vulnerability and agoraphobia

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2005
vulnerability and agoraphobia
8
Mon, 06-12-2006 - 9:59pm
HI,
I am hoping everyone is well. My question is about the panic that I am feeling when I think about going out,especially with new people. Is it true that the more vulnerable you feel, the more social anxiety you experience? I am having a hard time going out with a man that I have been friends with for months; we haven't gone out that much, but it seems that I freak out whenever I think about going, and I don't know why. He doesn't know that I have an anxiety disorder...and we are friends.
Also, I am trying to find single people to hang around with in my area, and I joined a meetup group. But, the events are centered around drinking and bars (I've never been a drinker) and to be surrounded by strangers far from home, not being familiar with the area and people totally scares me. Is that normal? Or am I just being a baby? I want so much to meet new people, but there is no one in my area. I'd have to travel into Boston, which I can't do. I am so frustrated because I want to reach out to others, but have such a hard time doing so. Any advice would be appreciated. I'm just tired of being alone so much. I am beating myself up for these feelings too, which I know doesn't help anything.
Susan
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-10-2005
Tue, 06-13-2006 - 9:46am
how about a book group?
Check out my blog! A Hesitant Housewife
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2003
Tue, 06-13-2006 - 1:43pm

Hi Susan!

Sheri Ann

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2003
Tue, 06-13-2006 - 1:47pm

Kel, those were some great ideas! I especially like the college class one.

Sheri Ann

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2005
Tue, 06-13-2006 - 8:23pm
thank you for your ideas...I am not really in good physical shape, I have about 30 pounds to lose, so maybe finding some activity outside will help with my self esteem and help me lose the weight! I work a lot of hours, so I'm not sure if a class would be fun for me. I have spent years in school, and just need a break right now...but maybe I'll do the book club thing...I actually know someone who is in one and enjoys it. As far as telling my friend about my anxiety, I don't know if he would understand. He is such a different personality from me, and I fear that we will not be friends anymore. He asks me to go out every weekend, but I feel so scared. Anyway, maybe I'll take some of your good suggestions. Thank you again. Susan
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
Wed, 08-02-2006 - 2:53pm
Hi, Susan! Just wondering how things are going for you. Have you made any changes in your social activities? Are you still seeing the new guy? If I hadn't suggested it before, I wanted you to know that there's a Self Esteem Support board & issues of meeting new folks are discussed over there quite a bit. Here's the link: http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-bhselfesteem
 

 


 



iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2005
Wed, 08-02-2006 - 8:12pm

HI Jan,

Thank you for sending me the like to the self esteem board. I'll be sure to check it out. It has been hard, as I have tried to date (blind dates) and it has been hard. But, I am doing it, and refuse to settle for less than what I deserve (for once)! So, there is no one in particular that I am dating on a regular basis now. I hate to admit it, but I just haven't felt anything for the people that I have been out on dates with (except anxiety!). I am still comparing them to the one that broke my heart.

Your thoughtfulness is appreciated, and I look forward to learning more about the self esteem board!

take care, susan

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
Wed, 08-02-2006 - 8:27pm

YVW:)


"I am doing it, and refuse to settle for less than what I deserve (for once)! " I am so happy to hear this. All of us with anxiety should take notes from you. You are beginning to love yourself. Whoo Hoo! Good luck! (((hugs))) jan





 

 


 



iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2005
Thu, 08-03-2006 - 7:26pm

Jan-

How you make me blush :) thanks for being so supportive of me! take care. Susan