worry over nothing!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-29-2003
worry over nothing!
11
Sun, 06-04-2006 - 9:05pm

Hey there,

Hope you all had a nice weekend.

OK, here is my same ol, same ol. Just got off the phone with a friend of mine, and she sounded funny. I am so hypersensitive to people's tones, that I immediatly think I did something wrong. I can' t imagine what I did, but in my tiny brain, I think it must be something. Maybe I said something she didn't like, maybe she just doesn't like me. I called her over the weekend, and she didn't call me back.
(i know, she was probably busy, and didn't have time to call back. I do the same thing sometimes. sometimes I even think I am afraid of the phone.)

Oh boy, here comes the rumination! I am so tired.

Any positive words would help. You all are such a comfort.

xo, JD

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-10-2005
In reply to: jlvst
Sun, 06-04-2006 - 9:19pm

I know this is so much easier said than done, but you really need to try and not overthink things with your friends.

Check out my blog! A Hesitant Housewife
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2003
In reply to: jlvst
Mon, 06-05-2006 - 10:30am

Hi JD,

I do this all the time too. Especially with my boyfriend. I was even doing it last night. What I try to tell myself is that, most likely, if someone seems to sound funny or have a strange tone, there might be something going on, but it's probably with them, and not something I did. For example, when my boyfriend is quiet, I assume he is mad at me, but it's usually because he is just tired or has a headache. Most of the time I assume it has something to do with me, but it usually doesn't. I think the same is probably true for you and your friend. Maybe she had a rough day or something, and just had a lot on her mind. Or maybe nothing was wrong at all, you just perceived a funny tone of voice. I know I am super-sensistive and sometimes think I notice things that aren't really there. Assume that things are fine unless she tells you otherwise. :-)

C

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2003
In reply to: jlvst
Mon, 06-05-2006 - 10:54am

Hi & welcome!

Sheri Ann

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2003
In reply to: jlvst
Mon, 06-05-2006 - 10:57am

Hi JD, I very rarely talk to any of my friends on the weekends.

Sheri Ann

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-29-2003
In reply to: jlvst
Mon, 06-05-2006 - 11:33am
I know, I know. I couldn't agree with you more. I just wish my "non-realistic" brain would start to believe it. God, I have such a grasp on what is reality and what is not. When the anxiety talks, it just takes over, and I can't stop it. Sucks.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2003
In reply to: jlvst
Mon, 06-05-2006 - 11:37am

JD, the lexapro has made me totally stop having these thoughts.

Sheri Ann

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-29-2003
In reply to: jlvst
Mon, 06-05-2006 - 1:54pm

Thanks! I totally agree with you, but the wonderful advice never seems to stick!!! How do I make it stick? I think I just need to work through the fear of people being mad at me or not liking me. It's a part of life, and I am driving myself crazy trying to please everyone. Thanks again for the sweet message. I really appreciate it.

xo, JD

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-29-2003
In reply to: jlvst
Mon, 06-05-2006 - 1:55pm

I HEAR YA!

Lexapro really didn't help me. Right now I am on Paxil, and it's made a difference, but the rumination still comes and goes.

ugg.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-02-2003
In reply to: jlvst
Tue, 06-06-2006 - 7:50am
I have not read any of the post in answer to yours but I for one think we are a people who are all hypersensitive. I find that I wear my feelings onmy cuff alot, especially here lately. I do think we are very unique in certain areas, like perfectionist, pick up on feelings etc. Look how sensitive we are to the smallest change in our bodies. I said all of this to say, you are definately not alone. If this woman was your find she still is. Try not to be so hard on your self. spoken from soneone who knows LOL HAGD Debbie

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-21-2005
In reply to: jlvst
Fri, 06-09-2006 - 2:55am
I'm new to this board but oh boy do I know those crazy worrying thoughts! I've done a lot of cognitive work and intellectually get that if there's any problem (unlikely), I can deal with it... except for my nasty little voice can be so unrelenting at times! Meds have helped. It's like "Oh, that's what you mean by 'let go'" ... I can actually stop thinking about whatever it is that set me off. But this last week felt more like usual... I don't want to have to increase my dose. I feel on edge, jumpy, and raw... any perceived or potential negativity sets off my insecurities. I can see that no matter how well things might be going in my life, when I feel this way, my mind will find things to harp on. I'm trying to figure out how to deal with it (like avoiding my boss so I don't break down crying in front of her)... and hoping it will go away (cuz I can't avoid my boss forever!). I wish I had more control over it. Sometimes, I think about my panicky feelings as a head cold. It warps my thinking abilities for a week or so but eventually it clears up. I need to mark a calendar so that I can look back at times when it felt like the mental pressure was endless and then to see that it did in fact let up. I can look forward to that time and meanwhile treat myself gently and take care myself as I would if I had a cold or flu.

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