Having very bad day already--need help
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| Wed, 06-28-2006 - 9:06am |
The work situation is deteriorating very fast. I don't know how long I can hold it together--I'm barely able to get any work done, and because the work I do is quantitative and very easy to track in terms of productivity, I'm scared any day now I'll get in trouble for not doing enough. I'm also really afraid I'm going to lose my temper, and soon. I would rather do almost anything in the world than cry, but last night I actually broke down and sobbed until I got a nosebleed. That freaked me out enough to stop. After I wiped up the blood, I took a Klonopin and tried to take it easy the rest of the night. I just lay on my bed and cried and begged God over and over at least 50 times to please get me out of this job.
So here I am at work today. It's barely 9 a.m. and already I've snapped at the hapless Fed-Ex delivery woman. She was just doing her job, and I was snitty to her. I'm not normally that kind of a person. I guess I did it because I knew I could get away with it. Wednesdays are always bad because we have a staff meeting in the afternoon, and those are worse than anything you've seen in "Dilbert" or "Office Space." Like last week, they announced that the resident witch in our office had been promoted. This week we're supposed to discuss (read: go over ad nauseam) data standards all because 1 person doesn't know what they're doing.
I brought my Klonopin with me, but I hesitate to take any because my doctor said he didn't want me taking it too often. I had planned to take 1/2 of a pill before the meeting. Now I'm wondering if I should take 1 now. It literally is all I can do to sit here and not scream in frustration because I work in an open space and there's no hope of people leaving me alone.
Laura


(((Laura))) When do you find out about the other job?
Sheri Ann
(((Laura))) I don't know how often you take the klonopin, but if you're worried, call your dr. Let him know what your situation is. I know I had to begin taking mine again after my recent hospitalization. The dr. assured me that for now, it's ok to take more to cover my anxiety. Maybe you'll need extra just until this situation resolves. I am hoping you get the other job. It must be hard waiting to hear.
Good luck getting through the meeting. Remember your breathing & think positive thoughts. Post how things go. We care. jan