Did this today, is this normal????

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-27-2005
Did this today, is this normal????
7
Wed, 06-21-2006 - 1:27pm

I wanted to come here and express myself, and get some feedback. I had to be there at the downtown area this morning for some paperwork b4 I start my new job.

I have my own car. The place (never been there) was about 20 min away according to directions. I freaked out thinking...what if I dont find parking there? What if I get lost? etc etc etc. And I called a TAXI!! (EEEks) It's the first time ever I backed out from something I perceive as a "challenge" and took the easy way out.

Spent $50 on it...back n forth!!!! Oh my God. I am crazy right? I cant even afford that, yet I did it, coz I felt I just couldn't do it without losing my mind. I am so foolish to have spent that money to go somewhere in my own city.....when I have my own car. This was the first time I ever did such a thing...

The peace of mind I felt when I had someone else doing the driving was *priceless* though. I WISH sometimes I were this rich girl and I could keep a driver. So I dont have to worry bout stress and anxiety on the roads anymore.

I started feeling the anxiety when I woke up this morning. I HATE driving in traffic. I HATE getting lost (which I almost always do anytime I am going to a new place). I get all frazzled and stressed out. I lose time, and my peace of mind. I can literally feel the panic rising in me anytime I take the wheel in traffic. It's as if I have to be "on edge" every second of my way. I get startled easily....when all of a sudden someone cuts me, or changes lanes without signalling, or I have to change lanes and can't at the last minute. When I am very comfortable with where I am going and there aren't many challenges then I am much better off, or when I have company beside me. But alone, I just get all worked up and mess up things even more in my anxiety. Like, I will get confused, and take the wrong way. Or I will hesitate on the road and mess things up further. It's not that I am a bad driver. Infact people have complimented me on my driving. I have never gotten a traffic ticket yet. Got into an accident once several years ago when I was 19 (bad judgment error). I am a very patient, and careful driver. But high volume traffic, and being by myself, and going to an unfamiliar place....and looking for signs and making split second decisions...exhausts me...and confuses me.

Thought on this? What can I do to cope?

I think I have an anxiety problem....but am not sure where I fall on the spectrum....as in how serious it is. I also feel considerable social anxiety. I am a worrier too. And low confidence....is something that ofcourse never helps.

It's very paradoxical....that people see me as a very laid-back and easy-going person.....but I perceive myself as someone that can't really relax...and is on edge all the time...

Maybe they see a calm disposition on the outside...
But inside, I totally feel the raised heartbeats and shallow breathing, which they cannot perceive I think.

Thank you for any insights/help/opinions........
:-(

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2003
Wed, 06-21-2006 - 2:05pm

Hi & welcome to our community!

Sheri Ann

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-27-2005
Wed, 06-21-2006 - 2:35pm

Hi Sheri Ann, Thanks for replying.
Yeah, once I am there *once* then it certainly gets "easier". I think the major part of the anxiety is not knowing where I am going and fear of making mistakes. After that first time struggle, if I have to go to the same place again, I feel more "secure" but still, the anxiety doesn't vanish totally. I am not even talking "normal" levels of anxiety. Well, I don't know if everyone feels that anxiety....so I wouldn't know what's normal. But, an anxiety that literally makes me worked up, and fear the outcome and *avoid* going out. I guess, getting lost several time before, has put that fear in me. As an example, I have been postponing visiting a friend of mine...who lives about 45 min away. I hv never been there, and he gave me directions, yet I am postponing it. Just thinking bout it gets me anxious.

I always have to take directions from the internet and have to leave way early, but even with directions, I still feel that anxiety. Becoz neither are the directions perfect, nor the road conditions. And I always end up taking the wrong turn, or missing the building.
Something or the other goes wrong that first time.

I hv never been to a therapist. What kind of therapist would be good for such issues?
How do I identify such a therapist. Since I might not be able to afford a therapist is one reason I did not pursue it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-25-2005
Wed, 06-21-2006 - 9:55pm
Hi I can relate to your driving anxiety!!!
I would suggest talking with your regular doctor if
you have one. The doc could probably recommend someone
for you to talk to. A cognitive therapist might be the
best way to go since your anxiety is related to a specific
thing. Making mistakes is part of living!!! IT DOES NOT MAKE
YOU A BAD PERSON! KEEP TRYING!!
As for seeing that friend of yours--- do you have a cell phone?
If you do perhaps you could talk to him on the way there???
or if you do happen to feel you are lost call him then?
Just some thoughts for you!!
Try not to be so hard on yourself at least you are trying!!!
I would talk to your doctor about this however--- take care and let us
know how you are doing!! Judy
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2005
Wed, 06-21-2006 - 10:01pm

Gal when I use to drive, which I no longer due because of PTSD, if i had to go somewhere i had never been i drove there and found the place at least a day before i needed to go. That way I knew where I was going and would not get lost.

Keitha

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-27-2005
Wed, 06-21-2006 - 11:59pm

Thanks Judy...Yeah...u r right, atleast I am trying (when I do). Just that....many times I give up and don't even try, to "avoid" that feeling of extreme anxiety. I hate myself when that happens. I feel like everyone is normal except me, and I can't even measure up and do the simple things in life that others dont seem to hv a problem with at all.

yeah, I will certainly keep CBT in mind. Thanks for pointing that out to me...

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2003
Thu, 06-22-2006 - 10:41am

Alot of mental health clinics have sliding scale fees, perhaps there's one in your town?

Sheri Ann

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
Thu, 06-22-2006 - 11:08am
Hi! Nice to see you. I have had the very same issues with driving & was in such a panic that I didn't drive for 3 years. It was a long, hard climb back to getting behind the wheel. You have identified the problem early & have