trouble. cant get through morning

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Registered: 08-22-2003
having trouble. cant get through morning
5
Wed, 05-24-2006 - 10:19am
my panic and anxiety is here full blown. this morning at 7:30 i was good and positive. still havent heard from my husband. its 9am there. why isnt he calling. i picked up the phone twice and put it down but it is getting harder and harder. i finally heard from the therapy group. waiting for her to call me today. cant leave the house until i do. i dont want to call my husband. i want to be strong. this should be no big deal right. my mind wont stop. thinkng and thinking anout it. obsessing actually. i have ativan to take but i am trying not to take it. especially if i have to talk to the therapist. i want to be clear headed.i feel like i am going to scream.
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Registered: 07-13-2003
Wed, 05-24-2006 - 10:53am

It is a good thing that you are going to talk to a therapist. Keep focused on that one good thing. What kinds of things are you doing to keep yourself busy??

I understand what you are feeling waiting for your husband to call. It can be the worst! When I have been in this situation I found it better to NOT call. Eventually he will wonder why you haven't called and get on the phone! This will bring you some satisfaction for sure.

Hang in there,

Lisa

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Registered: 08-22-2003
Wed, 05-24-2006 - 11:16am
as i was reading your reply he called. he said he didnt call last night because we both agreed that we needed a break. of course i say one thing but expect another which is one of my problems. i started to cry on the phone to him which i didn't want to do. he told me to stop thinking about him so much. he has been away before it was never a big deal. he said to just get on with my life. i said should we just not talk at all until he comes home next sunday. he said no. he said he would call me to keep in touch but for me to just get on with my life. he said to stop thinking and worrying about it so much. meanwhile when i hung up the phone with him i broke down and cried. i am so tormented. and i am doing it to myself. i am home from work on disability until next tues because i had foot surgery. i cant wait to go back to work. too much idle time on my hands now. this is ridiculous. i know it is. i am pathetic. i am going to cause him to hate me and i cant seem to stop it.
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Registered: 04-18-2003
Wed, 05-24-2006 - 12:23pm

I am sorry you are suffering like this.

Sheri Ann

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Registered: 03-28-2003
Wed, 05-24-2006 - 1:34pm

Now that you mentioned the foot surgery I agree it could be the pain med if your on any. I fell down the stairs and broke my shoulder blade a couple years ago and the pain med did that to me. I finally had to give up the "good stuff" and just use Aleve. I noticed it with my neighbor who had knee surgery too. She keeps getting crying jags.

I feel sooo bad for what your going through. Its really hard when the person who makes us feel safe goes away. I think we make up things in our mind that we think they are doing because were angry that they aren't here keeping us safe. From your dh's point of view, thats alot of pressure we put on them. I guess we have to put ourselves in their shoes for awhile. No one enjoys being responsible for another persons emotion well being. I'm so glad your seeing a counselor. I hope you can just let your dh do the calling while hes away. Let him wonder what your doing when your not calling him. Try to find things to keep busy and the time will pass more quickly. Sharon

GRACIE

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Registered: 05-27-2003
Wed, 05-24-2006 - 8:31pm

i'm right there with ya! even thought my anxieyt is surrounding my pregnancy and not my spouse, but i am just as anxious as you....I feel like i am the worse ever and no one else has ever been this anxious before. i fear that i am going crazy, and am actually contipalting going to do a php (partial hospitalization program) after i see my therapist tomorrow.