Fear and Worryof Death

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-03-2006
Fear and Worryof Death
4
Sat, 07-01-2006 - 3:13pm
Hi Everybody
Someone posted a post about the fears of death and boy it hit close to home.. My entire life I have been terrified of death. Yes, I know eveybody is going to die however, it turns into an obsession for me at times.. For years I would aviod driving past the local funeral polar and go home the long way just to avoid passing it.. I cannot go to funerals.. When I was little my parents took me to a viewing and years ago I went to 1 viwing and THAT WAS IT!! I cannot have lilies around me because they smell like death to me! My very close cousin had a terrible car accident with her 2 year old 2years this fourth of July.. Our little Jaqueline ( the 2 year old) dies instantly) I couldnt go to the funeral or viewing. It worked out because I watched all of the little likds in the family while everyone was at the viewing etc.. After the accident I refused to get back in my car and my husband ended up having to buy me an SUV to drive.. I still barely drive in fear of an accident.. I worry constantly about my kids. More me 10 year old.. He;s ten but looks 6.. I get to the point where I think he is going to stop breathing in his sleep ! I say to myself oh my Gos what if something happened to my kids or my husband? These thoughts bring total panic!! Its torture. I can go on and on but I am sure you all have the picture. My quetion is, has anyone else gone through this and can anyone suggest anything to help? They say face your fears and like I said I have been to a funeral polar and there is no way I am going back!! My husband has had a few deaths in his family last year a very close uncle and I just couldnt bring myself to go and I couldnt be there to support my husband! ( its terrible and I should have been there for him) Looking for lots of input! Kriss :0)
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
Sat, 07-01-2006 - 6:48pm

We all have fears, Kriss. You aren't alone. Death is one that is universal. Noone has to have an anxiety disorder to be afraid of it. Have you been in therapy? I have found it very helpful. Death is such a sensitive issue, that it doesn't seem to be one that we can *desensitize* ourselves to without some professional help.


I am sorry about Jacqueline. That must be really hard for you. I hope that you can find some peace with this issue, perhaps even spiritually, as it seems to have interfered with your life. Good luck & GBU! (((hugs))) jan




 

 


 



iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2004
Sun, 07-02-2006 - 10:05am
Hi Kriss-
First-welome and Im glad you came here and shared your feelings. What a horrible thing to have had the loss of a 2 year old in your family so tragically. I am so sorry. Funerals are not a comfortable thing. I too get very worked up about it. It seems you may benefit from Therapy, you may even have some Post Tramatic Stress from the tragic loss. In my opinion. anxiety and fears do not usually go away. You should seek some sort of help to assist you in coping better. Thats just my opinion. Maybe see you dr tell him your fears especially how you worry about your 10 year old and see what he recommends. You deserve to live the best life possible and I know how crippling these thoughts racing through your head could be. Keep posting back, just talking about it and sharing what you feel could never be shared is priceless therapy!
Donna
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2003
Sun, 07-02-2006 - 8:40pm

Hi Kriss, there was a time when I was obsessed with a fear of dying.

Sheri Ann

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-21-2004
Tue, 07-04-2006 - 3:24pm
Hey Kriss, I understand exactly how you feel,I am having the exact same problem myself right now. My fear of dying started 6 years ago after one of my friends passed away in a car accident, and just when I was learning to heal, it happened again one year later, and there has been no helping me since. I have anxiety and panic attacks that are associated with this fear and it is terrible to feel worried and panicked and anxious all of the time. My suggestions to you are ones that help me through these moments. First of all, learn to listen to yourself, pep talks are a great strategy, Positive self talk gets me through alot of my days, when you feel it coming on, or you have to face a situation that you dont want to , tell yourself repeatedly that you are strong, and that you WILL be ok. When I first started doing this, I had to write down my feelings and emotions and beside it all write that I would be ok, just so I could read it. It was like my string that attached me to reality. It may sound strange, but please try it, it really helps me. Second thing that I did, was I had my husband write me a letter in my journal, and when I have these crazy thoughts and feelings and worries, it is something personal to me from someone I trust and it just seems to make those moments not so bad ( also great if you suffer from panick attacks) Its just something nice to remind you that people love you and care about you and it reminds you that you will be ok. My last suggestion, for me personally when I am faced with a situation that I no is going to freak the ever living crap out of me, I run into it full tilt, but also accompanied by Xanex!!!! LOL, well I really hope that if you try these things that they work for you. Good Luck.