Had a minor setback..

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-21-2000
Had a minor setback..
6
Mon, 05-29-2006 - 1:00pm

I was paying the telephone and the cable bills today, and mind you, I wasn't so much stressed, because I was having to dish out money. Believe it or not, I was starting to get a little stressed, because I was timing myself in how fast I would finish writing the bill up! How stupid is that? To tell you the truth though, I was remembering one of my temp postions where I was working as a Collections Representative/assistant in a rental car agency. I remember there were some very harrassing co-workers (temps also) who were saying how slow I was. I thought to tell you the truth it didn't matter, because my bosses weren't really complaining, but when I went to another department, and stuffed letters for them. Those people actually complained that I was stuffing envelopes too slowly. Luckily though, the temp position ended before they had more reason to complain. The bad thing though was that I just started in that department, but the pressure to perform..geesh! Anyway, when I was in that dept, I was there for only a week, so not much time to really perform anyway!

This kind of goes back to the Psychologist appointment where he said that I was having performance anxiety issues, because of the Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD). I mean, I know that I'm not being timed in reality when I wrote up the bills, but I was hoping just to practice to see how I would approach this situation. My psychologist told me that the GAD can be resolved through breathing exercises and surrounding myself with a positive support system (e.g., New Mothers Support Group, etc.), so what I did to resolve this was to practice breathing exercises at least once a day until I had no worries. Also, when I started feeling stressed during the paying of the bill, I started breathing heavily, and forced myself to concentrate on forcing myself to trust myself on paying the bill correctly. I also forced myself to put the record to the bill in my files, which actually made me feel better, but now, these questions loom in my mind.

How can I find out if the breathing exercises are actually working before getting fired at another job? I've been practicing the breathing exercises/yoga since May 8th (1x/day) when will I start to feel the full effects? Other than my single friends, and my family, who still stresses me out, I haven't been able to find a real solid support system..I mean, I have 1-3 friends with new babies who are married, but haven't really been able to get together with them; however, I'm learning to enjoy some of the lighter things in life (e.g,. food channel, the ability to start another career with my background, etc.), and therefore not really worrying about what might happen so much, so I am improving..still attributing this to the breathing exercises.

I guess for now, I'm trying to avoid too many trips to the Psychologist just because overall, my dh and I together are not earning that much money. Just wanted to ask y'all how long you think it might take for me to get over this performance anxiety, etc.?

Sorry this is so long! Hope everyone is having a good holiday weekend!

Yaddiya

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
Mon, 05-29-2006 - 9:37pm

From what I gather, Yaddiya, you were able to *re-create* the anxious feeling you have when being pressured to perform under a time element. That's not a positive. We need to separate our mind from the anxiety & that's when the breathing should kick in. I am sure you're doing it correctly, but it isn't kicking in like it's second nature. You may need to practice it more. I would suggest that you get more help from your

 

 


 



iVillage Member
Registered: 01-21-2000
Mon, 05-29-2006 - 10:43pm

Well, admittedly, my parents and my dh are all listening to my problem, and they all think that I should just concentrate on the present. My parents are willing to help me monetarily with Nursing School, and they've volunteered to help baby sit for our new baby once she arrives (nope, baby hasn't arrived yet, still waiting). My parents, being my parents, gave the usual shpeel about how they struggled to arrive to the U.S., and helped combat their fears and setbacks with daily prayer. My father, being the smart man that he is, equated daily prayer with meditation and yoga. he said that I should feel better if I practice it everyday, or more religiously especially since it was recommended by the doctor. My psychologist had also suggested Progressive Relaxation exercises, and he also recommended doing breathing exercises at least 3x daily, but mainly his recommendation was 3x/day breathing and positive support network. I've only been practicing this breathing 1x/daily, and also, I have to admit, I haven't been that religious in terms of the Yoga practice, which he didn't recommend, but he agreed with me that this could definitely help. I think I only practiced Yoga 3-4 times since the early May appointment. My dh says that I can't be good at everything, and besides, he admits that I had been through a lot especially with my experience in the Navy living overseas. He said I need to lighten up, and not treat this so seriously. My brother and his wife do not know about my GAD diagnosis yet, but they do know about my professional struggles. My SIL tells me that I shouldn't be afraid and just move on.

Yeah, you're right. I need to separate reality from those re-created fears. I'll practice the 3x/daily breathing techniques, and I'll work at it! I guess I'll also have to do the Yoga thing too more religiously! As Yoda says, "Do or do not, there is no try!" Thanks again for the encouragement!

Yaddiya

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2003
Tue, 05-30-2006 - 12:31am

I think you need to do the breathing exercises more often, until they become 2nd nature to you.

Sheri Ann

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
Tue, 05-30-2006 - 1:10am

WOW! You have had some past stressors! I can see where they may have contributed to your current anxiety. That is wonderful about your parents helping you with school & the baby. Consider yourself very lucky! Your dad may be on to something when he feels that meditation & yoga & daily prayer are equal. We have folks that use their daily devotional as part of their coping. In time, I am sure that you will find that balance we all are searching for. Your baby's birth may bring positive changes to your anxiety. I wish you luck.


Only you know Yaddiya, how the anxiety is affecting you. I wish I had a penny for everytime my mother has told me to quit worrying about things. If I could quit, believe me, I would have done it long ago. LOL I don't think you're taking this too seriously. Nor, do I think you're able to *move on* until you come to terms with the stressors that have contributed to your current anxiety. Don't allow others to put you on a time table either! Please rely on us more if you need, too. If you need to vent, that's why we're here. We care. (((hugs))) jan


 

 


 



iVillage Member
Registered: 01-21-2000
Tue, 05-30-2006 - 10:45am

My dh and I are having a girl. I'm supposed to be induced on either the 7th or 8th of June depending on whether or not they're going to have that many deliveries in L/D at the hospital. Hopefully, I'll have the baby before then. I want to try to avoid being induced and have as natural of a birth as possible...not like I'm refusing the epidural mind you! Heck, what can I say, I'm a wimp for pain! ;0)

Also, another thing going on is I'm going for an interview which just happens to be on June 6th for the local health department doing what I did in my first job in Agriculture. I'm trying not to let what happened in the past influence me in this position. If I were to get this position, then I may have to delay taking the undergrad pre-requisites for nursing school. At least, I think for the first semester. I'm going to assume that I will be given 3-6 months to perform, and then from there, if I get hired, start taking pre-req classes for the undergrad school that Jan '07. Of course, I wouldn't know if they would hire me considering I'm pg, which I know they will never tell me that was the reason I wasn't hired. Anyway, the fact that I wouldn't want to start until Sept '07 may deter them still from hiring me, but hey, it's a risk I gotta take. Still though, there is another temp position which I can do in Sept, and that same temp position is welcoming me back, so I might just work there for close to a year (saving money) while taking those pre-requisites, which hopefully will only be anywhere from 2-4 classes, and if everything goes as planned, go to nursing school full-time by May '07 assuming I can get in that term! So much happening though!

Thanks for listening though as well as for the encouragement!

Yaddiya

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-21-2000
Tue, 05-30-2006 - 10:50am

Thanks for your kind words. Yeah, it was tough living overseas, but at the same time, I had some wonderful experiences traveling! A lot of my decor is from Asia, and I absolutely love it!

I'm glad that I found this board, and people who care. This means so much to me! Thanks again!

Yaddiya