doing better today

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-22-2003
doing better today
4
Thu, 05-25-2006 - 6:57am
hi all i finally got a therpay appointment. today at 3:30p. i felt instant relief. in answer to the pain meds. yes i was taking vicodin for a bit. also, i have just started taking premarin for early menapause. so i know these crying bouts are not just my siuation. i am making a list today to share with my therapist of the things about myself i would like to work on. on the top of the list is i want to stop obsessing. again, i have no proof of infidelity but yet i have managed to conjur up a full blown affair and obsess about it daily. to the point where my husband doesnt want to be around me. i even rationalized briefly that he is not being mean to me. he is just stating that he needs a break from me. if i stand back and review i can see his point. every damn day i am talking about something megative to him and crying and interrogating. i guess i would need a break from that also. he said that he would call me every couple of days to check in. on the other hand my gut instinct has told me that something was just not right. what i want to work out in therapy is to move past that. if something is going on then i want to be able to say its his problem and shame on him. right? he will have to deal with looking me in the face. but again. i have absolutley no proof. who knows, maybe once i get a grip on my emotions and i have learned how to be happy with just myself things in the marriage will fall into place. will have no internet till monday. going to shelter island for the weekend. thanks all for listening.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2003
Thu, 05-25-2006 - 10:13am

It sounds like your head is in the right place.

Sheri Ann

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-22-2003
Thu, 05-25-2006 - 12:51pm
going to shelter island with my brothers wife and and our kids. i am looking forward to it. no he is at an impala convention in missouri and then the 2nd week he will be on a ranch in texas. his being away was never really a problem in the marriage. he is an avid car buff and a hunter, fisherman, etc. i am doing good by not calling him. havent spoke to him since yesterday. told him of my appointment and i told him that i really wanted to resolve some of my issues and insecurities. i also told him that if it ever came out that my intstincts were right and he was unfaithful i told him i would forgive him for the act because i know that it happens. buti told him i dont think i could forgive him for making me think i was crazy.funny enough i havent heard from him since. maybe he is doing some thinking. at this point i dont know what to think so i am going to work on not thinking about it at all. maybe we will go the whole weekend without talking. maybe that will be a good thing for us both.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2003
Thu, 05-25-2006 - 2:18pm

I am so happy that you are going away this weekend.

Sheri Ann

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-13-2003
Thu, 05-25-2006 - 2:32pm

I am glad you are feeling better today. It sounds like you are making progress and your list for the therapist is a great place to start. I truly feel for what you are going through and hope only for the best!!

Hugs,
Lisa

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